All you need is love...; Love lives

Treating Valentine's Day with respect is a bit like believing in a politician - you just shouldn't do it. Really, how can a day that drowns us in fluffy toys, cheesy rhymes, too-sweet chocolates and dodgy Hallmark cards expect to be taken seriously?

Romance has never exactly been up there with astro-physics when it comes to exercising the old brain cells, but then it's not meant to be. Romance is about emotion, spontaneity, love. It's a beautiful journey that takes you away from the harsh realities of the everyday world, transports you to a fantastical place. Valentine's Day, on the other hand, is just a cheap-and-cheerful, trailer-trash-technicolour day trip to your local supermarket. We may dream of Prince Charming, white horses and misty nights full of passion, but what we're much more likely to get is a lurid red bit of card with a salmon-pink heart in the middle and a box of chocolates we don't really want.

It's ironic. The demand for Romance with a capital R has never been higher. Women across the country are currently swooning en masse over Carrie Bradshaw's dream boyfriend, Aidan, in Sex and the City (in real life, he is single). Films like Serendipity, where Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack agree to leave their love to chance, instead of going through all the usual dating motions, are major hits; chick-lit authors can't seem to satisfy our demand for sub- Bridget Jones'-like plots where independent women only find true happiness in the arms of a modern-day Mr Darcy; fashion is glorying in a new-New Romantic phase with Dr Zhivago-influenced Russian dress, high-neck Edwardian lace tops and frills and bows enough to fill a skip. Perfumes luxuriate in names like Romance, Tresor, Samsara, Opium - everything to suggest the exotic and the sensual.

Somehow along the way though, Valentine's Day seems to have missed out on all this glamorous, sensuous excitement. The very day that epitomises romance seems to have had every hint of it stripped away and now it seems about as classy as Jordan - just a little bit tawdry and a little bit over-used.

But it doesn't have to be like this. There are options for a cool, funky Valentine's Day that recapture the magic of a first encounter; recreate a moment of passion; or, slightly less ambitiously, just give you some time out from a busy, demanding life. And you don't even need "that special someone" to do it.

For the fully-fledged, lurved-up couple looking for something special, here are a few pointers. According to those masters of romance, Harlequin publications (better known in the UK as Mills and Boon), a trip away is ideal. If you can afford the time and the cash, they organise both a romantic wine tour through California (check out www.eHarlequin.com) and a special couples' trip to Maui, one of the Hawaiian islands.

Closer to home, you can "Escape Together" to the brand new spa at the Sheraton Grand in Edinburgh which is specialising in dual offers so that you and your loved one can at least enjoy the spa experience at the same time. Or if you really want to escape, book a flight in a Hot Air Balloon over London for two ((pounds) 360 - see www.surpriseyourman.com for details).

If you fancy exchanging separate prezzies, check out what's on offer for men beyond the socks-and-cufflinks variety. He can go hang gliding, if he's daring enough (a Gliding Experience For Him is only (pounds) 69 for your 20 minute introductory lesson, although I'm sure if you're a Her, you can give it a try, too). There are also SAS Survival Books, to fulfil those macho fantasies, or plain old- fashioned Whisky cake, made out of Speyside Single Malt (check out www.iwantoneofthose.com).

For the girls, especially the ones who don't fancy gliding through the air or living on their wits, relaxing home spa kits like the Shanghai Seduction Kit (full of candles, bath oils and massage lotion for (pounds) 20), might be a little more what you had in mind. And if that doesn't quite reach those aches and pains, what about the Infratech Massager, an electronic hand-held tool with attachments which tackles those tensed up areas, to really help you relax? If your love is alas, far far away, too far away to be reached by anything except carrier pigeon, worry not. www.mydearvalentine.com carries a Valentine's message board, where you can post your thoughts to be accessed from anywhere on the globe.

It may be a cheaper option too - not everybody can afford to splash out on something expensive. But a last suggestion for the toffs out there - online auctions.

Last year, Sotheby's held a special antique jewellery sale, offering strings of pearls at the starting price of (pounds) 200. "Pearls carry a particular message of sentimentality in Greek and Roman mythology as the pearl symbolised love and marriage," they said. "It is also the emblem of Aphrodite and Venus and is the material associated with thirty years of marriage."

If cash is a premium, it still doesn't mean your Valentine's Day has to be boxes of chocs and an old red rose. You can buy fun shot glasses for a fiver each; love bugs and champagne truffles for much the same price - and for the hippies among you, some Dope-on-a-Rope (green hemp oil soap) which won't break the bank. Love-heart shaped earrings look sweet, they'll last longer than chocolates and at around (pounds) 20, they're still fairly affordable. (All from surpriseyourman.com) And for those you've just met and don't quite know how to celebrate? Something lighter, a less loaded with meaning and thoughts of "the future" than an antique pearl necklace might suit better. If that's the case, look no further than - the Internet. For all that is wacky, but still with a hint of those playground Valentine's Days, get ready to surf.

You may have to dodge a few sites that initially look promising - according to GlisteningGifts.com, "ladies like to be showered with luxury items". And so, Mr Romantic of the Year - just you "consider giving your Valentine an assortment of Glistening Gifts bracelets!" Better still, they're all made from fine Austrian crystal and only cost $12 each. Yes, that sure is mighty fine crystal.

And while www.mydearvalentine.com may sell the ridiculous - Valentine's Day wallpaper should you fancy a spot of re-decorating, and personalised "Make me late for work" pillowcases - it also sells the fun side. You can name a real star after your loved one through the International Star Registry, and if your love object is just an unreconstructed computer geek, or you can treat him to a Valentine silver-plated computer mouse, or Valentine angel computer topper.

For the raunchier among you, who feel that Valentine's Day has been sanitised and saccharined beyond all recognition and want to inject some danger, some sex appeal plus disregard anything that smacks of political correctness, then the saucy Blue Foot Bears (www.bluefootbear.com) may be just the thing. Their "Bearly Legal" range includes everything "from Dominatrix to Bondage, there's a bear to suit every perversion". The Schoolgirl Bear is "in serious need of punishment", the French maid "is bound to add froth to anyone's cappucino" and the Naughty Nurse "would never make it past Matron with her Wonderbra cleavage on show." (If you're a girl and not enticed by the thought of receiving anything from this particular selection, you can choose between the classic Valentine's bear, "nude but not rude" and "the streetwise Jack of Hearts, complete with mobile phone, string vest, gold chain and boxer shorts.") What, though, after all this, if you're single?

There's no reason why you shouldn't head off for an indulgent meal with your mates - Valentine's Day is about love and that should include things you love to do. So if you're a food faddie, get those heels on, put on a bit of slap and head out into the night for a little bit of singleton fun.

Should your friends all be loved up however and you don't want to sit in on your own, head for your local Salsa club. If you've always fancied it but never got around to trying, now's the time. (Salsa Fuente at Havana in Glasgow and Edinburgh's Capital Dance classes - other info on www.capitaldance.co.uk).

Then there's always the spa option. Treat yourself to a Style Spa Deluxe, a manicure and pedicure set ((pounds) 50) (Iwantoneofthose.com). There are beautiful indoor water features like the Zen Water Feature, which recreates the chill-out-sound of water running over rocks and pools ((pounds) 45.50). And if you really don't want to be alone - what about an Internet Boyfriend/Girlfriend - for (pounds) 6.99, you get access to Mr CyberValentine.

Who says Valentine's Day is just about cards and chocs? The Romance Revolution starts here!u Flowers, chocolates, tacky padded cards? It doesn't have to be this way. Whether you're loved-up or single, we've got Valentine's Day wrapped with original ideas that shout: I love you! The Ivy House in Alloway is offering Valentine's Dinners (14-15 February, from (pounds) 30) and Valentine's Breaks (14- 17 February, from (pounds) 30 to (pounds) 110). Includes Valentine's Aperitif and Canapes with candlelit four-course dinner.

uRoyal Hotel and Lodge, Bridge of Allan Valentine's Break from (pounds) 52.50 per person, inlcudes chocolates and sparkling wine.

uSpecially-designed Valentine's Day undies at Marks & Spencer, nationwide.

uThe Harvest Clinic, St George's Cross, Glasgow. Full range of complimetary therapies including Indian Head Massage uClarins Studios, House of Fraser and John Lewis, Glasgow (aromatherapy massage from (pounds) 37).

u"Escape Together" at One, the Sheraton Grand Hotel, Edinburgh. Includes full day use of spa treatments and two-course meal with glass of champagne at Santini Spa Cafe ((pounds) 120 for two).

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