YOU MEET THE BEST FOLKS AT YOUR FAVORITE COP SHOP

Back when Hugh Grant was arrested with Divine Brown, the world acted shocked, shocked that such a thing could happen.

We have short memories, people. In a forthcoming book titled "Mug Shots," author George Seminara points out that many celebrities have been booked, Dano.

Three notables: Al Pacino, then 20, was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon; Jane Fonda, at 32, was arrested for drug smuggling and assault on a policeman; Suzanne Somers, at 24, was popped for writing bad checks.

Pacino was quickly released, Fonda (photographed with raised fist) had the charges dropped and Somers avoided prosecution by paying back the money.

"Celebrities look alike," Seminara says, "and they smack around their wives and girlfriends a lot."

Loose talk

Roseanne on the '50s love goddess: She was "more sexy than Pamela Lee or whoever else they've got out (in Hollywood) these days. Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. That says it all."

His career is sleeping with The Fish

Abe Vigoda turns 75 today.

Only thing worse would be if you didn't care

The quote: "Only in America can you get on Larry King and talk about a book you didn't write and haven't read." The speaker: Paul Begala, former adviser to Bill Clinton. The occasion: Begala is suspected of being "Anonymous," author of the best-selling novel "Primary Colors."

Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have stale tea

Political commentator George F. Will was roundly booed last year when he slammed the raising of tariffs on Japanese luxury cars just as his wife, Mari Maseng, was getting paid $200,000 to lobby for the Japanese Automobile Manufacturers Association. More recently, Will was highly critical of Pat Buchanan while Maseng was busy writing speeches for fellow Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole. "It's a tempest in an extremely stale teapot," Will said.

Like two Rovers smashing in the night. . .

Barry Manilow was involved in four-vehicle accident Tuesday when his 1993 Range Rover ran afoul of a rain-soaked Los Angeles highway. Manilow, 49, was unhurt and, according to his spokesman, "spent an hour on the side of the road signing autographs for other motorists."

Where, one imagines, he hit his marks in one take, too

In the comedy "Hot Shots!" says Jon Cryer, Charlie Sheen would "show up an hour late, in a convertible with a porn star in the back seat, yet still wham! he'd hit his marks, hit his lines, and get everything right on the first take. Then wham! he'd be gone..."

Or even, say, a few years later than that - OK?

So why did teen actress Natalie Portman ("Beautiful Girls") turn down the title role in Adrian Lyne's remake of "Lolita"? Says her mother, "I don't want her to have some sexual scene at the age of 14 that she may not experience in life until she's 17."

Copyright 1996 Cowles Publishing Company
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.