Golden years ahead for single woman

By KENT S. COLLINS

Q:I am single and healthy and in shouting distance of my pension. Can you give me any advice and comfort about the golden years ahead of me? --- MISS D.D.R.

A. You may be the best fortified of any demographic for retirement! You may just be the perfect candidate for the golden years.

Long ago, you made many of the adjustments people must make in retirement. You know how to go your own way, how to make friends without a companion or partner in play, too. You may be more adaptable to social situations. You know about being alone, which is part of some retirement lifestyles. You know the business details of life and don't have to learn how to do the tasks previously handled by a mate.

You probably are more self-reliant than most married people. You have handled problems and resolved issues on your own. Most married couples consult problems and issues, until one spouse dies, leaving the other with problems and issues that seem larger than those they've dealt with in the past.

Your retirement won't impose on another person's lifestyle and household routines.

For all the warmth --- spiritual and intellectual --- of a spouse, you won't have to adjust to it being missing when they are gone.

A single woman in retirement can be especially attractive --- to both men and women. Men assume a longtime single woman won't be as pushy or as dependent in a relationship. Married women see an older single woman as stronger and freer --- someone to learn from as old age sets in.

Some single people write that without the benefit of family and workplace associates, they fear growing into isolation. But longtime single people seem to have previously established their degree of sociability. They have grown accustomed to a mixture of alone time and relationship time, and they continue to pursue that mixture even without the social convenience of a workplace.

The lifestyle skills you have forged as a longtime single person should serve you well in the golden years. And your self-reliance will be envied by others.

Los Angeles Times Syndicate

Copyright 1999
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