The editing process.

Fleming, Robert E.

ONCE INTO THE EDITING, we found it extremely enlightening to observe how the famous Hemingway style evolved as the author composed. In the Paris Review interview with George Plimpton, Hemingway said that he rewrote his previous day's work before starting a new session and then revised three more times: when the entire manuscript was finished, after a clean typescript was made, and again during proofreading. Not an ideal author from a publisher's point of view, Hemingway had no compunction about rewriting during proofreading--see The Garden of Eden, where David composes "as if he were going over proof," not merely proofreading, but revising as he goes (247). On the other hand, Hemingway sometimes missed typesetters' errors--see, for example, the uncertain number of Indians in "The Light of the World," where a typesetter's error went uncorrected, or Bill Gorton's identification as "Bill Grundy" in the first edition of The Sun Also Rises.

We came into the unfinished manuscript of the African book at the point where Hemingway had made two sorts of corrections. The first corrections seemed to have been made as Hemingway composed on the typewriter. Throughout the typescript of "The African Book" we came across corrections made by typewriter, obviously--because of spacing--made early in the composition process. These interlinear corrections expand points, sharpen diction, and fine-tune the style. In addition there were many corrections made by hand on the typescript (see the endpapers of our edition for an example). These result from the daily revisions of earlier work Hemingway alluded to in responding to Plimpton.

A good example of expanding a point during the first stage of writing appears on page 33 of the typescript. (1) The fourth complete sentence on the page reads, "She had watched the skinning and when the <four paws and the> tail <were finished and the skinner and N'Gui> started skinning up the back she had seen the tenderloin and asked to have it cut out." Hemingway inserted the first bracketed addition above the line, the second below the line. He circled each addition with a pencil and indicated where it was to be inserted with a diagonal (/) (UK 25).

Of the many additions and corrections made by hand, some are substantial, beginning as interlinear insertions and then extending into the margin and sometimes winding up the right-hand margin and eventually around the entire page. These passages presented two difficulties: as Hemingway realized that he was running short of room, his writing grew smaller, and at times the inserted passage contained additional insertions within the insertions. But these insertions show how the writer's mind worked with a problem during composition. Although both Robert Lewis and I had worked rather extensively with manuscript materials in the past, we felt, as we worked through these 850 pages, that we were getting in touch with Hemingway's creative process as never before.

After describing how he treated the wounds of an African boy injured in a mock spear battle with a friend, Hemingway first depicted the aftermath in a terse paragraph consisting of a single line of typescript: "The informer followed me to the dining tent" (MS 40). This is expanded in a handwritten revision to: "The informer followed me to the front of our sleeping tent where I washed up carefully with blue soap." The revision furnishes details that allow the reader to respond to a complex action, suggesting tactile and olfactory responses with the reference to blue soap (UK 28). This simple change also alters a relatively empty paragraph centering on the Informer to a very specific one focused on the protagonist.

More complex is Hemingway's search for the right words to define Miss Mary's obsession with the huge lion she has been hunting and to differentiate this special lion from another heard roaring the night before. His first attempt to define her attitude, on manuscript page 62, is muddled and awkward: "But it was necessary to prove that [sic] to Miss Mary that he was not the lion who meant all of the things that meant so much to her that we had respected her feelings about." Probably without removing the page from the typewriter, Hemingway cancelled the ending of this sentence from the tenth word on and rewrote the latter part: "... to prove that he was not the lion she had hunted for so long who was charged with many offenses and whose huge pug marks, the left hind one scarred, we had followed so many times only, finally to see him going away into tall grass that lead [sic] to the heavy timber of the swamp or to the thick brush of the gerenuk country up by the old Manyatta on the way to the Chyulu hills" (MS 62; see UK 42) This latter sentence, overflowing with detail, not only illustrates Miss Mary's growing frustration over the thwarted chase but gives substance to the lion and documents his elusive nature.

Following the author through the problems of his story and observing his solutions to them was one of the pleasures of editing this manuscript. The process confirmed the considerable respect that we had for Hemingway's craftsmanship and for his skill as an editor of his own writing.

In addition to the numerous minor and substantial handwritten corrections and revisions on the typescript, the final pages of the manuscript--from the middle of Chapter 34 to the final chapter--are holograph (MS 694-850). Although Hemingway's handwriting was generally clear, there were occasional problems in reading a word or phrase. Perhaps the best example appeared in the middle of manuscript page 736 (see UK 404), where Willie the pilot is telling a story about an odd character he once knew. This man would characteristically order a "gin and...." What followed "and" was either the letter "t" or the word "it" with an undotted "i." One of us thought he had seen references to a drink called "gin and it" in 19th century fiction. He called an Englishwoman of his acquaintance and asked what it was. The reply was "gin and bitters" Case closed. But not so fast! The other editor conferred with a British colleague and was advised that "gin and t" was the common British expression for gin and tonic. Yet a third source said that "gin and it" was obviously a shortened form of "gin and Italian [vermouth]." One bit of evidence for "gin and it" meaning gin and bitters appeared in the manuscript on pages 402-403 (see UK 226), where G.C. "poured a gin and shook some bitters in it and poured another one for me." The editors settled on "gin and it" without flying to London and ordering alternate drinks at all the local pubs.

We will close our observations on editing of this fascinating text by observing that as editors we were extremely glad that we were able to rely on computers. But as critics and admirers of Hemingway, we were equally glad that the author had to rely on mid-20th century technology, working with manual typewriter and pencil. The tracks that he left along the way made for an interesting hunt.

WORKS CITED

We are grateful to Susan Wrynn of the John E Kennedy Library for her assistance with manuscript materials.

Hemingway, Ernest. "African Book," Item 223a. Hemingway Collection, John F. Kennedy Library, Boston, MA. All page references are to this manuscript.

--. The Garden of Eden. New York: Scribner's, 1986.

--. Under Kilimanjaro. Ed. Robert W. Lewis and Robert E. Fleming. Kent, OH: Kent State UP, 2005.

Plimpton, George. "An Interview with Ernest Hemingway." The Paris Review 18 (Spring 1958): 61-89.

NOTE

(1) "African Book," Item 223a, Hemingway Collection, John F. Kennedy Library, Boston, MA. All page references commencing MS are to this version. Related manuscripts in the collection are 223, 223b, 223c, 534-5, and 674b.

ROBERT E. FLEMING

University of New Mexico

Co-Editor of Under Kilimanjaro