Old Shields' almanac for 2003

January Rafael Scheidt returns to Celtic Park. Transfer window opens. Celtic offer Rangers the (pounds) 4.8m Brazilian on loan on condition he gets a regular game in defence alongside Bert Konterman. A group of well-heeled Rangers fans put together a financial package to allow club to enter transfer market. The cash is withdrawn when Alex McLeish announces his prime target is a midfielder from Lens called Pape Sarr.

Falkirk ask SPL to rescind the stipulation that member clubs must have a 10,000 all-seater stadium. SPL refuse.

Celtic launch a pay-for-access service on their website in which Martin O'Neill writes exclusively about his dilemma over signing a new contract.

February Falkirk consider buying off-the-shelf, flat-pack stadium from Ikea, but abandon plan as manager Ian McCall cannot understand the instructions.

Rangers open six-point lead over Celtic in Premierleague. Ibrox debt increases to (pounds) 70m.

O'Neill says he will be trying out Scheidt in a variety of roles. The Brazilian makes an unexpected appearance in the home game against Livingston, wielding a fork and helping the ground staff repair divots at half-time.

March Scotland beat Iceland 6-0 at Hampden. Germany suffer shock home defeat at hands of Lithuania and Scotland top section. Berti Vogts insists Germany will still finish first in group.

Rangers win CIS League Cup. Ibrox debt rises to (pounds) 75m.

Scheidt dons the hoops again when he is called into action as regular Hoopy the Huddle Hound person suffers a strain during the warm-up. Crowd are delighted with Hoopy's new samba routine.

April Scotland beat Lithuania. Berti Vogts says Scotland now looking virtually certain to finish in second place behind Germany.

Scheidt makes fifth consecutive appearance as Hoopy the Huddle Hound. Interviewed by Chick Young, Scheidt says he is delighted, but realises there will be competition for places now that the usual Hoopy person is fully fit.

Falkirk are streets ahead in race for promotion to Premierleague. Chairman Campbell Christie says club will not redevelop Brockville, but will take SPL to Court of Session claiming their stadium rule is a restraint of trade. Court of Session decides that SPL, like any football body, are not subject to the rule of law.

May Airdrie United finish bottom of Scottish Second Division. But Lanarkshire football has been given shot in arm by Terry Butcher's success in guiding Motherwell to third place in Premierleague and place in Uefa Cup.

Rangers win SPL title by comfortable margin and go on to win the Scottish Cup final against a Celtic team so devastated by injury that Martin O'Neill had to name Hoopy the Huddle Hound as a substitute. With league and cup bonuses, Rangers' debt climbs to (pounds) 95m.

Celtic launch paranoia.com, new pay-for-access website in which O'Neill and players talk exclusively about referees and why the Parkhead cupboard is bare despite the team playing astonishingly brilliantly all season.

Falkirk win promotion to Premierleague and take their case against the SPL to the European Court of Justice.

June Scotland beat Germany 1-0 at Hampden. Berti Vogts says: "You were lucky. That was never a penalty."

Celtic board say they want O'Neill to stay as manager despite not winning a trophy. Announce that the club is healthily in profit due to revenues from pay-for-access websites.

Shock as liquidators suddenly pull plug on Motherwell FC. Airdrie United buy their Lanarkshire rivals and will appear in SPL as Airdrie Well.

July European Court of Justice rules in favour of Falkirk FC after virtuoso speech by Ian McCall about a Scottish football supporter's inalienable right to stand in the pouring rain and have a fellow fan pish down the back of his legs.

Airdrie Well make early exit in first qualifying round of Uefa Cup.

O'Neill announces he will stay at Celtic on a one-month rolling contract.

August Celtic and Rangers both qualify for first group phase of Champions League.

Scheidt brings a flavour of Brazil to Celtic Park when he is put to work in the Walfrid Restaurant kitchens. His Churrasco barbecue beef is a major success and he is named chef of the month by Joanna Blythman, Sunday Herald food critic.

September Scotland continue their excellent Euro 2004 run with fighting draw against Faroe Islands at Hampden. Germany win away in Iceland. Berti says: "I am very pleased. It is always difficult to win away matches, but I was always confident we would get the three points."

Four days later Scotland beat Germany 3-0 in Dortmund and win group with a game to spare. Berti says: "Paul Lambert's hat-trick was magnificent. In fact, Paul's entire performance back at the stadium where he learned his trade was a triumphant tribute to German football."

Celtic and Rangers still unbeaten in Europe.

October Berti Vogts gives most passionate team talk of his Scotland career before match against Lithuania. "You need to beat these Baltic bastards if we are to have any chance of going through to the play-off," he says.

Falkirk top the league. SPL pass new rule requiring clubs to have all-standing stadia.

Both Celtic and Rangers qualify for second group phase.

November Germany win Euro 2004 play-off. Berti says: "We must be favourites to lift the trophy in Portugal, but I think Scotland can get a medal."

Banks put Rangers into receivership as debt goes over (pounds) 100m. Airdrie businessmen buy the Ibrox club. Airdrie Rangers are now top of the Premierleague and are in the same Champions League section as Real Madrid, Roma and Ajax.

O'Neill announces on his website that he is happy with his new one- week contract at Celtic.

December Johan Mjallby and Joos Valgaeren stalk Daily Record Christmas party, hoping to get snatch pictures of drunk photographers. Give up when they realise press photographers never buy a drink.

European football rocked to foundations as Spanish banks put Real Madrid into liquidation.

O'Neill says Scheidt is absolutely wonderful as Santa in Celtic superstore.

And looking further forward to 2004 Scotland beat Germany in Euro 2004 final. Berti says it is his proudest moment. He never dreamed he would be reinstated as German coach. Martin O'Neill says he can now leave Celtic, having taken them to a European cup final. He adds that it is no disgrace to lose to a team of the quality of Real Airdrie Madrid.

Copyright 2002 SMG Sunday Newspapers Ltd.
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