SO, SHE'S DETERMINED TO CUT WOODY DOWN TO SIZE

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - particularly one with a book deal.

Doubleday plans to publish Mia Farrow's autobiography early next year, and she has no intention of mincing words about former flame Woody Allen, who's having an affair with one of Farrow's adopted daughters and was accused of abusing another.

"My adrenaline flowed ... like a war zone," Farrow said at the American Booksellers Association's annual convention in Chicago.

"It was never my intention to write about my life, but in 1992 a series of harrowing, unfathomable and excruciating events blew my whole world apart. My vision had been unclear, and very quickly I learned that this man had no respect for everything I hold sacred, not for my family, not for my soul, not for my God or my goals."

Loose talk

Notorious womanizer Jack Nicholson, on relations between the sexes: "If men get the feeling that women want them to wear green ears, they will wear them. And they'll say, `I'm just my own man' all the while they're wearing 'em."

She's just cruising right up to the big one

Nicole Kidman turns 29 today.

Unfortunately for Frasier, she was listening

Kelsey Grammer is being sued by his ex-girlfriend for making disparaging comments about her in his autobiography and on "Oprah." Cerlette Lamme says in her lawsuit that the "Frasier" star claimed she lost his dog while she was strung out on drugs, and also badgered him into driving while drunk.

As her leading man, flop goes the Dweezil

The romance is apparently over between odd couple Dweezil Zappa and Sharon Stone. According to People magazine, the 38-year-old actress decided the 26-year-old rocker son of Frank Zappa is a bit too, well, green for her tastes.

We hear their next boy will be Paul Mall

Robin Wright tells Variety magazine that she and Sean Penn did not name their two children, 5-year-old Dylan and 2-year-old Hopper, after Bob Dylan and Dennis Hopper - or even Dylan Thomas and Edward Hopper. "We were just looking for groovy names," Wright said. "We'd even considered cigarette brands, like Winston."

The moral: If you keep them, it will compound

"Field of Dreams" director Phil Alden Robinson finally returned two library books borrowed from his alma mater, Union College, in 1970 - and paid the fine. "At ten cents a day, it comes to $1,900," he said.

Well, if that's the case, consider it cashed

With the paperback version of "The Unabomber Manifesto" in its third printing, Jolly Roger Press publisher Kristan Lawson plans to send a royalty check to Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski. "Of course, if he cashes the check, he's admitting he's the author of the book," Lawson told the Village Voice. "I talked with someone today who said he'd have to be crazy to cash it."

Copyright 1996 Cowles Publishing Company
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