Aging Gracefully. (Books).

Davis, Susan E.

Perfect Mondays

by Stanley E. Ely

Painted Leaf Press. 271 pages, $15.95

Fear of aging in our society is such that you can't pick up a newspaper, watch a TV sitcom, buy a birthday card, or look in the mirror without confronting the fact that you're getting older. Even though the civil rights movement, feminism, and the struggle for GLBT liberation have helped shift some stereotypes, those about aging seem more deeply entrenched than ever. And nowhere is this more true than in the gay male community--so it's refreshing to read a novel about a middle-aged gay man who finds a way to grow older with grace, pleasure, and optimism.

That doesn't mean Greg Fine, the main character in Stanley E. Ely's Perfect Mondays, has it made. The single, Jewish, 56year-old New Yorker, transplanted from Ohio, struggles to find sex and love, achievement as a playwright, and meaningful connection with elderly parents--all this while giving up smoking and participating in a mixed (mostly straight) therapy group that meets on Monday nights (hence the title).

Because the author chooses to plunk Greg into a bumpy therapy group for a hefty portion of the book, the character isn't coddled or idealized. Although Greg can at times be annoyingly cranky, especially while quitting nicotine, he comes across as a talented, ambitious, caring guy who's searching for sexual and emotional connection even while choosing to live alone.

Greg does the things many older men do, like falling for a gorgeous younger man: Frank, an actor who's working as a trainer at Greg's gym. Though the two do consummate Greg's lust (the obligatory sex scene), Frank, predictably enough, is emotionally unavailable. But he doesn't just play a walk-on role. Frank helps Greg quit smoking and garners acclaim as one of the leads in Greg's Off-Off-Broadway play. And they have a real friendship, not just a roll in the hay. When Greg hooks up with Mel, an older Jewish actor and the other lead in Greg's play (whose partner recently died of AIDS), the reader keeps hoping that Mel will fit Greg's bill. But there's no happily-ever-after to be had, at least not in the romance department. Greg's successes are more modest, but they're meaningful ones--insights about himself and others gained in therapy and in the company of friends.

Greg may not get the guy, but his buoyant self-confidence and desire to live life to the fullest are gifts in themselves. We know that Greg won't stop searching for Mr. Right. Nor will he stop writing plays, finding new creative outlets, or making friends. This is the inspiration the book offers, and that's what makes Perfect Mondays a suitable antidote to the fear of aging.

Susan E. Davis, formerly the Book Editor of New Directions for Women magazine, is a journalist and author based in New York.