How to ruin any job interview: here are some job spoilers you should know about - Getting Hired

You're lying on your bed listening to your favorite new CD, daydreaming about your plans for life after the last day of school. Suddenly the music stops. There at the foot of your bed are your parents, just standing there with serious expressions on their faces. You haven't seen that expression in four years--not since they told you that Harriet the hamster had moved up to that big exercise wheel in the sky. You're ready for the worst.

"Dear," your mother begins hesitantly, "...well, your dad will explain"

"What your mother is trying to say," he says uncomfortably, "is that we both agree that it's time for you to look for a summer job."

A summer job? That is definitely not what you had planned for those sizzling, sunny days of summer. Oh no, a job did not factor into your future visions of lazy days at the beach and endless evenings spent cruising the hottest spots in town. Nope, "Did you want fries with that?" absolutely does not fit into your summer plans.

Your dad clears his throat and continues, "We'll make it easy for you. I'll pick up a few applications downtown and at the mall. Your mother will even help you fill them out. Isn't that right, honey?"

Your mom nods and adds, "See, dear, we'll all work together to get you a great summer job."

Sure enough, two weeks go by, and despite your worst efforts, the manager of The Bagel Barn calls you to set up a job interview. You can't just blow it off because then your parents will take away the car keys, cut off your allowance, and ground you for life. No, you need to make sure that the manager decides not to hire you, and you need to make it look totally innocent.

Try one of these sure-fire techniques, and your interview is guaranteed to end with the words most people dread, "...I'm sorry, but I don't think your qualifications meet me needs of our company at this time."

Timing Is Everything

Probably the best way to ensure that no employer will hire you is to arrive late for the interview. Even a few minutes off schedule will create the impression that getting to work on time will probably be difficult for you, and what boss wants to be bothered with someone who's always late? Showing up late for the interview definitely creates a negative first impression that will almost guarantee that you won't be offered the job.

The Magic Touch

Another way to make a poor first impression is to offer a bad handshake. Whether the interviewer is a man or a woman, most interviews begin with a handshake. Touch is a very important sense through which we connect with others. Try beginning your interview with an overpowering, bone crushing, "jaws of death" handshake. Unless your interviewer is an active member of the WWE, you'll make a painful and negative impression that should last throughout the interview.

Another, less strenuous, technique is to offer the "limp fish" handshake. If possible, go to the rest room just before the interview and run your right hand under cold water for 30 seconds. Yes, the feel of your cold, clammy paw hanging powerless in the interviewer's grip will create the impression that you're such a wimp that you couldn't do a day's work if your life depended on it.

Business Scents

Smell is actually an even more powerful sense than touch. As a rule, your aroma shouldn't play much of apart in an interview. But if you want to make certain that you turn off your interviewer, try dousing yourself with perfume, cologne, or after-shave before the interview. For some reason, an overpowering scent has a powerful negative effect on most people.

If you want to go for an even quicker turnoff, skip your morning shower or put on yesterday's shirt. Body odor is a guaranteed interview stopper.

Appearance Counts

The way you dress is important for most jobs, and it's particularly important for jobs that involve contact with the public. Even if you'll be wearing a uniform for the job, your interview clothing says a lot about you.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to the wrong look for an interview, but here are three favorites:

The Slob on the Job: Leave your shoes untied. Make sure you've got a few stains on your shirt. Wear your oldest jeans.. .you know, the ones with the hole in the seat and the tear in the knee. You'll win the pity vote, but no boss wants his or her customers to have to deal with a slob.

Britney Doesn't Work Here Anymore: Spare no makeup. Pour yourself into that skirt. Don't be afraid to show off that midriff. Wear your biggest hoop earrings, jangliest bracelets, heaviest necklaces, and brightest nail polish. Looks that might work for you at a high school dance will get you turned down for a job. Employers want to avoid workers whose extreme clothing and makeup might put off some customers.

Tuxedo Junction: Go ahead, buy a new suit for your interview at the highway department. Wear your new prom dress for the interview at the ice-cream stand. Believe it or not, you can overdress for an interview. Being too dressed up will send the message that you're afraid to get your hands dirty on the job. Employers won't hire a princess or prince for a job that requires a little muscle or effort.

In a Word...

Your answers, or lack of answers, to interview questions can project a lot about your level of motivation. Try answering yes, no, or "huh?" to every question the interviewer asks, and you'll send the message that you really don't want to be there and certainly don't want the job.

Believe it or not, most interviewers have to work at keeping the conversation moving in an interview, so they prefer to talk with people who engage in verbal give-and-take. Someone who responds with one-word answers is just about every interviewer's worst nightmare.

...That Is the Question

Almost every interview ends with the employer asking if you have any questions. If you don't ask at least one question, then the interviewer will assume that you're not very interested in the job. Asking questions that dwell on money and time off are almost as negative as asking no questions at all. They suggest that you're only interested in paydays and holidays and not very concerned about actual workdays. So, if you're worried that the interview has gone too well, don't ask any questions or ask questions that imply, "What are you going to do for me?"

Other Interview Stoppers

There are so many behaviors that will sour any job interview that it's difficult to mention them all. If you sip a soda or snap gum throughout an interview, you'll come across as unprofessional or immature. Slouching in your seat or failing to make eye contact with the interviewer, sends the message that you're not particularly sincere. There's no better way to present yourself as a whiner than to complain about a former boss or job. Announcing that you were fired from a previous job will trigger an alarm in most interviewers' heads, and telling lies will end most interviews quickly.

Turning It All Around

Now suppose you're all ready to get out there and convince even the nicest boss that you couldn't possibly work for him or her.

Then your father comes in with one more blank job application. "My friend Floyd says he needs to find backstage security workers for the big concert at the arena this weekend. They're only paying $15 an hour, and you'd have to put up with all those crazy rock stars. You wouldn't be interested in interviewing for a wacky job like that, would you?"

You grab the application and hastily begin filling it out.

"Well, he said he's holding interviews this afternoon," your dad continues. "I'll drive you down to his office."

Remember all that advice about how to ruin a job interview? Well, forget about it!

RELATED ARTICLE: Not the Way to Go!

Chances are you won't pull off your shoe and sock during an interview to sprinkle medicated powder on your foot. You probably won't offer to have the company logo tattooed on your forearm if you get the job, either. Believe it or not, job applicants have actually done these things, according to a Washington Post survey.

Here are some more common, but less funny, mistakes applicants make:

* Being overbearing. No one likes to interview--or work with, for that matter--someone who is aggressive, annoyingly conceited, or just plain rude.

* Not recognizing your strengths. Be sure to know your strong points. These apply both to your personality and to your abilities. Be ready to discuss them and to give your interviewer detailed examples.

* Lacking enthusiasm. No matter how well you feel or how much sleep you got the night before, at the interview you should be the picture of positive energy and enthusiasm.

* Expressing yourself poorly. Use proper grammar when speaking. Speak clearly, and be sure you are pronouncing words correctly. Speak in full sentences whenever suitable, and be sure to illustrate the points you make with details and examples.

* Lacking a career plan. Be sure that you are aware of your goals. Be sure to express to the interviewer how your goals, abilities, and interests will benefit the company.

* Expecting too much too soon. Interview for jobs that are a good match with your experience and ability. A little stretching is a good thing, but you aren't interviewing to become the company's next CEO--not right away anyway.

Getting Hired (pp. 15-17)

How to Ruin Any Job Interview

Students will infer effective interviewing techniques through learning what not to do.

REVIEW/DISCUSS

* What are ways to make a good or bad impression at a job interview? (through punctuality, handshake, dress, smell, appearance, answers, questions, and other behaviors)

* What attitudes are beneficial in an interview? (enthusiasm, pleasantness, acknowledgment of strengths, goal orientation, realism, good communication, positive attitude)

* What do you think is most difficult about a job interview?

* How would you prepare for an interview?

ACTIVITIES

* In preparation for a hypothetical job interview, ask students to list their strengths and write a paragraph giving examples.

* Have pairs of students role-play job interviews-good and bad. Invite students to comment on ways to improve their interviewing skills.

* Have students demonstrate good and poor answers to specific questions such as these. (Students may want to write down model answers.)

a. Why should I hire you?

b. What is your biggest strength? Weakness?

c. Why do you want to work for us?

d. What can you do for us?

e. What do you find most attractive about the position?

f. What do you look for in a job?

g. What are your five most significant accomplishments?

h. Are you a leader? Give examples.

i. How do you go about solving problems? Making decisions?

* Invite an employer to class to talk to students about interview turn-offs.

* Practice these techniques with students in class: a firm handshake, making eye contact during conversation, sitting straight, speaking clearly and properly having a pleasant attitude, having good posture.

* Encourage students to clip out magazine photos of clothing and "looks" appropriate for job interviews.

* Assign groups of students to develop interviewing checklists with pointers for success.

* Have students write three good questions to ask when interviewed for a job. Encourage students to research an organization ahead of time to be prepared with intelligent questions. Show students (or have a student demonstrate) how to research an organization via the Internet.

* Ask students to critique these questions that an interviewee might ask:

a. Is there overtime pay?

b. What kind of office would I have?

c. What accounts for your company's growth?

d. What are the long-range plans for this department?

e. How many employees do you have?

f. What skills are most important to you?

g. What does this company do?

h. Do workers have to dress up?

* Have students offer feedback on these answers to interview questions:

a. "I really don't have any skills because this is my first job."

b. "You would be foolish not to hire me."

c. "My mom could give you a reference."

d. "I like this company because it's a short commute from my house."

Teacher resource: "Make the Interview Count," video, $98; "Seizing the Job Interview," video, $79; Interview Challenge Board Game, $49.95; "Interview Tips from a Recruiter," video, $98; "Who Would You Hire?" video, $99; "Interviewing for a Job," video, $69.95; Jaguar Educational, P.O. Box 11930, Dept. G4, Charleston, WV 25339; (877) JAG-8200.

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