Off-key sentiments fail to lower the tone

In the Old Firm hymn book not all songs are sectarian. Some are foul and abusive on a personal level.

The Celtic lyricists had been at work on a new version of Tell All the H*ns You Know. The previous lyrics - "you'll never sell Ricksen or Flo" - had to be decomissioned. Rangers did sell Tore Andre and Celtic fans just wish Ricksen had been sold. Fernando, once the butt of much Hooped humour, has emerged under the McLeish regime as a clever and creative midfielder. He was yesterday's man of the match.

The new words of Tell All The H*ns You know are pretty vile and I mention them only because they have some relevance to the proceedings at Ibrox: "Michael Mols is a monkey/Caniggia's a junkie/ De Boer takes it up the ... "

In the event, Ronald de Boer stuck it up Celtic to put Rangers 2- 1 up. Then Mr Mols made a monkey of Celtic by scoring a third before half-time and yet another 5-1 Ibrox scoreline loomed.

Celtic lost because their big defenders failed to get a grip on the nifty skills of Mols, Shota Arveladze and Neil McCann. Even Fernando Ricksen was granted the freedom of the Celtic penalty box, jinking (to use a word we normally associate with small and skilful Celts) through a static defence to set up Mols's goal.

Old Firm games can often be an ordeal, especially when your team loses. Yesterday's encounter came as a blessed relief from the build- up in which the football had got lost in a circuitous and ultimately futile debate on what is to be done about sectarianism in our society.

I plan in future to restrict my pre-Old Firm media intake to Business AM which has a fine column on sports betting by a chap with the nom de guerre The Chancer. Mr Chancer wrote: "Sporting Index's spread on the goals for this game is 2.8-3.1." He added that the bookies had made Rangers marginal favourites "but Sporting Index can't separate the two, leaving you to make the choice at 0.15".

I don't understand any of the prognostications but I'm intrigued by the concept of a team scoring 2.8 or 3.1 goals. I can only assume this is what happens when Hugh Dallas chalks off 0.2 of a Celtic goal or adds 0.1 to a Rangers' strike. (There, that's the paranoia interlude over and done with.) Thankfully, it was a day when the Old Firm match was all about football. This match delivered the goods from the first second to the last. Many of the Celtic fans were still singing the pre-match You'll Never walk Alone when John Hartson walked through the Rangers defence to set up Chris Sutton's goal in 19 seconds.

The ecstatic fan beside me claimed the first Rangers player to touch the ball was their goalkeeper Stefan Klos. I could not possibly verify this from row Z of the upper tier at the other end of the stadium but I subscribe to the philosophy that if there is incompatibility between the truth and the legend, print the legend.

As is normal at an Old Firm match, we saw the best of football and the worst. The worst is usually a side-effect of the edgy nature of these conflicts. Ronald de Boer, who is the epitome of cool composure, could be seen totally miscuing an attempted connection with the ball and minutes later mispassing to send Henrik Larsson through on goal. Larsson missed the opportunity to put Celtic two goals up.

Much of the play could best be described as unsophisticated. There was an awful lot of what we used to call heidie-tennis. A classy midfielder could get a serious injury - most likely a crick in the neck - watching the ball soaring back and forwards.

That the outcome of the match was in doubt until the last exciting seconds was testimony to the spirit the Celtic team exhibited in bringing themselves back from the brink of ignominy. Not only did they prevent Rangers from adding to their 3-1 lead but they came close to avoiding defeat.

The post and the miraculous goal-keeping presence of Mr Klos came between John Hartson and a hat-trick.

At the end of the day, all of the hype and heavy policing was worth it. In terms of bile, abuse, and provocative behaviour, this was one of the least offensive Old Firm matches I have experienced.

Travelling to and from the game I saw only one act of deliberate law-breaking. A passenger on the Underground was drinking a can of Stella Artois but then I've always been of the opinion that what the Glasgow subway system needs is buffet cars on its trains.

In the relatively subdued atmosphere, there was time for some flag- spotting. The red hand of Ulster was to the fore. Even a Celtic fan had one, on the red and yellow flag of the province, proving that the more these two sets of supporters try to be different the more they are the same.

I have only one small suggestion if the powers that be want to take the sectarian patina off this grand old football fixture.

The Rangers Tannoy blasts out the officially sanctioned version of Follow, Follow with the line about "if they go Dublin..." Now, I know this is merely a reference to the club's many European victories over the likes of Shelbourne and Bohemians, but wouldn't it be nice to take any opportunity to eliminate Ireland from the Old Firm equation?

Copyright 2002 SMG Sunday Newspapers Ltd.
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.