文章基本信息

Afterthoughts

Mark Russell Tribune Media Services Inc.

Education Secretary Rod Paige said he was joking when he compared the teachers union to terrorists. He meant to say the AARP.

Joking aside, the Department of Homeland Security is taking no chances on the lookout for teachers. Good thing the students are already armed.

Airport screeners are searching passengers for rulers, protractors and other weapons of mass instruction.

"Everyone can help," says Secretary Tom Ridge. "Should you confront a teacher, try to bind his or her wrists with duct tape."