The false self in Christian contexts: a Winnicottian perspective.
Parker, Stephen ; Davis, Edward
The concept of the false self has captured the imagination of
popular Christian authors for decades (e.g., Benner, 2004; Eldredge,
2001; Finley, 1978/2003; Manning, 1994; Merton, 1961). Although such
discussions often have psychological overtones, they do not tend to
revolve around an explicitly psychological theory of the false self,
such as the one offered by object relations theorist D. W. Winnicott
(1896-1974). Using Winnicott's theory, this article seeks to deepen
the popular-Christian discussion of the false self by providing a
sustained psychological frame. Further, it seeks to extend the
psychological discussion of the false self to an exploration of how
Christian contexts (e.g., churches) may contribute to the false
self's manifestations and maintenance. We aim to help Christian
counselors and pastors understand the false self from a psychological
standpoint, particularly its origins, manifestations, and maintaining
factors. We also hope to provide practical suggestions for undermining
and reducing Christians' false-self expressions while fostering and
increasing their true-self expressions.
Winnicott's Theory of the False Self
Winnicott (1960a/1965) sets his theory of the false self within a
developmental context--a context which acknowledges the false
self's counterpoint, the true self, as well. According to
Winnicott, the emergence of either aspect of the self is directly
related to the quality and consistency of a person's early
caregiving environment.
The True Self as Counterpoint
During his career, Winnicott wrote a good deal on the nature and
development of the true self (Winnicott,1954/1958, 1955/1958, 1956/1958,
1959/1965, 1960a/1965, 1963a/1965, 1964/1986), usually discussing it as
a counterpoint to the false self. In fact, he once asserted: "There
is but little point in formulating a True Self idea except for the
purpose of trying to understand the False Self, because it does no more
than collect together the details of the experience of aliveness"
(Winnicott, 1960a/1965, p. 148). For Winnicott, the true self begins in
the "motility" (i.e., the spontaneous motor movements) of the
infant, which the primary caregiver ideally responds to (1956/1958).
Winnicott argued that early personality development occurs within the
context of a mother-infant "unit" that only later separates
into two recognizable individuals (1952/1958).
During this early period, the mother plays a key role in her
child's development, optimally through providing what Winnicott
called good-enough mothering (i.e., being attuned to and appropriately
meeting the child's needs). According to Winnicott (1960b/1965),
what constitutes good-enough mothering varies according to where the
child is in his/her developmental progression "from absolute
dependence, through relative dependence, to independence" (p. 42).
Over the course of this progression, good-enough mothering facilitates
the child's growth toward a healthy sense of self, as separate from
yet related to its environment and its caregivers. In other words,
children are aware of and develop a sense of their own interior life
while becoming aware of and developing a shared life in connection with
others around them.
During early infancy, good-enough mothering ideally involves a
primary maternal preoccupation in which the mother is temporarily
consumed with fulfilling her baby's spontaneously-arising needs
(Winnicott, 1956/1958). Ideally the infant is able to experience a
generally undisrupted sense of "going on being" (Winnicott,
1956/1958, p. 303), as his or her spontaneous gestures are reliably
sensed and responded to. To facilitate this optimal socioemotional
milieu, the mother needs to create a holding environment where the
infant unconsciously feels safe, loved, and nurtured (Winnicott,
1960b/1965). In turn, the baby will develop an overall sense of
security, belonging, and personal importance, laying the foundation for
healthy personality development.
Winnicott's assertion is that through the consistent provision
of good-enough mothering, the child's nascent true self is
gradually strengthened. For Winnicott (1960a/1965, 1971), this
consolidation of the true self occurs chiefly via "play"
(i.e., spontaneous, creative self-expression). In fact, Winnicott
(1960a/1965) explained:
At the earliest stage the True Self is
the theoretical position from which
come the spontaneous gesture and
the personal idea. The spontaneous
gesture is the True Self in action.
Only the True Self can be creative
and only the True Self can feel real.
(p. 148)
For him it is through creative self-expression that the child
develops not only his or her creative abilities but also the ability to
feel as if he or she exists (Winnicott, 1960a/1965, 1971). As Burns
Smith (1999) summarized, the true self serves as the wellspring of the
child's "creativity, aliveness, and sense of reality" (p.
9). Also, of note, this deep core of the self has both a sacred and
incommunicable quality to it (Winnicott, 1963a/1965).
In infancy and toddlerhood, for the child's true self to
emerge, not only do his or her creative, spontaneous gestures need to be
recognized and responded to, but the child's aggressive gestures
need to be sensed and survived as well. More specifically, the child
needs to gradually learn that his or her feelings of subjective
omnipotence are really an illusion--caregivers are able to
"survive" his or her destructive impulses. As that realization
occurs, the illusion of subjective omnipotence is gradually relinquished
and ego differentiation transpires. Ideally, if provided an environment
that is adequately responsive and reliable, the true self comes to
dominate the personality and express itself freely (Winnicott,
1960a/1965, 1960b/1965; cf. Mitchell & Black, 1995).
Here it is important to note that for Winnicott (1960a/1965,
1960b/1965, 1971), "holding" is a metaphor which describes not
only the mother's physical handling of her child but also her
ability to foster and protect a psychical environment (i.e., a
psychological, social, and emotional atmosphere) that enables her infant
to develop optimally. In particular, the mother must implicitly convince
her infant that its presence, needs, and excretions are recognized,
attended to, and treated as important. Through adequate holding, the
infant sees him- or herself through the eyes of the mother, as in a
mirror. Ideally, it is through this mirroring that the infant becomes
able to see him- or herself as valued--as a self whose spontaneous
gestures are recognized, responded to, and allowed a place (Winnicott,
1967/1971; cf. Schore, 2003).
The Origins and Development of the False Self
However, problems can occur if the child's early environment
is not good-enough--that is, is deficient in terms of the quality and
quantity of responsive caregiving that the infant receives. Winnicott
argued that in the midst of such caregiving experiences, the
child's sense of self becomes split, leading to the development of
a protective layer of personality which he called the false self. In
short, Winnicott (1960a/1965) believed that the false self has its
origins in failures of the early caregiving environment, and it emerges
as a defensive response to such failures.
According to Winnicott (1949/1958, 1960a/1965, 1963e/1989), there
are several specific factors that influence the development of the false
self, including: (1) the frequency, severity, and duration of these
caregiving deficiencies; (2) the infant's reactions to said
deficiencies; (3) and the infant's innate capacities to tolerate
delay. Acknowledging the infant's contribution to the development
of the false self, Winnicott did not assert that specific manifestations
of the false self emanated from specific caregiving deficiencies, such
as maternal depression. Though he recognized various ways that the
child's caregiving environment could be not good-enough (e.g.,
recurrent unresponsiveness or late responsiveness to the infant's
gestures, repeated substitution of the caregiver's gestures for the
infant's), Winnicott (1960a/1965, 1960b/1965) cited caregiver
inconsistency as potentially the most deleterious.
The Function and Character of the False Self
According to Winnicott (1960a/1965), the chief purpose of the false
self is to preserve and protect the true self. Much of the time, the
false self does this by complying with environmental demands so as to
maximize need gratification. Other times, it manifests in troubling
forms such as psychosis or in more socially-acceptable forms such as
intellectualism. Perhaps most benignly, it manifests in ways reminiscent
of Jung's (1928/1953) persona, as a polite and well-mannered social
mask that ensures people do not wear their emotions on their sleeve
(Winnicott, 1960a/1965).
Unfortunately, utilizing the false self to defend against
environmental failures comes at a cost. One of the highest costs of
false-self utilization is the cost of feeling unreal. Here Winnicott
(1954/1958) provided the following cost-benefit analysis:
The development of a false self is one
of the most successful defence organizations
designed for the protection
of the true self's core, and its existence
results in the sense of futility....
[W]hile the individual's operational
centre is in the false self there is a
sense of futility, and in practice we
find the change to the feeling that life
is worth while coming at the moment
of shift of the operational centre from
the false to the true self..
From this one can formulate a fundamental
principle of existence: that
which proceeds from the true self
feels real ([and] later good) whatever
its nature, [and] however aggressive;
that which happens in the individual
as a reaction to environmental
impingement feels unreal, futile
([and] later bad), however sensually
satisfactory [at the time]. (p. 292)
According to Winnicott (1960a/1965), during situations of not
good-enough holding, the infant recognizes that in order to
existentially "survive," his or her spontaneous (i.e.,
authentic) gestures must be supplanted by the compliant (i.e.,
inauthentic) gestures that the environment seems to "require."
Winnicott (1960a/1965) referred to any instance that necessitates such
substitute gestures as involving an environmental impingement.
For example, a preoccupied caregiver might force her infant to
nurse according to the caregiver's busy schedule, even when the
infant desires to take a break from feeding. Here the substitution of
the caregiver's pressing agenda for the infant's temporary
disinterest involves an environmental impingement. Winnicottian theory
would suggest that this impingement would cause the infant's true
self to withdraw and his or her false self to emerge, so as to comply
with the feeding demand. As is evident with this example, impingement
requires the infant to react to environmental demands, thus disrupting
his/her "continuity of being" (Winnicott, 1960b/1965, p. 54),
stifling his/her true self, and suspending his/her freedom to engage in
spontaneous gestures (Winnicott, 1960a/1965).
Interestingly, Winnicott (1959/1965) described how the false self
might manifest in an infant who has a strong intellectual capacity.
Because such an infant is well endowed intellectually, his or her
response to a not good-enough environment might commonly come via a
precocious use of the mind. More specifically, the mind may take over
the holding function of the mother, housing the false self and hiding
the true self, deceiving relationship partners and disassociating the
intellect from psychosomatic experience (Winnicott, 1949/1958,
1955/1958, 1960a/1965).
A Continuum of the False Self
Of note, Winnicott (1960a/1965) acknowledged that every person has
a false self, and the false self dominates each person's
personality to a greater or lesser degree. In other words, he recognized
that each individual's personality was characterized by "a low
or a high degree of the False Self defence[,] ranging from the healthy
polite aspect of the self to the truly split-off compliant False Self
which is mistaken for the whole [person]" (Winnicott, 1960a/1965,
p. 150). In another place, Winnicott (1964/1986) noted: "in some
form or other or to some degree each of us is divided in this way, into
a true self and a false self" (p. 65). Basically, people vary as to
how much the false self pervades their personality and thus imbues their
self-expression (Winnicott, 1960a/1965).
At the adaptive end of the false-self continuum are people with
healthy ego capacities. Such persons usually act out of the true self
but show appropriate utilization of the false self (e.g., they are
polite and socially mannered and do not wear their emotions on their
sleeve). Conversely, at the pathological end of the false-self continuum
are people with impaired ego capacities. Such individuals always or
almost always act out of the false self, perhaps even in therapy. In
fact, they keep their true self so reliably hidden that they could be
described as having a "False Self personality" (Winnicott,
1960a/1965, p. 150). Most people lie somewhere in between these two
extremes and generally continue to operate out of the false self until
they find a good-enough holding environment to facilitate the emergence
of their dormant true self. They may find this type of environment in
certain types of relationships or contexts, or they may only find this
type of environment with specific relationship partners.
It is also necessary to point out that this idea of a false-self
continuum suggests that there is a dynamic interplay between the false
self and the true self. True to his psychoanalytic roots, Winnicott
(1960a/1965) described both the false self and the true self as having
positive and negative qualities. In other words, it would be easy to
assume that the Winnicottian false self is entirely "bad,"
while the Winnicottian true self is entirely "good." However,
such an understanding is not only overly simplistic, but it is
fundamentally inconsistent with Winnicott's theory of the false
self.
Although there are clearly aspects of the false self that are
pathological, it has some positive qualities as well. For example, not
only does it protect the true self from annihilation, but it also
enables the person to function socially in an appropriate, mannered way.
In contrast, though there are obviously aspects of the true self that
are adaptive, it has some negative qualities too. For instance, it
cannot survive constant exposure to "living in the world"
(1963d/1965, p. 225; cf. 1963a/1965). In short, the psychodynamics of
the false self and the true self demand a nuanced appreciation of both
entities.
Manifestations and Maintenance of the False Self in Christian
Contexts
Before turning our attention more directly to the presence of the
false self in Christian contexts, it is important to make a distinction
between the development of the false self and its maintenance. As stated
previously, Winnicott (1960a/1965) argued that the false self develops
within the context of one's early caregiving environment. More
specifically, the origins of the false self lie in a person's
early-childhood interactions with his or her caregivers.
Consequently, according to Winnicott, later social influences and
experiences do not contribute directly to the development of a
person's false self per se, but they might contribute to its
manifestation and maintenance. Perhaps such a possibility is most likely
in situations that are reminiscent of previous environmental failures
(impingements). Importantly, more recent theorists (e.g., see Masterson,
2005; Masterson & Lieberman, 2004) have expressed disagreement with
Winnicott's assertion that the false self is fully developed early
in life. Instead, they have argued that it develops well beyond
childhood, maybe even across the entire life course. These theorists
raise the possibility that later social influences and experiences may
indeed contribute to the development of the false self, in addition to
contributing to its manifestation and maintenance. However, such a
possibility departs from a Winnicottian view of the false self and
therefore will not be explored in this article. Instead, using a
Winnicottian frame, we will discuss how the false self might manifest
and be maintained in Christian contexts (e.g., churches), largely
depending on the contributions of various environmental and/or
intrapsychic factors.
Manifestations of the False Self in Christian Contexts
Compliance. One way the false self may manifest in Christian
contexts is in the form of excessive compliance. For example, a
congregant may never be able to say "no" to pastors or church
leaders, or they may never be able to assert themselves or question
anything. Or, perhaps they compulsively comply with certain religious
rules, always presenting a socially-acceptable front (Winnicott,
1960a/1965).
Reactivity. The false self might also manifest in Christian
contexts as congregants react to impingements on their sense of
going-on-being. For instance, such impingements could take the form of
imposed perfectionism, legalism, or triumphalism, each of which mandates
the suppression of any discussions of human weakness or suffering. In
the face of these impingements, some congregants may react defensively
by being rebellious or combative, thus protecting their true self from
annihilation (Winnicott, 1960a/1965).
Deadness. Another way the false self can manifest in Christian
contexts is in the form of an internal sense of deadness. For example, a
congregant might not experience any aliveness or joy in Christian work
or fellowship, but they could tend to "put on a face" to mask
the deadness they feel inside. In fact, to overcompensate, they might
use busyness as a cover, incessantly involving themselves in a flurry of
church activities.
Over-intellectualized faith. The false self could manifest in
Christian contexts as an over-intellectualized faith as well. For
instance, a congregant who has a high intellectual capacity might have a
false self that is seated in the intellect (Winnicott, 1960a/1965). This
false self might manifest in the congregant's habitual
self-expressions, including those in Christian contexts. He or she may
tend to substitute an over-emphasis on doctrine for a vital, ongoing
relationship with God and other Christians.
Impinging God images. Finally, one last way the false self might
manifest in Christian contexts is in the form of impinging God images
(i.e., the mental representations that underlie a person's
emotional experience of God; Moriarty & Hoffman, 2007). For example,
at an emotional and largely nonconscious and nonverbal level, a
congregant might experience God as exacting, demanding perfection. Or,
he or she may experience God as hostile, uncaring, or preoccupied.
Regardless of the type of impinging God image that the congregant
experiences, he or she will presumably use the false self to interact
with God and others in Christian contexts, in order to protect the true
self from impingement.
General conclusion. In general, it can be concluded that if the
false self dominates a Christian individual's personality, then it
will likely manifest recurrently in his or her self-expressions in
Christian contexts as well, reliably keeping the true self hidden.
Further, if the false self dominates a Christian's personality,
then it will likely manifest recurrently in his or her self-expressions
in emotional relationship with God. In this latter case, it is important
to realize that the Christian may have impinging God images, even though
their God concepts (i.e., their doctrinal understandings of God) are
biblically consistent, reflecting an orthodox theology (Moriarty &
Hoffman, 2007).
Maintenance of the False Self in Christian Contexts
As in all contexts, the maintenance of the false self in Christian
contexts is the result of some type(s) of environmental deficiency; that
is, it is the result of the environment's failure to provide
good-enough holding. The factors that contribute to such failure may lie
in the Christian's environment (e.g., local church family), in the
person's intrapsychic resources (e.g., God images, object images),
and/or in the collusion between the two (e.g., via reciprocal
reinforcement).
Environmental contributions. There are several ways that a
Christian's local church family might contribute to the maintenance
of the false self and thus impinge on the emergence of the true self.
One possible form this may take is a congregational culture which is
characterized by a general failure to recognize, become attuned with,
and respond empathically to the spontaneous gestures of its congregants.
For example, a congregation might not give enough space for congregants
to experience and express the emotional and bodily dimensions of the
Christian faith, instead overemphasizing the cognitive dimensions. Or,
it might not foster the spontaneous expression of congregants'
gifts, talents, and abilities, possibly because of impinging
congregational norms or programming needs. Finally, it might not allow
for congregants' empowerment and assertive self-expression, perhaps
due to a hierarchical church culture.
A Christian's local church family may also help maintain the
false self via various means by which the church's gestures or
needs are substituted for the spontaneous gestures of its congregants.
For instance, a church member may feel a calling to a certain ministry
with which his or her local congregation is not yet involved. Instead of
being encouraged to minister in this new domain, the congregant is
instead asked to serve in one of the existing ministry programs, despite
the fact that it might not hold any particular interest or sense of
calling for the congregant. Here the church's needs and programming
demands are substituted for the congregant's gifts, callings, and
passions. Of note, it is not that the church's existing programs
are unimportant or do not need workers. The point here is that when a
congregant's spontaneous gestures are displaced by the
congregation's, the expression of the true self is impeded to a
certain extent.
Winnicott (1963c/1965) himself thought that churches could
encourage the false self when they offer foreclosed answers to questions
of morality. Stated differently, the moral stances of the church might
implicitly demand congregant foreclosure, forbidding critical
examination. Rather than allowing individuals to come to their own
conclusions regarding morality, the church's impinging culture may
instead necessitate the use of the false self. Winnicott believed that
such foreclosure was especially problematic in the case of youths. That
is, if children in religious contexts are told too quickly what they may
or may not do, then they may never develop intrinsic reasons for why
they should or should not behave in a certain way. Similarly, one might
think of congregations as impinging on the development of the true self
when there is not enough space for congregants to think for themselves.
When congregants must dogmatically comply with the prescribed doctrine
of their church, their ability to express themselves freely is severely
hindered, making vital emotional connection with God and other
congregants difficult at best.
Yet another way that local congregations may contribute to the
maintenance of the false self is when they implicitly espouse a
perfectionistic Christian spirituality or worldview. In this case, the
message that is conveyed to church members subtly or not so subtly is:
Human failures and frailties are unacceptable among the redeemed.
Perfectionism of character and behavior is not only championed as
possible, but it is put forth as expected. Therefore, any thought or
deed that lacks a pure and just motive is forbidden, along with any
negative feeling or any selfish impulse. Thus, only the compliant false
self is expressed in the person's prayers, verbalizations, and
other behaviors. With its longings to be open, honest, and vulnerable,
the true self must remain hidden behind a mask of pretense, conformity,
perfectionism, or legalism (cf. Gruber, 1995; Johnson & Burroughs,
2000; Mebane & Ridley, 1988).
As with normal human development, when a Christian's church
does not feel safe and supportive, the false self will emerge in ways
that are designed to adapt to environmental impingements and protect the
true self from annihilation. The believer may come to feel that his or
her deepest sins, struggles, and longings must be denied, so as to
survive external requirements for perfection, triumph, and
self-sufficiency. Here the false self will presumably manifest and be
maintained, to the detriment of authentic community and spiritual
expression. A sense of deadness, isolation, and emptiness will fester,
but this too must be masked by pretense of aliveness (Winnicott,
1960a/1965).
Intrapsychic contributions. Intrapsychic factors may also
contribute to the maintenance of the false self in Christian contexts.
The two most likely mechanisms for this type of contribution are
believers' object images and God images, both of which grow out of
a person's developmental history (Lang, 1994; Parker, 1999;
Rizutto, 1979). First of all, a Christian's maladaptive images of
others may cause them to experience other Christians as impinging, even
if such a perception is not factually accurate. For instance, a believer
might perceive his or her pastor as neglectful, not because the pastor
is neglectful per se, but perhaps because of an internalized object
image. Or, other Christians may be experienced as only caring about a
certain congregational agenda, such as evangelism or social justice.
Essentially, the recurrent evocation of impinging object images will
help maintain the false self, since it will require the false
self's repeated utilization to cope.
Second, a believer's maladaptive images of God might cause
them to experience God as impinging, if mainly at a nonconscious, bodily
and emotional level (Moriarty & Hoffman, 2007). For example, a
Christian may have a God image which causes them to experience God as a
relentless taskmaster, again perhaps due to an internalized object image
(Parker, 1999). Here again the repeated evocation of impinging God
images will help maintain the false self, because it will require the
false self in order to survive interacting with this figure.
Whenever a believer's relationship with God is experienced as
unable to hold the person and his or her feelings (especially negative
ones), there is a great likelihood that the person will use their false
self in order to cope. For instance, if God is experienced as unable to
receive one's aggression, hatred, or other kinds of sinfulness,
then the person may recurrently present a false self which complies with
this God. Or, if God is perceived as requiring only strength and
perfection, as not accepting human weakness or failure, then even in
prayer the believer might only express an acceptable false self, hiding
self-aspects that are thought to be unacceptable. In Winnicottian terms,
such an image of God seems to require the substitution of
"hyper-spiritual" gestures for the more honest, but obviously
more imperfect, gestures of the true self. Similarly, if there is the
perception that God is not sufficiently present or interested in
one's unique personal development, or perhaps interested only in an
agenda that does not include one's true self, then a false self
will manifest to interact with this image of God.
In short, there are a variety of potentially impinging forms that
object and God images might take, thus contributing to the maintenance
of the false self. Perhaps most commonly, God and/or other Christians
might be experienced as unattuned, unresponsive (or conditionally
responsive), preoccupied, erratic, or rejecting. Or, they may simply
seem unable to contain both the good and the bad. Any of these impinging
object or God images may contribute to the maintenance of the false self
via intrapsychic mechanisms.
Colluding environmental and intrapsychic forces. It is important to
note that oftentimes, environmental and intrapsychic forces can collude
with one another and thereby help maintain the false self. For example,
a congregation might collude with its congregants' false selves by
providing a church culture that thrives on busy programming. Or, church
leaders could model false-self behavior by never being able to say
"no" (and by implicitly requiring this of their congregants).
Yet another possibility is that churches can collude with congregants
who have an intellectualized false self by overemphasizing the cognitive
dimensions of the faith, at the expense (or perhaps even total
exclusion) of emotional and bodily dimensions.
On the flip side, congregants might be drawn to certain Christian
contexts which reinforce their false self. For instance, they could be
attracted to congregations which reward their intellectualism,
dogmatism, perfectionism, or workaholism. In such environments,
intrapsychic tendencies and congregational culture will feed off each
other, maintaining the congregant's false self and reliably
suppressing their true self.
Clinical and Pastoral-Care Implications
In the section which follows, we will consider some clinical and
pastoral-care implications of these ideas. We aim not only to provide
recommendations for how to recognize and undermine the false self in
work with Christians, but we also offer suggestions for how to affirm
and nurture the true self in such work.
Undermining the False Self in Christian Contexts
Recognizing the false selfs manifestations and maintaining factors.
The best way for clinicians, pastors, and the people they serve to
undermine the false self is to develop the ability to recognize its
manifestations and maintaining factors, including those that are
described above. For clinicians, recognizing the false self's
manifestations and maintaining factors can help facilitate case
conceptualization, treatment planning, and strategic intervention. For
pastoral-care workers, it can facilitate accurate discernment,
congregational decision-making, and strategic ministry. For congregants
themselves, it can facilitate decreased collusion with environmental
forces that might evoke or maintain their false self.
Undermining the need for the false self. For Winnicott
(1960a/1965), the chief way to combat the false self is by creating an
environmental atmosphere characterized by safety, nurturance,
responsiveness, and consistency. In other words, he argued that since
the false self came into being because of not good-enough holding (i.e.,
environmental failures in caregiving), therefore it is undermined by the
provision of good-enough holding. For Winnicott, therapy was a
relational space where this type of repair could occur. Specifically, he
described the potential for the therapist to provide a special kind of
holding environment that was missed early on in life, with this
relational experience fostering a repair of the psyche. Such an
environment provides a safe place for the true self to come out of
hiding, enabling the steady relinquishment of the false self.
Winnicott (1960a/1965) saw such clinical work as very taxing on the
therapist. Consequently, he recommended that therapists refrain from
taking on more than one or two of these types of cases at a time.
Winnicott was also clear that therapists might find it extremely
difficult to breach the defensive armor of the false self, perhaps
ending up actually doing therapy with the false self for years. Given
such comments, it is remarkable that more than once, Winnicott noted the
recovery from early failures in caregiving could indeed be accomplished
"apart from organized psychotherapy, for instance, in friendship..
.[or] in cultural experiences, including for some those that are called
religious" (Winnicott, 1961/1986, p. 106; cf. Winnicott, 1954/1958,
1963b/1965). This acknowledgment points to the possibility that
Christian congregations can become environments for the undermining of
the false self.
In addition to helping Christian clients and congregants develop
relationships that erode the need for the false self, pastoral-care
providers and clinicians might also help undermine the false self in
other ways. Within a psychoanalytic framing, such ministry or
intervention must occur within the context of the therapeutic
relationship, but more realistically, they all can be adapted toward the
same end outside of this context, even by those who do not have a
psychoanalytic bent. For instance, pastors and other pastoral-care
workers can help their congregants learn how to identify and interrupt
the patterns of false-self behaviors noted above. They can also help
their congregants identify the costs (and benefits) of false-self
behavior, exploring perhaps more adaptive ways of behaving and relating.
Finally, they can help their congregants discover more about their God
images and thereby begin the process of learning how to interact with
God in a more healthy and rewarding manner. Recent research on implicit
relational representations and emotional information processing seems
especially promising in helping to inform this process (see Noffke &
Hall, 2007).
One specific way that pastors and counselors might help undermine
the false self of the people they work with is to highlight applicable
scriptural analogies. For instance, they could talk with congregants and
clients about the comments Jesus made on being outwardly righteous but
inwardly destitute, perhaps illustrative of the false self (Matt.
23:27-28; cf. Matt 15:7-9, on serving God with one's lips but not
one's heart). They could also discuss Paul's comments on
living by the flesh rather than by the Spirit (Romans 8:4) or on living
under law as opposed to under grace (Galatians, chap. 3-5). Exploring
these passages may help congregants and clients become better equipped
to recognize the costs, manifestations, and maintaining factors of their
false self, thereby fostering the type of awareness and motivation that
can undermine the false self.
Lastly, as stated previously, congregations that have an inordinate
amount of programming can often overwork their congregants and
potentially collude with the false self. Congregants who have a
pronounced false self may be the easiest targets for over-tasking,
because of the overly compliant nature of the false self. Pastors,
therapists, and congregants themselves should therefore be alert to the
potential for the false self to compulsively comply with all the
requests made upon it, to the detriment of the true self and to the
impediment of authentic relating. Paradoxically, the way to preserve the
true self in such cases is actually to decrease one's
congregational activities. Although people withdraw from active
Christian service for a variety of reasons, Winnicott (1960a/1965) would
help us recognize that at times, congregants may feel as if the only way
to preserve their true self from annihilation is to do less for the
congregation.
Nurturing the emergence of the true self.
Efforts to nurture the emergence of the true self must of necessity
accompany efforts to undermine the false self. Otherwise, the true self
will remain in hiding, requiring the continued use of the false self.
One way that pastors and pastoral-care workers can nurture the true
self is to allow for the spontaneous gestures of congregants. For
instance, as already suggested pastoral leaders can look for ways to
honor and implement the gifts, callings, and talents of their
congregants. Although there is a clear need for pastoral leadership to
discern the appropriateness and timeliness of congregational programs,
there also needs to be a place for openness to the Spirit's
leadership into new areas and forms of ministry (i.e., areas and forms
in which the congregation may not currently be engaged). Ideally, the
Spirit will move upon the heart of specific congregants, inspiring works
of ministry through spontaneous gestures that are consonant with both
who that congregant is at their core and what the Spirit is calling the
church to at that time.
A second way that pastors, congregations, and therapists can
nurture the true self is to promote an integrated spirituality. An
integrated spirituality would be one in which emotional, bodily, and
cognitive dimensions are involved in one's worship of, service to,
and relationship with God. Often, certain congregations or theologies
encourage various kinds of splitting among their congregants, in the
sense that they overemphasize one dimension to the neglect (or outright
exclusion) of the others. Similarly, an integrated spirituality would
embrace not only a theology of triumph and resurrection but also a
theology of suffering and lament as well (Brueggemann, 1986; Shabad,
Wright, Strawn, & Yangarber-Hicks, 2009).
The notion of an integrated spirituality would further extend to
the nurturance of holistic, integrated images of God. For example, we
have already noted that believers can have an image of God in which God
is only interested in or able to contain their good self-aspects (but
not their bad). We have also discussed God images which do not allow for
human imperfections and frailties but instead insist on perfection and
triumph. Similarly, congregations and their congregants might need to
counter one-dimensional God images with complex and multi-dimensional
ones that are more reflective of God's fullness and personhood. To
illustrate, the image of God as nurturing mother can be found throughout
Scripture, alongside pictures of God as loving father (e.g., Psalm 131;
Isaiah 49:14-16; Luke 15; Galatians 4:21-31). As it relates to this
article, such multi-dimensional imagery is important in two ways. First,
the conjunction of such images allows for a more holistic understanding
of God's nature (e.g., as embracing both feminine/nurturing
elements and masculine/idealizing elements). Second, it allows for an
exploration of how God might mother a believer in much the same ways
that Winnicott (1956/1958, 1960a/1965, 1960b/1965) described (cf. Coe,
2000).
As with the undermining of the false self, a practical way of
promoting a more integrated spirituality with Christians is the use of
scriptural passages that encourage a movement toward more authentic
living. For instance, Jesus' description of the indwelling Holy
Spirit manifesting in the life of a believer is strikingly similar to
Winnicott's description of the true self. Speaking of the Holy
Spirit (John 7:39), Jesus said: "He who believes in Me [who cleaves
to and trusts in and relies on Me] as the Scripture has said, 'From
his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of
living water'" (John 7:38, Amplified Bible). Similarly,
Winnicott (1960a/1965) depicted a person's true self as the source
of vitality that flows out from deep within and ideally emerges as a
continuous stream of creative, life-giving self-expression (cf. Burns
Smith, 1999; Mitchell & Black, 1995). Furthermore, similarly to how
Paul discussed the importance of being continuously filled with the
Spirit (Eph. 5:18), Winnicott's true self must maintain a vital
facilitating connection with its relational environment in order for it
to be expressed. Otherwise, it remains hidden behind a false self,
dormant in pregnant potentiality (Winnicott, 1960a/1965; Mitchell &
Black, 1995).
Another way the true self can be nurtured is when congregations
serve the function of providing environmental "management."
For certain manifestations of the false self, Winnicott (1960a/1965; cf.
1961/1986) noted that a period of management was needed before any sort
of analytic therapy might proceed. He used this term
"management" to describe a host of supportive interventions
that might provide temporary holding to individuals who failed to
experience adequate holding earlier in life. In other words, for him,
management referred to a supportive environment which helped facilitate
the emergence of stunted capacities for self-care and self-containment.
We should note again at this point that "holding" is an
extended metaphor for Winnicott (1961/1986). For him, chief among the
places where people might experience holding later in life is therapy.
However, Winnicott also recognized organized religion among the social
environments that could continue or extend the early holding function of
the mother. In other words, from a Winnicottian perspective, churches
might be able to compensate for early caregiving failures, providing
good-enough holding environments that will support adaptive ego repair
and development. Winnicott also thought that certain kinds of
friendships could serve this purpose.
One possibility then in the nurturing of the true self is to think
of the congregation as providing a certain kind of management or
holding. Here the congregation can provide places for good-enough
holding to occur, such as small groups or prayer groups. It can also
facilitate such holding by emphasizing the importance of close
relationships and community. Even more specifically, it can promote this
holding by encouraging vulnerable sharing, perhaps through relational
avenues like mentoring or accountability relationships. Pastors,
therapists, and congregations should note that in any given
congregation, there may only be a few individuals who can offer the kind
of relationship that Winnicott described as nurturing of the true self.
Similarly, there may be certain congregations that are especially good
nurturers of the true self. In either case, special congregants or
special congregations, maintaining appropriate self-care boundaries will
be important, considering the heavy emotional toll that comes along with
efforts to undermine the false self and nurture the true self
(Winnicott, 1960a/1965).
In addition to resources within the congregation, we note that
therapy can be a way in which the true self is nurtured. For instance, a
believer might find a safe place within the context of Christian
counseling--a context that is ideally experienced as a holding
environment where the true self may emerge and flourish. If the true
self is adequately fostered and attended to in this context, then it may
become strong enough to manifest in other contexts as well, including
good-enough Christian contexts. Similarly, one might find counseling
that focuses on God-image-related concerns helpful in undermining the
power by which maladaptive God images help maintain false-self patterns
(Parker, 1996, 1999).
Finally, we note that it also is important to remember that
manifestations of the false self occur on a continuum; that is, there
are greater and lesser degrees of its presence. To facilitate the
emergence and strengthening of the true self, a congregation or
counselor need not be perfect; a good-enough congregation or counselor
will do. Such congregations and counselors will occasionally fail but
will prove reliable overall, thus reflecting a God who is steadfast in
both the good and the bad times.
Conclusion
This article has explored the phenomenon of the false self in
Christian contexts. It has examined some of its manifestations, as well
as some of its maintaining factors. Further, we have offered suggestions
on how the false self might be undermined and the true self unfettered.
Hopefully, our reflections will help clinicians, pastors, and
congregants themselves toward both these ends.
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Stephen Parker (Ph.D. in Theology and Personality Studies, Emory
University) is Professor in the School of Psychology and Counseling,
Regent University. His research interests include models of
spiritual/religious development and the interface of theology and
personality theory.
Edward "Ward" B. Davis (M.A. in Clinical Psychology,
Regent University, 2007) is an adjunct professor in the Regent School of
Undergraduate Studies and a doctoral candidate in the Regent Doctoral
Program in Clinical Psychology (Psy.D.). Ward's interests include
the psychology of religion/spirituality, relational psychoanalysis,
personality psychology, God image, narrative identity, attachment, and
neuroscience.
Correspondence regarding this article should be sent to Stephen
Parker, Ph.D., School of Psychology and Counseling, Regent University,
1000 Regent University Drive, Virginia Beach, VA 23464;
steppar@regent.edu.
Stephen Parker
Edward Davis
Regent University