A Role Model Can Change Your Life

...a role model can be your inspiration.

When Nia Kelly was 11, her parents announced that they were starting a magazine for girls. Her mom, Nancy Gruver, felt strongly that her daughters--and other people's daughters--should know about the endless possibilities in their futures. Although she and her husband had no publishing experience, they didn't let that stop them from starting New Moon: The Magazine for Girls and Their Dreams. Nia has always admired her mom for taking this leap. "She taught me that you can take a passion and learn about it."

Because Gruver believed the best way for girls to learn about themselves and their dreams would be to explore the issues for themselves, she asked her daughter and 19 other girls to help create and edit the magazine. This experience led Nia to an interview with Angela Davis, a well-known scholar and equal-rights activist. Davis shared with Nia her involvement in the annual World Conference on Women. "After a half hour of talking to her, I was inspired to go myself," Nia says. So she and some friends found a way to attend the 1995 conference, held in Beijing, China. There, they joined 4,000 others who were also passionate about women's issues,

Nia admired her mom and Davis, and decided to follow in their footsteps. You, too, probably look up to certain persons--admiring their accomplishments, their beliefs, their knowledge and abilities, and what they do for other people. Some may be celebrities in the entertainment and sports industries, whom you admire for their looks and for how they deal with their fame, as well as for their special talents.

When you find yourself admiring and wanting to be like someone, you have found yourself a role model or possible mentor. This person can help you learn how to achieve success in school and in your career, and he or she can help you define what kind of person you want to become. Role models and mentors also can inspire you to avoid making negative choices, such as smoking tobacco.

Role Model or Mentor?

What's the difference between a role model and a mentor? Role models are those you admire but don't necessarily know personally. For example, 13-year-old Kate says Mariah Carey is her role model, "because her songs are inspirational and because she keeps her head high and thinks positively." Kate hopes to pursue a singing career, too.

Mentors, on the other hand, are people you get to know. You can write or call a mentor to get advice when you need it, so mentors can play a major, active role in your life. For example, Kate might find a mentor in a choir teacher or a family friend who works in the music industry. Nia adds that, with mentors, "You get to see both their good and bad days!"

Sometimes, the label "hero" is given to those we admire and want to be like. Martin Luther King, Jr., is considered a hero because he had the courage to challenge the beliefs of many in his fight for equal rights; in the end he gave his life to the cause. Christopher Reeve, who used to play a hero as Superman in the movies, is considered a "real life" hero for his determination and positive outlook after becoming paralyzed -- and for his ability to inspire others to have courage when facing extreme physical limitations.

Who Do I Want to Be?

One of the major benefits of having a mentor and role model is that you can look at how he or she deals with everyday situations and ask yourself what you would do. Would I do the same thing? Do I have the same opinion? Do I want to be the same kind of person?

Fifteen-year-old Linda says her mother is "the best example of humility and selfless giving I've ever seen." When life seems unfair or doesn't go her way, Linda says her mom is there as "a wellspring of strength." Linda is just one of many who admire "mom." In one survey of teens who said they had mentors to turn to for advice, 50 percent named their mothers.

Ryan, who is 19, admires the ancient philosopher Socrates. "At age 18, he went around his village and argued with logic against the elders' beliefs--and he proved them wrong." Ryan was inspired by how Socrates stood up for his own beliefs, and this is how Ryan tries to live his own life.

Often, we admire the way wellknown people remember that their success depends in part on fan support. Sammy Sosa, for instance, has achieved greatness for his role with the Chicago Cubs. He recently appeared in a series of advertisements for Pepsi; one reason the company chose him as a spokesperson was because he's considered a fan-friendly baseball player, especially by teens.

Malt Cutler started net. Genesis at age 25. When his start-up dream needed more than technological know-how, business executive Larry Bohn was called in to run the business. Now Cutler sees himself as something of a "karate kid," with Bohn as his mentor.

Courage is another trait often admired in role models. Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman, for example, warned teens against the dangers of smokeless tobacco last season. One reason he was chosen for the commercials was that he'd used smokeless tobacco himself up until a few years ago. It takes courage to come forward with this message, and Troy hopes to inspire others to take responsibility for their mistakes.

The Confidence to Succeed

Role models and mentors can also influence how much confidence you have in your ability to succeed. Nolan, age 21, credits his father for teaching him to take pride in his work and accomplishments. "In school, it has always been easy for me to just get by," Nolan says, "but I always try to go the extra step and do my best work." This applies to his high school basketball career, too. "My dad understood that I tried my hardest, and he would encourage me when I had a bad game."

Sometimes, the encouragement of your role models can be felt even though you don't know them personally. When K-K Gregory was 16, she was inspired by the actions of Aaron Feurerstein, president of Malden Mills, a factory located near her home in Massachusetts. One year, just before Christmas, most of the factory's buildings burned down. Feurerstein knew his workers were depending on their income for the holidays, so although they couldn't work, he continued to pay them.

K-K, who was already a successful business owner herself, wrote to Feurerstein to offer her help. Even though she never got a reply, she decided to take action. K-K's company is Wristies Inc., which manufactures a product designed to keep the area between your gloves and jacket sleeve warm and dry in bad weather. She thought about how she could help with the mill and decided to donate pairs of Wristies to the workers cleaning up the fire's destruction. "My role models have inspired me never to give up or lose sight of why I am doing what I do," K-K explains. "Success is never defined by money, but by what I can give to others."

Finding a Mentor

When looking for a mentor, you often don't have to look far. Consider all possible avenues. Mentors can be parents, teachers, coaches, club advisors, community leaders, or anyone you admire. Ask your school or local community center if there is a formal mentoring program that can hook you up with someone who works in a field that interests you. Also, take notice when someone you know shows interest in your work or praises you for your abilities; this person may make an ideal mentor.

Once you meet a potential mentor, ask lots of questions to find out what makes that person who he or she is. What did it take to get where he or she is today? What challenges does the person face and how does he or she deal with them? What lessons has the person learned? Most people are happy to share their experiences; in fact, most people who are mentors had mentors themselves. So they know that having a mentor can change your life.

Nia Kelly, who is now 20, has gotten to know and admire a friend of her parents who is a theater set designer. Nia has always been interested in the costumes created for movies and films, and she wants to pursue a career as a costume designer herself. Having someone to help guide her toward her dreams is a definite asset.

But before starting her career, Nia is following the example her mother set when she started the magazine for girls. Nia has taken on a challenge that few people try: making a bike trek around Lake Superior. "I wanted to try something incredibly hard," Nia says. And she knows that if her mom can achieve goals, so can she.

COPYRIGHT 2000 Weekly Reader Corp.
COPYRIGHT 2001 Gale Group