I Now Felt Powerful

I Now Felt Powerful

I traveled by train to the Violence, Abuse and Women's Citizenship Conference in Brighton (my first). I arrived at Brighton station at 8 a.m. When I went into the women's toilet, I was taken aback to see a uniformed man in there, going in and out of the cubicles, cleaning. I felt afraid, as there was no one else around. I wondered if he was really a cleaner, and whether he would harm me.

After the conference, I returned to the station, and, to my surprise, the same man was there once again, the only person in the women's toilet. This time I felt no fear, just irritation at his presence. I realized that in the space of 10 hours, my way of looking at the world had subtly altered.

I now felt powerful, special, part of a group, yet individual. Although I had been shocked and saddened by hearing other women's stories, I was amazed by their strength. I had words for things I had always known, but never spoken.

There was so much going on in my head that I was glad I had some tapes, books, postcards, and leaflets to help me make sense of the experience in the weeks to come and share with friends and fellow students.

Although I was mentally exhausted, I felt like the proverbial "sea-going tadpole" and could not imagine sleeping (ever again). So many questions answered; so many answers questioned.

I am determined to attend future conferences and to make some changes in my life. Although I went to Brighton on my own and had some difficulty knowing where to go and what to do (and I still don't know what a plenary is!), I had an amazing time!

Copyright Off Our Backs, Inc. Jan 1997
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