Vaqueeros: an ethnodrama.

Carlos-Manuel

About the Play

It took the author of Vaqueeros just six months to write this play. However, gathering all the information, managing interviews and conversations, and getting legal permissions to get the work done took the author close to two years of work. And even after that the author continued to follow up with some of the people he interviewed.

The reason is simple: the play is based on separate interviews with twenty-three different men who met the author at various times and locations to talk about one single subject--sexual practices. Aside from the interviews, the author spent time researching information, gathering data, and reviewing and updating his findings as time went on.

This kind of work has been done before, but there is not a lot of it when it comes to Latinos and sexuality, nor is it usually presented dramatically while still being informational and educational.

In his book Ethnodrama, professor John Saldana of Arizona State University defines an ethnodrama as follows:

 An ethnodrama consists of dramatized, significant selections of
 narrative collected through interviews, participant observation
 field notes, journal entries, and/or print and media artifacts such
 as diaries, television broadcasts, newspaper articles, and court
 proceedings. Simply put, this is dramatizing the data.

With this in mind, Vaqueeros becomes an ethnodrama in which Latino culture and Latino sexuality are presented from a male perspective, and an attempt is made to break the stereotypes of "machismo" and, at the same time, to define what "gay" means in different cultural settings.

Vaqueeros was written with the purpose of answering one question: If men have sex with other men, are they gay and do they need to come out? As the characters reveal themselves to the audience and illuminate different definitions of what "gay" means in different cultural settings, the original question starts to vanish and a more nuanced conclusion begins to appear: we are all different and we all do different things for different reasons, so let it be.

Aside from the amusing moments the author sets up between two characters, Carlos and Juan, who seem to be both as different and as similar as possible, he creates a work in which actors are able to "play" with fantasy, reality, and time. By breaking the fourth wall, stepping in and out of character, introducing themselves as actors, and placing the interviewees among the audience (drawing upon its empathy), the author presents a world where the audience is constantly aware that what they are watching is a play. Even though it might be funny, sad, and/or horrifying, the fact of the matter is that the people presented on the stage are living, breathing human beings who move among us every day and who could be sitting next to you.

The author's approach to the play uses a specific style introduced by Bertolt Brecht in the 1900s: always making sure the audience understands they are watching a play and that emotions, although important, are secondary to the play's message. Such an approach has been used with great effect by many American playwrights, most notably Moises Kauffman.

If the author of Vaqueeros were to be asked if the purpose of the play is to shock you, inform you, entertain you, involve you emotionally, or make you aware, the author most likely would answer "yes and no" to every single aspect. He wrote the play as a means to understand a certain group of Latino men in relation to their sexual practices. The author hopes to inform you and make you aware and also to entertain you and get you emotionally involved in the work without losing the message. Only the audience may judge whether he is successful.

CHARACTERS

The play is written for six male actors. The roles are broken down as follows:

ACTOR 1: Carlos

ACTOR 2: Narrator 1, Stranger 1, Compadre 1, Mauricio, Older Brother, and Oscar.

ACTOR 3: Narrator 2, Stranger 2, Compadre 2, Tony, Father, and Angel.

ACTOR 4: Dr. Sandoval, Sal, Pedro, Cousin, Rogelio, and Javier

ACTOR 5: Club Owner, Juan, Fernando, Victor, and Daniel

ACTOR 6: Enrique, Cristobal, Compadre 3, Gustavo, Luis, and Temo

TIME AND PLACE

Phoenix, Arizona, and surrounding areas. The present.

SET

An open stage where, if scenery is needed, it is left to the director's discretion and the designer's imagination.

LIGHTS AND SOUND

The play has no blackouts except on page 202. However, transition lights, music, and sound effects are essential for a successful production. Transition means a lighting change to indicate a different location. Characters can move from one location to the next as they talk.

A phone rings.

DANIEL: Hello!

CARLOS: Hola, Daniel, habla Carlos.

DANIEL: Hey, man! What's up?

CARLOS: Not much. I'm just, um ... You know how I've been talking about a special school project ...

DANIEL: What project?

CARLOS: You know, the one about Latino gay men in the closet.

DANIEL: Oh, yeah. I kinda remember you said something about that.

CARLOS: Yeah, well ... I was wondering if you could help me.

DANIEL: Me? What do you mean?

CARLOS: I was thinking that perhaps you know a few people who ...

DANIEL: Me? Ah, no. I don't know anyone like that.

CARLOS: Oh.

DANIEL: I mean. Why are you asking me?

CARLOS: Well ... you, ah ...

DANIEL: What? Me, what?

CARLOS: Well, you, um ... The project has to do with men who have sex with men, and some of them are vaqueros, so ...

DANIEL: So you think because I'm sort of a vaquero, listen to banda music, and stuff like that I ...

CARLOS: Yeah. You know a lot of vaqueros. It's your circle. I thought you might know some of them who fit the profile.

DANIEL: No. I don't.

CARLOS: Oh. I thought you would ...

DANIEL: Carlos ... I'm just curious.

CARLOS: Yeah?

DANIEL: Why are you asking me?

CARLOS: Ah ... well ... you're a vaquero.

DANIEL: I know that. But why are you asking me?

CARLOS: I told you. You're a vaquero and you ...

DANIEL: Cut the bullshit, Carlos.

CARLOS: Well ... OK. I just think that ... maybe ... you fit the profile.

DANIEL: What do you mean?

CARLOS: You know what I mean.

DANIEL: No. No, I don't. What do you mean?

CARLOS: Well ... um ... you and I had talked about this kind of stuff before ... and ... um ... and you have a very close friend who ... um ...

DANIEL: I'm not gay.

CARLOS: I didn't say you were.

DANIEL: But you're insinuating it.

CARLOS: No. What I'm trying to say is ...

DANIEL: I know what you're trying to say, Carlos. I know exactly what you're trying to say.

CARLOS: Hello? Hello? Daniel? Shit!

Transition.

CARLOS: (Reading to the audience.) "None of us wants to be a fraud or to live a lie; none of us wants to be a sham, a phony. But the fears that we experience and the risks that honest self-communication would involve seem so intense to us that seeking refuge in our roles, masks, and games becomes an almost natural reflex action." From the book Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? by Father Joseph Powell, S. J.

NARRATOR 1: The material used in this play comes from several different interviews compiled by Carlos, the author of this play.

NARRATOR 2: If other sources are used, they will be cited accordingly.

NARRATOR 1: If the stories, situations, or characters in this play reflect anything or anyone you might know, you might have heard of, or you might have lived with, the author assures you, it's purely coincidental. (To CARLOS.) Really?

CARLOS: Yes!

NARRATOR 2: The interviews were done in English, Spanish, or both languages. They have been translated accordingly.

NARRATOR 1: And because the interviews were done with people living today, perhaps with a person that might be seated next to you, all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

NARRATOR 2: In short, the views and opinions expressed in this play are those of the individual speakers and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of this theater company, the producers, the playwright, the director, the actors, the technical crew, or any respective affiliate or employee.

ACTOR 4: According to Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia, homosexuality "refers to sexual and romantic attraction between individuals of the same sex."

ACTOR 5: The Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines homosexuality as the "erotic activity with another of the same sex."

ACTOR 6: The Encyclopedia Britannica describes homosexuality as "sexual interest in and attraction to members of one's own sex."

ACTOR 5: The current use of the term "homosexuality" has its roots in nineteenth-century Germany.

ACTOR 6: In the US, today's definition and understanding of the term "homosexuality" is highly influenced by very strong Western European views.

Transition.

CARLOS: Finally. I was about to leave.

JUAN: I'm only a couple of minutes late.

CARLOS: Fifteen minutes late, Juan. Not a couple of minutes late, but fifteen.

JUAN: I needed my time to look desirable.

CARLOS: We're just having lunch.

JUAN: The man of my dreams could be around here somewhere, and he might not be able to see me because I look like you.

CARLOS: Whatever.

JUAN: So, Papi, what's new in the wonderful world of graduate school?

CARLOS: I'm about to start my research project.

JUAN: Oh, yeah. That.

CARLOS: That? I'll have you know the research is very important. JUAN: If you say so.

CARLOS: Juan, doesn't it intrigue you there are many Latino men out there who are having sex with other men and they say nothing about it?

JUAN: No.

CARLOS: Oh, come on, Juan. When we go out to Karamba Club, and you see those Mexican vaqueros, wearing their cowboy boots, tight jeans, and their cowboy hats, driving those huge trucks, and listening to ranchera and banda music very loud, looking very macho and shit, driving around the gay club or picking up a drag queen, or going into Zarape Club, don't tell me you don't wonder.

JUAN: Not really. No.

CARLOS: Well, I do. It fascinates me. To see those men, looking so tough and so manly, and knowing they're having sex with other men, it's intriguing to me.

JUAN: Why?

CARLOS: I told you before. You know that some of those men are married and have children, but they still have sex with other men. I want to find out why they do what they do, why they don't accept who they are, and why they don't come out of the closet.

JUAN: And I told you before, I don't care.

CARLOS: I do. And I'm gonna find out.

JUAN: Fine with me. Now, can we order? I'm starving, girl.

Transition. A pool of light on DR. SANDOVAL, smoking a cigarette and having a drink.

DR. SANDOVAL: In my opinion. And these are not my theories because I didn't study them, but I believe in them. Tom, is Almaguer has talked about them and so has Ilan Stavans. Anyway, homosexuality is ... there's a lot ... homosexuality is cultural. The concept of homosexuality in Western European culture is quite different from the concept of homosexuality in Mexican and most Latin American cultures.

NARRATOR 1: Dr. Trino Sandoval, Ph.D. in Mexican cinema from Arizona State University and now a distinguished college professor.

NARRATOR 2: Dr. Sandoval expressed his opinions after Carlos directly asked him what his views were concerning sexual practices between two Mexican men, and about what Dr. Sandoval thought regarding people who classified Mexican men who are having sex with other men as "gay men."

DR. SANDOVAL: I'll give you an example, and Almaguer says this. In Western European cultures homosexuality is defined by your sexual choice. If you choose to be with a man, regardless of what you do, you are a homosexual. If I'm walking in downtown Phoenix, holding hands with a guy, I'm gay. If I choose to have anal sex with another man, I'm gay. It doesn't matter what I do, just because you are with a man, you're gay. You kiss another guy, you're gay. In Mexican culture, and other Latino countries, and especially in rural areas, it's what you do in bed that determines your homosexuality. Having sex with a man doesn't make me a homosexual. What makes me a homosexual is whether I'm the one receiving the sex or not.

Transition.

NARRATOR 2: Tempe, Arizona. January 27, 2006.

ACTOR 5: There are approximately thirty-four gay bars in the city of Phoenix. Out of the thirty-four, three of them cater to the gay Latino community: El Zarape, Paco Paco, and Karamba.

CARLOS: I went to one of them but the owner did not give me permission to interview anyone.

CLUB OWNER: Sorry, I have to protect my clients' privacy and well-being.

CARLOS: I only--want to ask a few questions. It's highly confidential.

CLUB OWNER: You're welcome to come in, pay your cover, and enjoy the night. But you can't ask questions.

ACTOR 4: Carlos will not make an attempt to come to that particular club until weeks later.

ACTOR 5: In the meantime, Carlos contacted friends and acquaintances who are gay but are not out of the closet.

ACTOR 4: He also contacted friends and acquaintances who know someone who is gay but still in the closet.

NARRATOR 2: Tempe, Arizona. February 5, 2006. The home of Enrique Valadez. Three-thirty p.m. A sunny but cool and comfortable afternoon.

NARRATOR 1: From Carlos's personal diary: "It was a sunny but cool and comfortable afternoon. Enrique doesn't live far from my own house, so instead of driving, I took my bike."

CARLOS: I was excited and nervous about having my first interview. Excited because I really wanted to start the project. Nervous because even though Enrique had agreed to talk to me, I wasn't sure if he was really going to do it. You see, nowadays talking about being gay is easy. But talking with a man who is Mexican, gay, and in the closet is not a conversation you easily bring out. Luckily, I have some outside help.

JUAN: (To the audience.) Girl, getting Enrique to talk to Carlos was easy. I mean, Enrique knows that I know that he knows, that I know, he's gay. He also knows that I know the few friends who know he's gay. So when I told him Carlos needed volunteers for his research, he had no choice. Well ... he had a choice. And he said yes. Not right away, though.

ENRIQUE: I don't know about this, Juan.

JUAN: Come on, Enrique. How many times have I done favors and covered up for you?

ENRIQUE: Are you sure it's OK to talk to him?

JUAN: Trust me. I know Carlos; he's OK.

ENRIQUE: Are you sure?

JUAN: Hellooooo! Would I lie to you?

ENRIQUE: Yes.

JUAN: (Melodramatic.) Oh. I know you did not say that! (Pause.) Put it this way, Enrique, the interview can serve you as free therapy.

ENRIQUE: Shut up!

JUAN: I'm not kidding.

Transition. ENRIQUE crosses to CARLOS.

ENRIQUE: Hi!

CARLOS: Hey! Thanks for meeting me.

ENRIQUE: Sure. You want something to drink?

CARLOS: No, thanks. I'm OK. Why don't we start? This form is for you. It says that everything you and I talk about is confidential and that you have the right to sue me if you feel I violated such right. There's my phone number. My mentor's phone number. And other school numbers just in case you need them.

ENRIQUE: OK.

CARLOS: Ready?

ENRIQUE: Yeah.

NARRATOR 1: Every interview had the same purpose but each interview varied in length and content based on the volunteer.

NARRATOR 2: But the one thing all the interviews had in common was the first question.

CARLOS: Do you consider yourself straight, gay, or bisexual?

Each member of the company appears in a different area.

ACTOR 5: Gay.

NARRATOR 1: (In Spanish.) Bisexual.

ACTOR 4: Straight.

NARRATOR 2: Gay.

ACTOR 5: Free-spirited.

NARRATOR 1: (In English.) Bisexual.

NARRATOR 2: !Derecho, ese!

ACTOR 4: Gay.

NARRATOR 1: Straight.

CARLOS: (To himself.) "Free-spirited"? (To the audience.) What the hell does that mean?

ACTOR 5: Straight.

ACTOR 4: Straight.

ENRIQUE: Gay.

CARLOS: But you're not out of the closet, right?

ENRIQUE: Only a few people know.

CARLOS: Does your family know?

ENRIQUE: It's complicated. I grew up in a very homophobic environment. My dad was born in Zacatecas and ... All his life he's been a very strict person. After all these years, he's not going to change.

CARLOS: But does he need to change for you to come out? I mean, the two of you work in the same place. How do you manage your life that way?

ENRIQUE: I'm not out at work. And it hasn't been easy. But I can handle it.

CARLOS: Do you have a boyfriend?

ENRIQUE: Yes. We've been going out for three years.

CARLOS: How do you manage the relationship?

ENRIQUE: It's hard. (Pause.) Just making sure I stay one step ahead of my family and everyone else is hard.

CARLOS: What do you mean?

ENRIQUE: The difficult thing is that I, ah, I have to keep my private life and my family life as separate as possible. But at the same time, both, my family and my boyfriend are part of my life. When my family asks if I have a girlfriend sometimes I tell them I don't have one and other times I tell them I do. When they ask about her, I tell them everything about him. (Laughs.) I play this game where I change the name of my boyfriend to a girl's name. Like, ah ... Marcos became Marci. Then Nick became Amanda. And now I'm with Marisela, whose real name is Mauricio.

CARLOS: Isn't it confusing?

ENRIQUE: Oh, yes. Last year the whole family went to Zacatecas and I had to be with them the entire time. I kept thinking, "I have to talk to my boyfriend.

I have to call Mauricio." But I couldn't say that. So I started saying that I needed to call "Marisela." That I needed to e-mail my girlfriend, that I needed to buy a present for her. After a while my mind was playing tricks with me, especially when I was very tired or, ah, drunk. I didn't even want to think about Mauricio anymore because I, ah, I, I couldn't keep the pronouns in order. Even now there are times when I just avoid talking about him because I'm afraid I'm going to slip.

CARLOS: (To the audience.) My gay friends and I always change our real names to female names, except that we do it for fun. It's like a game, you know? We have a friend whose name is Manuel, but we all call him "Debora" because, well, when he's making out with a guy, he's all over him. Parece que se lo esta comiendo. You know, devorandolo. Devouring him. So we call him Debora. (To ENRIQUE.) Do your parents want to meet your girlfriend?

ENRIQUE: All the time, but I always make something up. And when my dad has business parties, I ask girlfriends to be my dates. That way I cover my bases.

CARLOS: (To the audience.) My interview with Enrique didn't end right there. He had so much to say that for a moment I felt like I was being his therapist.

NARRATOR 1: Carlos wrote that as a personal entry in his diary on February 5, 2006, at 11:35 p.m. The same day he had his first interview.

NARRATOR 2: He also wrote:

CARLOS: Little did I know that the more people I interviewed, the more I felt like I was their therapist. And the more interviews I conducted, the more I started thinking I needed a therapist.

FERNANDO: Hi. My name is Fernando Lopez Ruiz. But everyone calls me Fer. I am the guy who told Carlos I'm free-spirited. I don't call myself straight, gay, or bisexual. I am a free-spirited person because to me sex is sex and well, I get it whenever, with whoever. I sleep with both men and women. And maybe for some people that makes me bisexual but I like to think of myself as free-spirited. It's no big deal. Sex is sex and no matter who the other person is, a man or a woman, you get the same result, know what I'm saying? I mean, when I go out, I don't go out looking for a man or a woman. I don't plan ahead what I am going to look for. I go out to have a good time. And if I meet someone, oh well, it happens regardless of the gender. I mean, it's all about connections. If I feel connected to someone, I go for it. And if that connection has more to offer, then maybe there's more there than sex. And it doesn't matter if that person is a man or a woman. That's why I like to call myself a "free-spirited" person, because it's all about connections.

A pool of light on DR. SANDOVAL.

DR. SANDOVAL: I have a big problem when people refer to Mexican males who are having sex with men as gay. They just generalize it by saying, "Oh, they're gay." No, "faggots." But that's not right because in Mexican culture if you choose to be with a man, it doesn't mean you're gay. It doesn't matter. As long as you are "the top." And there are men who are only tops, men who only fuck other men. Those men don't consider themselves gay. They're just fucking. To them it's just a sexual act with another guy. They are not gay.

Transition.

CARLOS: How can a man who's having sex with another man not be gay? How can a man who has sex with both men and women not be bisexual? I mean, I'm gay, so I have sex with other men. As simple as that. But with the men I'm interviewing everything becomes blurry and confusing. In my opinion, I think all these men are just afraid to truly accept who they are. They are afraid to come out, to be seen as something less than a "real man." In my opinion, they're in denial.

A phone rings.

CRISTOBAL: Hello?

CARLOS: Hi, Cristobal. It's Carlos.

CRISTOBAL: Oh, hi.

CARLOS: I was wondering if I could set a time to interview you.

CRISTOBAL: Ah ... when?

CARLOS: When are you available?

CRISTOBAL: How about tomorrow? Say, 10:00 a.m.?

CARLOS: Yes! That's perfect. What's your address?

Transition.

NARRATOR 1: Introducing Cristobal Gomez. A man in his early 40s, living in Glendale, Arizona.

JUAN: But before we introduce him, we need to set the stage.

CARLOS: Juan, what are you doing?

JUAN: Hold on, Carlos. Picture the scene. A wholesome married couple, living together since before being married ...

CARLOS: Juan ...

JUAN: Happily raising one son. Then, suddenly and out of the blue, the shit hits the fan.

CARLOS: (Stern.) JUAN!

JUAN: I'm only trying to lighten things up.

Transition.

NARRATOR 1: This is Salvador. We'll call him Sal. Sal has been dating Cristobal for about eight months now. Everything was going well until the night before.

SAL: (Into the phone.) I told ju, man, I don't know if ... Honestly, I love him very much ... Jez. Jez, and ju know that more than anyone else ... Oh, wait. He's here. I gotta go.

CRISTOBAL: Well, here I am.

SAL: Tanks for coming.

CRISTOBAL: Sure.

SAL: Ju want someting to drink?

CRISTOBAL: No.

SAL: I have jour favorite beer.

CRISTOBAL: Don't want any, thank you.

Silence.

SAL: How is jour day so far?

CRISTOBAL: What do you think, Sal? What do you think?

SAL: Ah ... About last night, I'm sorry.

CRISTOBAL: Not as sorry as I am.

SAL: I don't know what got into me.

CRISTOBAL: I tell you what got into you: You weren't thinking, you stupid idiot, SAL: I just wanted it to surprise ju.

CRISTOBAL: You sure surprised me and my wife.

SAL: I don't know she was gonna be tere.

CRISTOBAL: My birthday, Sal. What makes you think she wasn't gonna be there?

SAL: I'm sorry, OK. Shit, how many times I have to apologize?

Silence.

CRISTOBAL: You have no idea the kind of lies I have to come up with. How to explain the flowers, the chocolates, the champagne.

SAL: They are birthday presents.

CRISTOBAL: My wife isn't stupid, Sal. And neither are you. She recognized you right away.

SAL: She only saw me a couple of times.

CRISTOBAL: She saw you for three days in a row.

SAL: I built your kitchen. Eight months ago.

CRISTOBAL: You don't get it, do you? She saw you, last night, carrying flowers, chocolate, champagne. It doesn't take a genius.

SAL: I could ... I was delivering them.

CRISTOBAL: She knows, Sal.

SAL: Just from last night?

CRISTOBAL: I told her. I couldn't lie to her.

SAL: Wait! Ju been fucking me for last eight months behind her back and you can't lie to her last night?

CRISTOBAL: No. I couldn't.

SAL: So what now?

CRISTOBAL: It's over.

SAL: Ju don't mean that.

CRISTOBAL: Yes, I do, Sal. It's over. Whatever we have, it's over.

SAL: But I love ju.

CRISTOBAL: Don't say that.

SAL: I do. I love ju, and ju know it.

CRISTOBAL: And you knew that if it came to this, I would choose my family over you.

SAL: But I love ju.

CRISTOBAL: My family comes first.

SAL: Are ju sure?

CRISTOBAL: Definitely.

SAL: But ...

CRISTOBAL: Sorry, Sal. It's over.

Pool of light on CRISTOBAL.

CRISTOBAL: I care for Sal in a way I can't explain. I don't know what it is. But I care for him. When he came into my house to build the kitchen, there was something about him I found ... irresistible. Yeah, that's it: irresistible. I had never felt something like that for anyone, except my wife, of course, and this kid from back in college, but I never pursued him. But with Sal, I couldn't resist. I couldn't. I couldn't resist. But Sal was careless and my wife figured it out. She wanted me to leave her, but I love her. We built our lives together, struggled together. Built a home together. Our son, well, he's growing up and he's going to need me more than ever before. High school isn't easy, I know, I was there. I couldn't leave my wife, not for Sal, especially knowing she was pregnant again. For the second time in ten years she was pregnant again. I couldn't leave her. I had to make a choice. I chose them.

Transition. A doorbell rings.

SAL: (Offstage.) Coming! Coming! (Doorbell again.) I say I'm coming, !Dios mio! Tis better be important 'cause I'm cooking a very special meal and I need ...

CRISTOBAL: Hi.

SAL: Hey ... What, ah ...

CRISTOBAL: You painted the living room.

SAL: Jeah. What are ju doing here?

CRISTOBAL: Ummm. I wanted to see you.

SAL: Why?

CRISTOBAL: I, ah, I miss you.

SAL: A month ago ju left this place saying it was over. I missed ju a lot since then, but I knew better.

CRISTOBAL: Many times I picked up the cell phone and wanted to call you but ...

SAL: But...

CRISTOBAL: I ... I'm sorry.

SAL: Jeah, so am I.

CRISTOBAL: (Noticing the long spoon.) You're cooking?

SAL: Jeah. I have a friend coming over.

CRISTOBAL: A friend or a boyfriend?

SAL: I don't know jet.

Silence.

CRISTOBAL: I miss you, Sal. I miss you a lot.

SAL: Jeah, well ...

CRISTOBAL: I better go. It was wrong to come.

SAL: No! I mean, ju don't have to go.

CRISTOBAL: What about your ... friend?

SAL: He can wait.

CRISTOBAL: Are you sure?

SAL: The question is, can jour wife wait?

CRISTOBAL: I'm sure she can manage without me for a while.

Pool of light on CRISTOBAL.

CRISTOBAL: I don't know how to explain it. I love my wife and I love my children and I'd do anything for them. But I can't stop seeing Sal. I have tried, but I can't. You asked me how I feel about this situation and all I can say is ... is ... I'm gonna continue living like this until life decides otherwise.

Pool of light dissolves as CRISTOSAL transitions to a new scene.

CRISTOBAL: I can't believe you're asking me such a thing.

SAL: It's been a jear.

CRISTOBAL: And it has been a very good year.

SAL: Then why are ju surprised?

CRISTOBAL: Because your request is unreasonable.

SAL: I'm tired of being jour part-time lover.

CRISTOBAL: You knew what you were getting into from the very beginning. Don't act like you didn't know. Don't act like you have been victimized.

SAL: I am not acting like I'm victimized. I just want something better.

CRISTOBAL: What are you saying? Are you saying you want to stop this?

SAL: Maybe.

CRISTOBAL: IS that what you want?

SAL: Is that what ju want?

CRISTOBAL: I don't want that, but I also cannot give you more than what I'm giving you now. My wife and my children come first.

SAL: I will never be number one, will I?

CRISTOBAL: Sorry.

SAL: Ju better go.

CRISTOBAL: Are you sure? Because if I walk out that door, I won't come back looking for you.

Silence.

SAL: Adios, Cristobal.

Transition.

NARRATOR 1: Three weeks later Sal went looking for Cristobal.

NARRATOR 2: They talked. They argued. They fought.

NARRATOR 1: Two hours later, Cristobal was back at Sal's house.

NARRATOR 2: Three months later Cristobal was out of Sal's life once again.

NARRATOR 1: This "off and on again" relationship has been going on now for three and half years.

SAL: I go out with other guys all the time. But for some unknown reason, I keep going back to Cristobal.

CRISTOBAL: I don't know what it is, but the moment I say I won't see Sal again, I desire him more.

NARRATOR 2: Cristobal's wife has no idea what is going on. In her mind and heart, her husband ended whatever was going on with Sal long ago. Before Carlos finished the interview, he asked Cristobal one more question:

NARRATOR 1: Cristobal, are you happy?

CRISTOBAL: Happy? Am I happy? To tell you the truth, I don't know if I'm happy. But just so you know, this is the first time I've talked to someone about me and Sal ... It feels good to tell someone.

NARRATOR 1: From Carlos's personal entries and observations on his research:

NARRATOR 2: "I do not approve of any man or woman having an affair behind their lover's back. That's just wrong, and it hurts."

CARLOS: I know how much it hurts. And to see a married man having an affair with another man it's just ... Well, I just hope Cristobal's wife never finds out about Sal. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes.

Transition.

NARRATOR 1: In Mexico a "chichifo" is a man who in exchange for sexual favors, receives money and/or expensive presents as gifts. By definition, he's not a prostitute or a gay man, or at least he claims not to be.

NARRATOR 2: Most of these men have girlfriends and some are even married. They usually have well-defined bodies and are attractive, handsome men.

PEDRO: The majority of these men work as private dancers and strippers. When it comes to a sexual arrangement, the chichifo is the "active partner," the "top," the "dominating person," the "man."

NARRATOR 2: Many gay men "hire" these desirable straight men to fulfill a fantasy and a need, a need that ends up costing a lot of money, and at times a broken heart.

Transition.

NARRATOR 1: Phoenix, Arizona. February 22, 2006. Downtown. A popular Mexican restaurant located just a few yards from a twenty-four-screen multiplex.

CARLOS: I don't quite understand what you're saying.

PEDRO: You want me to be explicit?

CARLOS: Sure.

PEDRO: Es facil de entender, man. Fags worship my body; they like to look at it. They like to touch it. They like to suck me. They like it when I fuck them, so I luck them.

CARLOS: You luck them?

PEDRO: Why are you whispering, man? Who's gonna hear you? This place is fuckin' dead right now. And yeah, I fuck them. I'm the top. Always the top.

CARLOS: Always.

PEDRO: Yeah! Always!

CARLOS: But you also have sex with women, right?

PEDRO: Simon.

CARLOS: So you're bisexual.

PEDRO: No, man. Bisexuals fall in love with men and women. That's just weird. I don't like guys that way.

CARLOS: So to you bisexuality has to do with falling in love with men and women?

PEDRO: Yeah.

CARLOS: So you have sex with men but you don't feel anything for them?

PEDRO: Now you getting it, man.

CARLOS: Do you have a girlfriend?

PEDRO: Simon.

CARLOS: Does she know you sleep with men?

PEDRO: Fuck, no! She would get all weird and shit.

CARLOS: Do the guys you have sex with know you have a girlfriend?

PEDRO: One does.

CARLOS: Does he care?

PEDRO: Nah. I mean, look at me. Would you care if I was having sex with you and I had a girlfriend?

Silence.

CARLOS: So, how often do you get together with guys?

PEDRO: I don't know. Whenever.

CARLOS: Any guy you see regularly? For sex, I mean.

PEDRO: Not really. There's a couple of fags. They come over and we do stuff and shit.

CARLOS: The three of you?

PEDRO: No, man. ?Como crees?

CARLOS: So, what do you do?

PEDRO: Whatever they want but getting fucked.

CARLOS: You mean you. Right?

PEDRO: Simon.

CARLOS: Do they pay you for it?

PEDRO: Fifty bucks or a present or something nice.

CARLOS: How do you find these guys? You go to gay clubs?

PEDRO: Actually, one of the guys is my neighbor and the other one I met at a bus stop.

CARLOS: Your neighbor?

PEDRO: Yeah. I know him since we were kids.

CARLOS: What?

PEDRO: I ... we live in the same street since we, urn, you know ... since we were kids.

CARLOS: And you have sex with him?

PEDRO: Yeah. He comes over. We do it.

CARLOS: How about other guys? Where do you meet them?

PEDRO: Anywhere. Parks, bailes, straight bars, parties. You know, anywhere. It just happens.

CARLOS: It doesn't happen to me.

PEDRO: That's 'cause you don't look hard enough, man. They're there, man.

They all want sex and they will get it when it's available.

CARLOS: So, you have sex with these guys and they pay you. Wouldn't that make you a prostitute?

PEDRO: What? Are you calling me a whore?

CARLOS: Well ...

NARRATOR 1: Dr. Gerardo Guiza Lemus, a Mexican scholar from the Universidad Autonoma de Mexico, described the difference between a prostitute and a chichifo as follows:

NARRATOR 2: "A prostitute is a person who charges for his services and afterwards leaves with a clean conscience while a chichifo spends his days extorting others without giving anything in return."

CARLOS: (To the audience.) So, according to Dr. Guiza Lemus, I was not calling Pedro a prostitute. (To PEDRO.) No] I didn't mean it that way.

PEDRO: Good! Because I am not a prostitute. I just have sex with men and that's all.

CARLOS: Are you safe when you do these things?

PEDRO: Of course, man. I don't wanna get SIDA and shit like that.

CARLOS: Do you get tested for STDs and HIV?

PEDRO: Sure. I'm clean.

CARLOS: Have you ever encountered a man who wanted to do you?

PEDRO: Hell, yeah! I remember one particular time. It got crazy.

Transition. A flashback.

STRANGER 1: Come on, man. It's my turn.

PEDRO: What?

STRANGER 1: You know. Do you. Let me fuck you.

PEDRO: I don't do that, man.

STRANGER 1: What do you mean, you don't do that? We all do.

PEDRO: I don't. I'll fuck you but you won't luck me. That was the deal.

STRANGER 1: Yeah? Well, I feel like fucking you, man.

PEDRO: Sorry.

STRANGER 1: (Angry.) What do you mean, "sorry?"

PEDRO: Hey, take it easy, asshole.

STRANGER 1: Who you calling "asshole," faggot?

PEDRO: I don't need this shit, OK?

A fight ensues. Transition. The present.

CARLOS: Did you really beat him up?

PEDRO: You bet. He started acting all tough and shit. But look at me, man. I work out. I'm strong. I'm all muscles. I beat him up, beat him up real good. And then I came all over him.

CARLOS: What?

PEDRO: You know. (He does the masturbation gestures with his hand.) I came and pissed all over him, and left him there.

CARLOS: You left him there?

PEDRO: It wasn't my home.

CARLOS: Sounds ... ah ... kind of violent.

PEDRO: Violent? Shift That's nothing. I bet he's into that shit, anyway. Besides, he started it. That's what he got.

CARLOS: Whoa!

Silence.

PEDRO: So ... do you?

CARLOS: Do I what?

PEDRO: You know ... (Groping himself) You want to?

CARLOS: What? No! I don't. I mean, I can't. I can't get involved with the subjects... I mean volunteer's ... with the people I'm interviewing.

PEDRO: Hey, relax, man. If we hook up no one will know. Just you and me.

CARLOS: Ah. No, thanks. It's not a good idea.

PEDRO: You don't know what you missing, man. Puro chile de Chihuahua.

CARLOS: (To the audience.) I must confess that up to now, all the interviews have been very illuminating. I also have to confess that if I had met Pedro before our interview, I would have ... I would have ... I mean, look at him, He's a mount of pure muscle. He might be from Chihuahua but I'm sure he doesn't have a little Chihuahua in his pants. Oh, my God! I can't believe I just said that.

Transition. A pool of light on DR. SANDOVAL.

DR. SANDOVAL: In the United States, if you were to map the male body in a sexual act with another man it's usually the action from the "mouth to the penis." It is the most predominant one, uh, so, if men are in the street and they see another man and want to be mean to him they usually say, "Hey, cocksucker." Um, and that implies mouth to penis. Young kids when horse-playing with other young kids, they, um, grab their heads and start to push it down to the penis, saying, "Suck it." It's about sucking, cocksucking. In Mexico it isn't mouth to penis but penis to butt. So instead of grabbing your head when horseplay happens and pushing it to their penis, they grab your ass and try to hump you. In the United States it's mouth to penis, but in Mexico it's penis to butt. So, yes. Our attitudes toward homosexuality are different.

Transition. A private party. Three COMPADRES talking to the audience as if talking to CARLOS.

COMPADRE 1: No, no. I am married.

COMPADRE 2: Me too, just like my compadre.

COMPADRE 3: I'm the only one that's not married.

COMPADRE 2: Yeah, but your girlfriend has you whipped.

COMPADRE 1" You're a mandilon, compadre. D'eso no hay duda.

Laughter.

COMPADRE 2: I'm happily married and have four kids.

COMPADRE 1: I have three. My oldest girl is sixteen.

COMPADRE 2: And my oldest son is seventeen.

COMPADRE 3: I don't have any children. That I know of.

Laughter.

COMPADRE 3: I tell you this. I never thought of sex as a bad thing.

COMPADRE 2: And if it is, we're fucked.

COMPADRE 1: We're going to hell.

They laugh. They toast.

COMPADRE 2: To hell!

COMPADRE 3: To hell!

COMPADRE 1: !Salud, compadres!

ALL: !Salud!

They drink.

COMPADRE 3: Here's a question for the two of you. Did you ever think about what would happen if any of your children turn out to be gay?

COMPADRE 2: What?

COMPADRE 1: I do nothing. I have no sons.

COMPADRE 2: I wouldn't care.

COMPADRE 3: YOU wouldn't care?

COMPADRE 2: No. If he comes to me and says, "Dad, I'm gay," I wouldn't care.

COMPADRE 3: And if any of your daughters turn out a lesbian, compadre?

COMPADRE 1: I don't think I'd care, either.

COMPADRE 3: Good.

COMPADRE 2: To our children, then.

COMPADRE 1: Por los hijos.

COMPADRE 3: For the children, even though I have none. That I know of.

A pool of light on FERNANDO.

FERNANDO: I care. I don't want my son to be gay. I want him to be completely straight and get married and have kids, and ... you know ... do what society expects of him. I mean, I don't want him to go through the shit many of us have gone through, know what I mean? I don't want him to have the emotional problems I had ... or have. I mean, I guess he could talk to me and I could guide him but I don't want him to be gay. I was lucky not to get involved in drugs and shit like that 'cause I know that I would have not come out of them at all. It's depressing. Gay people don't have a very happy life. So, no. I don't want my son to be gay. I want him to be a very happy straight man.

Pool of light out. Back to COMPADRES.

COMPADRE 3: No, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't think we're doing anything wrong. Right, compadres?

COMPADRE 1: Right.

COMPADRE 3: I mean, just because they're married and I will be married and we sleep with other men doesn't mean we're doing something wrong.

COMPADRE 2: Are you judging us, Carlos?

COMPADRE 1: That's not right.

COMPADRE 3: Because we don't care that you're out and you let everyone know you're gay.

COMPADRE 1: Yeah. No nos importa.

COMPADRE 2: And I don't think there's a rule that says we need to be out or be gay in order to have sex with other men. Is there?

COMPADRE 3: No. I don't think there is.

COMPADRE 1: There's no rule anywhere about that.

COMPADRE 2: Good. I was beginning to worry.

COMPADRE 3: Really?

COMPADRE 2: No.

Laughter.

COMPADRE 1: You know, este mandilon is going to get married in a year.

COMPADRE 3: No me lo recuerde, compadre. Please.

COMPADRE 2: What? Like you don't want to? You going to get all the money and all those stores they have all over the city.

COMPADRE 1: You know "El Gallo" stores, Carlos? Well, they all belong to his girlfriend's father. And guess who gets part of the cake when he marries her?

COMPADRE 2: He does.

COMPADRE 3: Yeah, yeah. OK. Maybe I won't marry her.

COMPADRE 1: What? Are you gonna come out?

Laughter.

COMPADRE 1: Hey, I'm out of beer. Anyone want another?