Shore leave; Steeped in history and home to most of what makes the

Just follow the streets and the steps down from the centre of the old town, down beyond the old city walls, so stoutly defended against the forces of counter-reformation, down into Parc des Bastions and there it is. The Mur de la Reformation is a statue but the statue itself is a wall, a 100-metre long wall, dominated in its centre by giant figures of the four fathers of the Reformation, led by Jean Calvin and John Knox.

Walking along below the edifice on a bright winter morning I come to a growing realisation of why I have really ended up here. After all, I think, there's little comfort in a strict Presbyterian childhood in the Hebrides, where the 21st Century is finally nudging fundamentalism off the map, if you can't one day come to Geneva, shake your fist at a giant Calvin and shout: "It's all your fault."

Good, that's out of the way, and religious catharsis over we can get on with a relaxing weekend on the shores of Lake Geneva in what must be one of the most well-chosen spots for a European city.

At the mouth of the great lake, squeezed between the Alps and the Jura Mountains, Geneva, in a historical and political mindmap, would be the size of a small country not the small city it really is. Apart from being the city that fostered the Reformation, offered shelter to the Huguenots and provided the world with a banking system second to none, Geneva is the home to most of what makes the world tick. And that, Mr Harry Lime, amounts to more than cuckoo clocks.

The size of Geneva belies its status as an international capital. It is home to the International Red Cross, the United Nations and every other non-governmental organisation on the planet, well at least 250 of them. It was once the base for Nemesis, the fictional international crime-fighting organisation that gave the place TV glamour in the early Seventies. The Champions was a kind of poor man's Man From Uncle, with the advantage of Alexandra Bastedo, an exotic Canadian-Spanish-Dutch-Italian actress in a lead role. Her stunning looks were, I thought, Swiss, but her truly multi-national background kind of fits a city where a third of the population come from abroad.

The tiny metropolis of the international quarter is the reason most people come to Geneva to work. A tour of the various flag-poled institutions ends, quite symbolically, at the barbed wire US embassy on the top of the hill. Then you can unwind, as diplomats do, with a fabulous walk along the lakeside.

The water is crystal clear and even if the windless haze hides the far shore you can imagine sailing across the lapping water in the summer. Back towards town, the Bains des Paquis was a tatty old swimming pier jutting out into Lake Geneva opposite the famous Jet d'Eau, until the city fathers proposed demolition. Then there was an outcry. Restored instead of destroyed, they even hose clean the shingle of the mini-beach these days. It makes for a great promenade, the water looks clean and freezing but the air is warm enough to sit outside and eat cheap and cheerful chicken tagine and drink huge coffees from the canteen cafe next to the changing rooms. With winter sun glistening through the giant water jet, the international papers available at the newsstands and snow-capped Mont Blanc as a backdrop, it makes for a good start to the weekend.

There's history, and expensive little boutiques aplenty in the old town on the Rive Gauche, but the Rive Droite provides more fun. The guidebook might have Les Paquis down as having "engaging street life" but you and I, and Calvin (who was actually quite liberal when it came to pleasures of the flesh) would recognise it as a red light district. Maybe because of that it has the most interesting bars and small eateries in the city, little places where you can squeeze in an aperitif while personable staff empty the ashtrays at your table.

And this city is a smoker's delight. The Genevese, they smoke before dinner, after dinner, between courses and in your face if you so much as make a move towards your cutlery. Best to ask for a non- smoking section at La Bourse, a kind of cafe-brasserie right in the heart of the Carouge, a district to the south of the city. Like every other restaurant in town it serves fondue, which my companion correctly sussed as just a gigantic cheese on toast dipper. There are about ten Michelin-star restaurants in town, plenty of dishes apart from fondue, and Swiss wine by the barrelful.

When out of an evening don't, by the way, take a taxi anywhere unless you keep a saw handy to amputate an arm and leg. They are expensive while trams are cheap, frequent and come with easy-to- understand route maps. This has the added novelty of giving the impression that you know where you are going.

For transport, the trains connect Geneva airport to the city in less than ten minutes and the rest of the world in not much longer. South to the Italian Alps takes about an hour and north into France in a trice. In that sense Geneva, or its airport at least, is ideal as a ski base for those weeks when the weather system can play havoc on one side of the mountains or you simply can't decide where you want to ski this year.

If Geneva fails to ignite you, it can feel a bit staid and expensive (there are just too many expense account restaurants) then grab a train to Lausanne, just 30 minutes along the lakeside. A pilgrimage to Lausanne is worth it for its impressive terraced architecture on the steep north shore of the lake. It has better bars, more Swiss people, a lively club scene (if that's your thing) and several art galleries, the best of which is the extraordinary Collection de l'Art Brut far up the hillside. This is the biggest collection of Outsider Art, or Naive Art, in the world created by loners, mavericks, psychiatric patients and people generally on the fringe. It is awesome and provides something to take away with you.

On that point, they might make good mementos, but don't forget that you'll never get a Swiss army knife through the airport in your hand luggage. Stick to toblerones and please, for my sake, don't bring back any religious tracts from Switzerland.

NEED TO KNOW How to get there Duo (0871 700 0700, www.duo.com) has started direct flights to Geneva from Edinburgh. Relatively cheap but classy - small jets with gold-tipped wings and champagne on take- off. Book online for a fare of (pounds) 69.

Where to stay Epsom Manotel, 18 Rue de Richemond (www.manotel.com) provides good, mid-range accommodation close to the train station.

More information Geneva Tourism Board www.geneva-tourism.ch Alexandra Bastedo and the Champions plots are on the ITC website.

What to read Hotel du Lac, Anita Brookner; The Swiss, The Gold And The Dead by Jean Zeigler; Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

Copyright 2004 SMG Sunday Newspapers Ltd.
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