LES MISERABLE

FAMILY Fortunes host Les Dennis has sensationally vowed to walk off Celebrity Big Brother - even if he is not voted out tonight.

The flatulent "funnyman" - whose crude personal habits have already annoyed housemates and viewers - was devastated after being nominated for the boot on the reality show. Crestfallen Les choked back tears as he paced the living room, and then sat in silence on the sofa holding his head in his hands.

Now he is on a collision course with the show's producers for promising to leave the programme tonight after making a bizarre pact with Goldie, who was also nominated for eviction.

The former Family Fortunes host said he and DJ-turned-actor Goldie would leave together, regardless of the outcome of the viewers' poll.

But a Channel 4 spokeswoman insisted: "Only the celebrity who loses the public vote will leave the house."

Last night Les was favourite to be ousted from the charity programme. After picking up three eviction nominations, he stood in the middle of the living room and said: "Hello, Big Brother. We want to both go if the other one loses. Can we do that or what? Do you need me to talk to you about it?"

The troubled 48-year-old eventually went into the Diary Room for the heart-to-heart with Big Brother.

A programme insider said: "Les is trying to put a brave face on it, but it's obvious he's gutted about his nomination.

"He was very nervous about it - more so than the others who seem to be seeing this just as a game. He said you come into this business because you want to be liked and it's a horrible feeling when you are not.

"We want him to stay because he's the only real character in the house at the moment. He's talking to the chickens and seems to be fairly neurotic. "But at least it's entertaining."

After his nomination, Les, who was picked for the boot by Goldie, former Take That star Mark Owen and lesbian comic Sue Perkins, sought solace in the show's chickens. The TV host - married to actress Amanda Holden - talked to the birds, christening one "Steve" and urging them to lay eggs.

More than 4.7million viewers watched Friday evening's nominations - compared to an average of 4.4million who tuned into last year's Celebrity Big Brother.

Figures have plummeted since 7.2million watched the six contestants enter the house on Wednesday night.

Model Melinda Messenger is hot favourite to win the 10-day show.

In the latest William Hill odds Melinda is 6/4; Mark Owen 5/2; Goldie 7/2; Sue Perkins 6/1; Les Dennis 15/2; Anne Diamond 10/1.

-LES Dennis has revealed he is to star in next year's new series of Casualty. He will play Pip Benson, a "two-faced bully who gets his come-uppance".

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