[ AFTER the impossibly hyped... ]

AFTER the impossibly hyped shenanigans of the millennium Hogmanay, my faith needs restoring in the Scots' ability to get their knees up without a multi-million pound pyrotechnics display. Gone are the days when a wee dram and a tin of shortbread were enough to get the nation birling into a hangover worthy of a new year. Forget the tall, dark stranger, Hogmanay only seems to go with a bang when there are explosives involved these days.

Some bottles of beer, a couple of Sea Breezes, an unhealthy dose of gin and a few minutes into the new century, I promised my sister she and I would bring 2001 in with the help of some great balls of fire at Stonehaven harbour. Only I forgot my pledge until a few days ago, when she reminded me I was going back to my spiritual north east homeland for a proper Hogmanay without fireworks, high-tech light shows or Portaloos.

The deal was we would go to a ceilidh so basic you have to bring your own food, before tumbling out into the streets of Stonehaven to see grown men and women throw fireballs around their heads. The climax to the whole extravaganza would be the moment dozens of fireballs were tossed into the sea at the town's harbour. It seemed petty to insist that a couple of rolled up newspapers attached to a wire and doused in petroleum couldn't hope to match the fireworks extravaganza at Glasgow's new Science Centre. Pyrotechnics wizard Christophe Berthonneau might have swapped the Eiffel Tower for Clydeside this year, but I was to be bound for the bright lights of Stonehaven, sausage rolls in hand.

I had my doubts, but as time runs out on 2000, the prospect of a fiery start to the New Year in a fishing town close to my parents' birthplace is increasingly attractive. Drink? I've got a hipflask of whisky packed, along with a tupperware box of chipolatas. Fireworks? They're for softies. Knees up? Give me a dashing white sergeant, followed by some burning balls any day. New Year's resolution? Never make promises on the cusp of a new millennium without expecting to keep them.

Copyright 2000
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