Anyone fancy a Slippery Nipple?

Lorenzo Amoruso of Rangers seems to be an amiable sort of fellow so it was sad to read that, during a long injury lay-off, he fell into a depression and took to the drink. It was even sadder to note that in the battle against his depressive state, Amo's weapon of choice was Baileys, the Irish whiskey liqueur.

Instead of working on his fitness, Lorenzo would sit at home watching daytime telly and guzzling glass after glass of the sickly Irish stuff. Amoruso has been long enough in Scotland's culture to know that Baileys is a wumman's drink.

It could only have been worse if he had been on Midori and lemonade or Advocaat with a marachino cherry.

This leaves him open to accusations of being a big girl's blouse. Anyone foolish enough to make this comment to the big Italian's face can go right ahead. There can be no doubts about Amo's masculinity according to reports from the Ibrox shower-room.

Amoruso's near five-year stay in Scotland might well qualify him to play for our national team one day. If he ever dons the dark blue shirt, Amo must be made aware of the Scottish football heritage.

Can you imagine if Lorenzo had tagged along with the Copenhagen Five in 1975. Billy Bremner says to the barman: "That's five pints of lager, three large vodkas, two Bacardis and a Baileys in a dirty glass."

Even these days you can't imagine a Scotland player going for a night out in Hong Kong, having one or two Baileys too many, and missing the flight home.

There is a simple way for Amo to stick with his sticky tipple and that is by mixing his drinks. A macho way to take Baileys is to add a large brandy.

Our man could take the Italian option and have Baileys with Sambucca but there is the embarrassment factor of asking for a Slippery Nipple as this even stickier concoction is called.

I can confirm it is a dangerous business mixing drinks in the company of footballers. On a visit to Lisbon, Tommy Gemmell introduced me to the concept of port and brandy. It is a daunting mixture but with Portuguese measures it is lethal. Add in a wee chaser of strong Portuguese beer and it's good night Lisbon.

Tommy is a big lad with hollow legs and remained unaffected while lesser mortals were left in a heap. He has many happy memories of Lisbon; I can't remember a thing.

Alcohol is an institutional part of football. From the sponsors on the shirt to the bottle of champagne for the man of the match. Managers and players are ritually enjoined in post-match interviews to head for a celebratory drink after some success or other.

It is not so long since some football clubs would give their players a large glass of sweet sherry as they left the dressing-room to give them a wee jildy for the 90 minutes ahead.

Airdrie United and Coatbridge could certainly buck up their players with a bevvy of Buckfast. Not a few footballers had the same idea, consuming a large whisky or brandy to give themselves a jag for the game.

Sometimes the alcohol connection can be entirely inappropriate. When George Best ended his spell at Hibs - a stay during which his contributions to Edinburgh's bars was more noticeable than his time on the pitch - the fans gave the drink-damaged hero a present of a decanter and glasses. Mr Best is one footballer who perhaps should have stuck to the occasional Baileys. The recent biography of Jim Baxter sets out how a fabulous football talent was sacrificed to drink.

Willie Hamilton, a player beloved of both Hibs and Hearts fans in the 1960s, is one who stands out in the pantheon of Scottish footballers who let Friday night get in the way of his Saturday afternoon performances.

Hamilton played his best football, including delivering a lesson to Real Madrid when they lost 2-0 to Hibs, under the effective discipline of Jock Stein. One of Stein's many attributes as a manager was his skill at detecting wayward bevvying by his players and encouraging them to desist.

Sir Alex Ferguson was no slouch in this regard, once raiding a Manchester United players' late-night card school in his early days at Old Trafford to forcibly establish his unremitting rule of law.

You can't imagine a player under Stein or Ferguson languishing at home watching Richard and Judy with a bottle of Baileys.

PS: Try this Amoruso cocktail. One measure each of blue Bols, red Aftershock, any white spirit, orange (or tangerine) juice. It is like an Amoruso free-kick. Fierce and usually delivered over the bar.

PPS: This article would have been much more informed if the writer had spent Friday night on research, but not in various cocktail bars.

Copyright 2002 SMG Sunday Newspapers Ltd.
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.