Working with men in individual psychotherapy from an integrity model perspective: the unsung heroes.
Nahon, Danielle ; Lander, Nedra R.
For over four decades, there has been a continuing thread in the
literature emphasizing the unique challenges and impasses in
psychotherapy with men. For example, Rochlen's (2005) review of the
literature indicates that many studies point to the difficult hurdles
facing therapists working with men (or potential male clients), most
particularly the incongruity between the "culture of therapy and
the rules (cultures) of masculinity" (p. 628). Rochlen points to
the discrepancies between (a) "ideal clients" who are able to
express their emotions, feel at ease with being vulnerable, and ask for
help, and (b) "men's socialization process as one that
promotes the avoidance of emotional expression, the absence of weakness
or vulnerabilities, and the need to solve problems without the help of
others" (Rochlen, 2005, p. 628). Similarly, Ogrodniczuk and Oliffe
(2009) suggest that therapists must address men's gender role
constraints that impeded their viable engagement in therapy. Good,
Thomson and Brathwaite (2005) indicate that entering therapy means
becoming willing to seek assistance, expressing one's
vulnerabilities, and surrendering a sense of control, which may conflict
with what men had learned to do earlier on. Consequently, men may be
resistant to developing working relationships with therapists by
"avoiding entering therapy, by being stoic, or by acting out in
order to unconsciously prevent or sabotage an emotional bond. Men are
also likely to have less experience and fewer skills associated with
understanding and expressing their vulnerable emotions (Good,
1998)" (Good, Thomson & Brathwaite, 2005, p. 701).
CHALLENGING THE "MYTH OF THE EMOTIONALLY DEFECTIVE MALE"
Nahon and Lander's (2008, 2011) reviews of the literature on
psychotherapy with men indicate that a number of authors have identified
a negative bias in the attitudes of therapists towards men in therapy.
For example, as previously discussed (Nahon & Lander, 2008, 2011),
Heesacker and Prichard (1992) suggested that such phrases in the
literature as "restrictive emotionality" and "fear of
intimacy" characterize a "flawed emotion" (p. 276) view
of men, creating a portrayal of men characterized by "psychological
defectiveness" or "denigration of the essence of men" (p.
277). Lander and Nahon (2008a) suggested that positive qualities of
character in men, for example honour and integrity, seldom mentioned in
the literature on psychotherapy in general (du Plock, Lander &
Nahon, 2008; Hoffman, 2005) and in working with men, provide fundamental
resources in men's therapeutic work and in reaching men across
individual and cultural differences. Nahon and Lander (1998) referred to
this negative and devaluing view of men as the "myth of the
emotionally defective male" (p. 16).
Nahon and Lander (2011) indicate that the notion of men's
purported difficulties in help-seeking and emotional relatedness stems
back to early research, beginning with Jourard and Landsman's
(1960) research on self-disclosure in men. Although this early work is
subject to a number of serious methodological limitations, it is cited
in virtually all early writings on male gender role strain and has
shaped the literature's understanding of men's emotionality.
There has been little change in the portrayal of the deficit model of
male emotionality. "Reviewing the earliest writings, some of these
pioneering therapists' initial clinical observations remain highly
relevant today" (Wade & Good, 2010, p. 273). Nahon and Lander
(1992) suggested that this pejorative view of men may have created a
self-fulfilling prophecy "in that the measured behavior of help
seeking may ultimately reflect the attitudes of health professionals
rather than those of potential male help seekers" (p. 413, emphasis
in original). Nahon and Lander (2008) stated:
Our experiences invite researchers and therapists working with men
to reflect on the possibility of a figure-ground reversal. What
would the picture look like if we were to ask not what men cannot
do, but rather what men can do in the arenas of help-seeking and
utilization of group therapeutic services, and what our roles and
stewardship can be in facilitating this process, offering new
encouragement for therapists to dare to reach out to the men in
need of help in their communities? (p. 232, emphasis in original)
A MORE HOPEFUL VIEW OF MEN'S CAPACITY FOR HELP-SEEKING AND
EMOTIONAL EXPRESSIVENESS
In parallel with the literature's focus on the constraints
facing therapists who work with men, results of empirical and clinical
research over the last four decades has shown men's positive
response to a values-based Integrity model of psychotherapy. For
example, Nahon and Lander (1992, 2008) found that the Integrity
model--an existential, values-based approach, provided a viable
theoretical vehicle for the design and implementation of a tertiary care
group treatment program for men grappling with relationship issues,
resulting in a three-month waiting list of self-referred men. Results of
the first randomized empirical investigation of men's
consciousness-raising groups and gender role re-evaluation psychotherapy
groups for men (Nahon & Lander, 2010) revealed significant changes
in emotional expression, self- and other-orientation, and psychological
well-being for men dealing with marital separation, maintained at
six-week follow-up. Key values inherent in the Integrity-based
therapeutic approach were: (a) the positive view of men and their ease
of access to a viable emotional voice; (b) the use of a
non-pathologizing therapeutic approach in both program design and
implementation; and (c) the use of an existential, Integrity-based
therapeutic approach in the design and implementation of the group
treatment program. The Integrity model has been shown to provide a
viable approach in working with men in community practice, tertiary care
and academic settings across a wide spectrum of issues including: (a)
relationship issues and marital breakdown (Nahon & Lander, 1992,
2008, 2010); (b) post-traumatic stress (Lander & Nahon, 2005, 2010a;
Nahon & Lander, 2012); (c) work-related stress (Lander & Nahon,
2008a, 2010a); (d) severe mental illness, and addictions (Lander &
Nahon, 2005, 2008b); (e) cultural diversity and gender orientation
(Lander & Nahon, 2005, 2008b); (f) finding harmony between work and
home life (Lander & Nahon, 2011a, 2011b); (g) spirituality (Lander
& Nahon, 2000b; 2010a, 2010b); and (h) end of life issues (Lander
& Nahon, 2010a, 2010b) through individual, couple, and group
psychotherapy (Nahon & Lander, 2013).
Our review of the literature points to a dearth of published
articles that examine individual psychotherapy with men. Good and
Robertson (2010) address ways in which therapists can address the
"daunting tasks" (p. 306) that therapists face with reference
to both (a) men seeking therapeutic help, and (b) once men do present
for therapy, to "get them to trust therapists sufficiently enough
to share their issues and to form an effective working alliance"
(p. 306). Through the use of a case study, they offer the metaphor of
the good therapist as the good pilot who "demonstrates that he can
help a captain successfully navigate some challenging psychological
waters" (p. 313), and thus is more likely to be consulted in the
future by the male client-as-captain. Schermer (2013) proposes narrative
therapy as an alternative approach for counsellors to work with men. He
suggests that counsellors should "take special considerations for
the narrating of men's problem-saturated stories, externalizing
men's issues, challenging masculine metaphors, and constructing a
unique masculine team" (p.136) in order to implement this approach
with men.
Two recent studies have considered a more positive perspective
towards men and masculinities, comprising a shift that is more congruent
with Nahon and Lander's Integrity-based work with men. Kiselica and
Englar-Carlson (2010) suggest that "the [New Psychology of Men]
model has largely emphasized deficit models of male development 22and a
remedial approach to psychotherapy that is designed to help men recover
from the damaging effects of constricted masculinity" (p. 276).
They summarize what they term a new perspective for "a positive
psychology of boys and men, which accentuates positive aspects of
masculinity, male development, and the male socialization process, and
the application of positive psychology principles in psychotherapy with
boys and men" (p. 277) and encourage other therapists and
researchers to "develop and refine an approach to studying and
helping boys and men that is based on male strengths" (p. 285).
Hammer and Good (2010) found that the endorsement of traditional
male norms in Western society such as risk-taking and seeking greater
status were associated with higher autonomy, endurance, courage and
resilience. In contrast, they found that conformity to norms including
self-reliance and pursuing status were associated with lower levels of
courage, personal control, grit, autonomy and resilience, and call for
qualitative studies that further explore these variables. They suggest
that "there is some utility in continuing to explore the healthy
aspects of traditional masculinity" (p. 314) and that this
increased knowledge may enhance the "appeal and utility of
counseling for more therapy-resistant men ... and respond to the call of
positive psychology to acknowledge and consider the utility of a
strengths-based, gender-sensitive approach with men" (p. 314).
The current article addresses this call in furthering the focus on
a strengths-based and gender-sensitive approach in working with men.
Through the use of three clinical case studies of men in individual
psychotherapy in both tertiary care and private practice settings, this
paper will offer both a theoretical and a clinical exploration of the
Integrity model--an existential, values-based theoretical approach in
working with men in individual psychotherapy.
PHILOSOPHICAL UNDERPINNINGS: THE INTEGRITY MODEL
As we have previously discussed, expanding on O.H. Mowrer's
Integrity (Therapy) Group approach, formulated from the mid-1940s to the
mid-80s, Lander and Nahon have evolved the Integrity model which offers
the first wellness and value-based model of psychotherapy (e.g., Lander
& Nahon, 1992, 1995, 2000a, 2005; Mowrer, 1953. 1961, 1964, 1966,
1970; Mowrer & Vattano, 1976). This model is based on the assumption
that the human being is a valuing animal; its basic inviolate principle
is that the degree of distress or angst in one's life reflects the
degree of personal violation of one's very own values (Nahon &
Lander, 2013).
Integrity is operationally defined as a three-legged stool: (a)
Honesty means being open and truthful about one's feelings, and
acknowledging past or present wrongdoings; (b) responsibility means
taking 100% ownership of one's 50% in conflict situations; and (c)
emotional closure refers to the intent of any actions as "closing
the psychological space" or increasing one's sense of
community with self and others. This concept of community really is
about relational attachments. Integrity requires all three components to
be present in order for Integrity to exist at a given time in a given
context. Hence any interaction (verbal or behavioural), any decision by
a person, institution, or government, any product or service can be
analysed as to its level of Integrity by the presence or absence of the
three components (Nahon & Lander, 2012).
Stress and distress are understood as reflecting a clash of values,
and an Integrity crisis as occurring when any one of the three
components of Integrity--honesty, responsibility and emotional
closure/community--are absent. Guilt comprises a critical component of
the Integrity model. We see it as arising from the violation of
one's values and their discrepancies with one's actual deeds
done rather than feared. What psychotherapy calls for is not new or
different values, but rather for an increased fidelity to one's
present values (Lander & Nahon, 2000a, 2000b; Nahon & Lander,
2012, 2013).
THE INTEGRITY MODEL IN WORKING WITH MEN IN THERAPY
Mowrer's early community-based Integrity groups from the late
1960s to the mid-80s with men grappling with addictions and relational
crises, as well as with impaired male physicians revealed that men were
profoundly self-aware, expressive and insightful (Mowrer, 1953, 1964).
Results of the current authors' empirical and clinical
investigations for over four decades beginning with Lander's group
work with boys in the mid-60s (Lander, 1986) indicate that men have been
receptive to this therapeutic approach that honours men's innate
sense of wisdom, morality, relationality and Integrity as key
therapeutic resources--challenging the "myth of the emotionally
defective male" (e.g., Lander & Nahon, 2011a; Nahon &
Lander, 1992, 2013).
As we have previously discussed, the Integrity model is perhaps the
only true existential therapeutic framework both in terms of substance
and form. It does not merely deal with existential issues--it is
existential. The existential framework emphasizes the uniqueness of
individuals, their values, and the search for meaning in their lives
(Coleman, 1976). Following its existential basis, the Integrity model
views the process of therapy as being unique to each individual and to
each context, and thus as one which cannot be "manualized"--in
other words, cannot be presented in a cookbook approach. The Integrity
model stresses the client's equality to the therapist, and the
client's role in the therapeutic process (Lander & Nahon, 1992,
1995). The process of change in therapy is seen as being the task and
responsibility of the individual in therapy, rather than that of the
therapist. The aim of Integrity-based psychotherapy is to challenge
individuals to examine and enhance their level of Integrity within their
relationships with both self and others, being sensitive to the context
in which they occur. Each situation and each individual is viewed as
unique and the level of Integrity of each encounter is viewed as
reflecting the existential moment. There is no Integrity jargon, no
"Integrity-speak". The Integrity model asks that the therapist
use the language of the other, rather than have the other learn the
therapeutic jargon. Rather than using an artificial lexicon and
destroying individuals' own voices by asking them to adopt the
voice of the therapist, the Integrity model adopts everyday simple
language in the context of therapy (Lander & Nahon, 2000b).
Case Examples
Francois, Mark and Peter--three men from very different walks of
life--were seen for brief individual psychotherapy. We feel that these
three men represent the men who have crossed our thresholds, and whom we
see as the unsung heroes facing crises of alienation and in search for
meaning through their identities as men.
Francois. Francois, a former Catholic priest in his late 70s,
presented to the hospital emergency room with a severe suicide attempt.
He related that he had been sexually abused by a female superior in the
Church when he was a young priest; the abuse lasted several decades. For
many years, Francois had been plagued with a sense of guilt about the
abuse. Despite the numerous Novenas and other prayers of absolution that
he was asked to recite, he had been unable to experience a sense of
atonement.
Francois had resigned from the priesthood rather than retiring as a
priest, as he felt that he had been unable to walk the talk. He felt
alienated, abandoned, and with a sense of loss of his religion and of
his colleagues who could not understand his leaving the priesthood.
Francois found himself in a moral dilemma, because he had believed in a
G-d from whom he now felt alienated in terms of his religious
affiliation and his transgressions, but with whom he still felt a
personal connection; he found himself in a no-man's land where the
only solution was to leave, propelling him into the existential abyss.
For a Catholic priest, or even a former priest, to contemplate suicide
was almost unthinkable, as it is one of the most egregious acts
according to his religious values; for Francois, the suicide attempt
comprised an ultimate sign of his despairing anger.
Francois explored the fact that, from an Integrity model
perspective, his symptomatology reflected the moral dilemma of a clash
of values and a conflict between his values and his behaviours. Francois
really liked this as a clear and profound paradigm which provided him
with (a) an understanding of why he had gotten into trouble within
himself resulting in his current untenable crisis and (b) a new roadmap
for the work of repair and healing needed in order to resolve his
crisis.
As Francois explored the Integrity issues that he was facing in his
current life, he related that although embarrassed to articulate this in
talking with a (then) young lady, he could acknowledge that sex was
still important and highly valued for him. Francois was relieved and
delighted when I (second author) affirmed the fact that although he may
be older, he was certainly not dead, and therefore he could still find a
way to honour these values in his current life. Marguerite was a widow
who had a very active and supportive social network. Their relationship
began to flourish. Francois found a new religious home in a Protestant
sect; the pastor's teachings resonated with him and he felt a new
sense of community and belonging. Also, Marguerite was quite religious.
Francois felt that he had to walk the talk and convert in order to marry
her, and proceeded to do both. However, a new wrinkle occurred in their
relationship; Francois developed erectile dysfunction. He realized that
in his past sexual relationship with his abuser, there had been a highly
erotic appeal to the secrecy and to the risk of being found out. In his
current consensual sexual relationship, there was a lack of excitement
and so he found himself unable to perform.
Francois was able to see that he was now involved in a loving and
mutually caring relationship, and that sex when not "on
demand" had its own comfort and allure; he was able to reclaim his
sexuality in tandem with his spiritual and psychological journey of
healing, and at last, was able to live a meaningful life.
Mark. Mark's case provides an interesting counterpoint to
Francois'. Mark was a successful professional in his late 40s. A
father of two young adult children and a long-standing member of
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) with 20 years' sobriety, Mark had been
separated from his wife for three years. After the separation, Mark felt
socially isolated and faced an empty nest.
Mark related that he had dated quite a few women since his
separation, but found that the relationships had never worked out. He
had often been drawn to women whom he described as "controllable as
they needed rescuing." He reported panic attacks in recent years,
leading to hospitalization to rule out cardiac involvement. Mark
disclosed a history of intermittent premature ejaculation. He had seen a
sex therapist once who gave him exercises and lotions, but the premature
ejaculation continued to be a problem.
Mark's goals for therapy were to gain a sense of control over
his feelings of anxiety, and to explore how to have healthy
relationships. He said that although he found A A helpful and had
long-standing sobriety, he was looking for a greater depth of help in
addressing his current problems and sense of crisis. Mark found that the
Integrity model opened the door for him to begin exploring his role in
his relationships with women and whether he was being true to his
values; he realized that he was a "people-pleaser".
Mark was invited to articulate his values as a man of honour; he
characterized this as being someone who keeps his word, is trustworthy,
dependable, kind versus cruel and petty, has inner strength and
self-confidence, and stands up for his values. A key part of Mark's
Integrity work was his decision to implement these values in his
relationships with women, via kindness and inner strength. At the next
session, he related that upon reflection, he no longer valued success
and doing well at work as top values, focusing instead on relationships
and on enjoying life more.
Mark acknowledged that he did not show his emotions much of the
time and would like to learn to do this. He poignantly revealed that as
a child, he had endured bullying at school, and that his mother's
advice had been to "keep on smiling."
Mark decided that he would work on no longer wearing a mask, as he
could see that the price he had paid for wearing it had been too high.
Mark discovered that contrary to his own mythology about his emotional
inexpressiveness, he had in fact been very emotionally expressive and
involved over the past 20 years.
Mark entered into in a new relationship with Mary which was
different from all previous relationships. He could see that prior to
this, he had been drawn to women whom he described as having been more
flirtatious than he felt comfortable with, because he felt that there
was safety in the fact that they were emotionally unstable and needy.
With Mary, Mark had a new I-Thou relationship (Buber, 1970; Lander &
Nahon, 2005; Nahon & Lander, 2008); he was sincere and real, and
felt more at ease with this way of being with another.
Mark could now see that in his marriage, he had been "strong
and silent" when upset. He began to discuss his sexual dysfunction,
and to note that he had not been able to perform sexually when the
sexual connection was not coupled with an emotional connection, and he
understood that this reflected a clash of values for him.
Mark reported feeling deeply disappointed when he was told by Mary
that she really did not want to get involved, and was not attracted to
him. He was invited to own the sense of rage and outrage behind the
disappointment (Lander & Nahon, 2005, 2010a), and to realize that
she was the target of his anger, not himself. He said that this helped
him not to embrace the "L" word--that of concluding that he
was a loser. He realized that he needed to take it slower in
relationships with women. He redefined his long-standing values of what
it meant to be a man. These had included the following: being strong
(physically and in character), a leader, dependable, sexually aggressive
and successful--i.e., having regular sex and multiple partners, and
being able to "get sex easily" as well as performing well at
any time, being able to fight physically, to handle all of his problems
on his own, to always be in control of his emotions, to be less
sensitive to others and less in touch with himself. His newly defined
value of a man was that of an honourable man: To keep his word, to be
kind, fair, honest, dependable, and faithful in a relationship. He now
felt that being physically strong had nothing to do with character. A
man of character would handle sex in a sensitive manner, would be able
to handle his emotions with Integrity, while at the same time being able
to express his feelings. Mark felt that he had learned the values of
being a macho man from peer groups, movies and peer pressure, especially
at ages 14-16. He could see that his father--a blue collar worker--had
been a man of character.
Mark decided to work on developing friendships with women first,
and finding ways to work on a courtship rather than his usual pattern of
becoming sexually involved right away. At the ninth and last therapeutic
session, Mark reported feeling consistently well, joyous and with the
sense that life was opening up for him. Mark was now dating a new woman
and working on a courtship. He found that they had a lot of values in
common. He said: "I used to look for a woman whom I could sleep
with; I am now looking for a woman I can wake up with." Mark was
now relating entirely differently within his social circle, being open,
initiating. He said that he was feeling better than he had in years, and
that this reminded him of the time he joined AA and felt that everything
had fallen into place for him. He felt that life was wonderful; he was
now recapturing the joys of childhood, such as summers spent camping.
Mark said that he found it so helpful to realize that his issues
had been linked to issues of Integrity, and that he now had clear
insights into this. Referring to his previous lack of Integrity, he
stated: "I need to change those patterns to get to be who I really
am"--realizing that it was a fundamental principle of the Integrity
model: In order to improve how one feels one must first change
one's behaviour to one that has more Integrity (Lander & Nahon,
2005). Mark could understand his panic attacks from the vantage point of
Integrity--realizing he had developed them when in relationships where
he was feeling deeply unhappy, but staying as he feared being alone.
Mark contacted me (first author) some months later; he informed me that
his relationship with his girlfriend was now solid and strong. They had
moved in together and were building a home and a life as a couple; his
sexual performance continued to be non-problematic. He said that he was
now happier with his life than he had ever been and he had exceeded his
wildest dreams.
Peter. Peter, a man in his mid-40s, was referred to me (first
author) right after I attended a conference of the American Men's
Studies Association. At first glance, Peter appeared somewhat brusque;
however, I was impressed with Peter's courage and sincerity in
seeking help and his candor in putting all of his cards on the table,
and thus invited him to come in for a "mutual eyeballing".
Peter presented with a recent history of financial problems,
causing major turmoil at home. He felt locked into a job that he hated.
Peter described feeling sad, stressed, and wanting to "escape in
his head". There were many home stresses with a blended family; he
felt that it was his home and that the kids were "boarders"--a
concept I felt initially uneasy
with. At this first meeting, Peter spontaneously acknowledged that
he was "stubborn and rigid" which was a new insight for him;
he felt that his wife was too lenient and that he "ran the
roost". He said that his wife found it hard to express herself as
he was "a big guy" who could be intimidating.
At our next meeting, Peter told me that he had gone home and shared
with his family his discovery that he was a "control freak".
We reviewed the Integrity model, and discussed the model's three
basic stances that in any relationship, and especially in dealing with
anger, one can only "move towards, away from, or against
another" (Nahon & Lander, 2014). Peter said he had never
conceptualized the "moving towards" stance before, i.e. the
notion that one could move closer to someone as a way of resolving a
conflict. He felt that the idea was "gold" but that he would
never do that as "men don't confront". Peter described a
past conflict situation with a friend; Peter had pulled away in anger
and was now estranged from this man. I asked Peter to list the qualities
of a man of character. He replied: "Honesty, trust, loyalty, and
fun." I suggested that pulling away from someone with no
discussion, as he had done with his friend, would not be loyal; he
agreed with this. He also explored how to better communicate with his
teenage son.
At our third and final meeting, Peter said that he had worked with
all of the concepts that we had discussed, and felt that all were
"of gold". He said he discussed with his kids the fact that he
is "the bit-h"; by this he meant that he did have 50% of the
accountability for the conflicts in his relationships with them. Peter
told me that when he said this to his kids, they immediately offered to
help with dinner, the laundry, etc.
Peter related that he felt proud and happy; he even shared with his
family the concepts of Integrity, for example, the notion of the three
fingers pointing back in one's direction when one is pointing the
finger and blaming another. He said: "I'm a learner, not a
pursuer" and "my bark is worse than my bite". He said he
had acquired a new concept of power, a different kind of power: Team
versus solo. I told him about an article I was writing with my colleague
on men's issues regarding good versus evil. Peter said: before,
"I came across as an ogre", yet "yelling does not get you
anywhere". He said he had acted in the only way that he had known.
He now could see the "power in being good" versus his
previously aggressive stance.
Peter said that he found these concepts helped as well in difficult
social situations. When he sat down and told his family about the
Integrity model, he also told them that he was seeing a therapist and
they said "good for you"; he did not try to hide this. Peter
also contacted the friend from whom he had been estranged for many
years, and made amends with him; he felt proud of himself and for having
been "the bigger person". His family told him: "If you
are not yelling, we will listen!" He said to me: "I'm not
your prototypical male; I'm loud but not an aggressor." He
added: "I've seen the light; I will be teaching it to all that
I know." He spoke of how much he respected his wife:
"She's my hero; I would die for her." He told me that he
discussed our sessions with her and that he had begun to "move
towards" her; he felt that if he continued his Integrity work, she
would "let her guard down." He told his friends at the pool
hall about his therapy and suggested to them that they seek help if
needed. He felt a new "bounce in his step" and was talking to
people more honestly. He was ready to terminate with the proviso that he
would contact me if needed.
DISCUSSION
Mark, Francois, and Peter's journeys illustrate our
Integrity-based work with many men in community practice and tertiary
care settings, adding further support to our clinical and empirical
findings of: (a) Men's immediate engagement in the therapeutic
process; (b) men's deep willingness to be radically honest without
defensiveness; (c) men's positive response to a wellness versus
pathologizing perspective; (d) the Integrity model as a theoretical
vehicle for men to articulate their values of being male and the value
clashes between traditionally socially prescribed values versus their
personal values of being a man of honour; (e) the connection between
issues of Integrity and symptoms of distress or physiological symptoms;
and (f) the fact that therapy is often quite brief as men are able to
run with the Integrity model as a philosophical perspective for daily
living (Lander, 1986; Lander & Nahon, 2000b, 2005, 2008a, 2008b,
2010a, 2011a; Mowrer, 1953, 1961, 1964, 1966; Mowrer & Vattano,
1976; Nahon, 1993; Nahon & Lander, 1992, 1998, 2008, 2010, 2011,
2012, 2013). As these men were able to work through this process and
acquire the understanding of the connections between symptoms and living
with Integrity, they discovered a sense of resilience that allowed them
to gain a new sense of mastery over their lives.
The journeys of all three men offer a conceptual challenge to the
literature's purported challenges faced by men in addressing
"the restrictive components of masculinity within a clinical
context" (Rochlen, 2005, p. 628), through both engaging in and
viably working in therapy. Mark, Francois and Peter--three men from
widely differing walks of life, had no difficulty engaging in therapy
and were profoundly receptive to the existential nature of the Integrity
model, in its stress on (a) the client's equality to the therapist,
and (b) the client's role in the therapeutic process, such that the
process of change in therapy is seen as being the task and
responsibility of the individual in therapy, rather than that of the
therapist. The existential nature of the Integrity model allows men to
dare to use their own individual voice with its male metaphors and
historical journey that has its own vibrato that is unique and can
harmonize with other men and of course the vibrato and voices of women.
Francois and Mark's journeys are typical of our work with men
who are grappling with sexual dysfunctions including premature
ejaculation and erectile difficulties. There is a dearth of recent
published articles in the arena of psychotherapy with men around sexual
dysfunctions. Several authors (Anson, 1995; Crowe, 1995; O'Donohue,
Swingen, Dopke, & Regev, 1999) have called for a greater focus on:
(a) Individual rather than couple treatment; (b) a focus on
under-represented populations, including men without partners and older
men; and (c) a greater understanding as to why the interpersonal rather
than the sexual therapy components of therapy may be effective. Our work
with Francois and Mark addresses this call, adding to the theoretical
and clinical understanding of factors underlying their sexual
dysfunctions in terms of an Integrity crisis based on a values violation
and how this can be addressed. The Integrity model quickly allowed both
men insight into this; their ensuing fidelity to a newly articulated
value system enabled them to access their potential for resilience,
allowing them both to resolve the sexual issues in a sustainable manner,
and to build a sense of self-worth and a more meaningful and joyous
life.
This article further addresses the literature's call for a
focus on a strengths-based and gender-sensitive approach in working with
men from a positive psychology perspective. It adds to the body of
empirical and clinical knowledge regarding the viability of a
values-based, existential perspective in engaging and working with men
in therapy (e.g., Lander & Nahon, 2000b, 2008a, 2011a; Nahon &
Land er, 1992, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013), challenging the
"myth of the emotionally defective male". The "unsung
heroes" that we have sung about today are the men who have crossed
our thresholds for over four decades. These are the men who have defied
the still-negative dominant literature, daring to pursue meaning in
their lives, their love of family and their courage to seek out therapy,
or even if court-mandated, stay in therapy for their own sake and for
that of others. They are the men who have defied the diagnostic labels
that often shunted them into revolving doors, drug regimes, and research
programs, with their failed outcomes confirming their diagnosis a la The
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; American
Psychiatric Association, 2013) and for having a "Y"
chromosome. The Integrity model encourages men to engage in a rebellion
of non-acceptance of the values of (a) society, including the media, (b)
significant others, and (c) their own fragmented selves that had been
cobbled together as a function of the man they thought they ought to be.
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Danielle Nahon * and Nedra R. Lander *
* Faculty of Medicine, University of Ottawa.
The authors would like to thank Stephen West for his editing
assistance, Emil Lander for his gift of time, and both Stephen and Emil
for their Integrity, love and support. The authors are deeply grateful
to James A. Doyle, Diederik F. Janssen, and Men's Studies Press for
their ongoing championing of scholarship in men's issues.
All correspondence regarding this article should be addressed to
Danielle Nahon, 250B Greenbank Road, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada K2H 8X4.
DOI: 10.3149/jms.2203.194