Family time: Today's most pressing need

Despite the myriad technical and electronic marvels that were supposed to give all of us great gobs of extra time, most families feel pressed to the limit-functioning at full speed, yet still falling behind.

Gone are the days when families gathered for a leisurely meal around the evening dinner table-mom and dad sharing the day's events, kids chattering about school.

Today, even among families who attempt to sit down together, dinner is more likely to be an eat-and-dash encounter, each member on his or her own separate track. With variations, here's a scene that's typical for countless families:

"Gotta go," Mom says, gulping the last bite of supper. "Another one of those executive meetings the boss insists on."

Young Jimmy glances from mom to dad. "Who's going to take me to my karate lesson?"

"I've got reports to write," dad reminds him. "Maybe Sara can take you."

Daughter Sara looks up from several pages of text she's been studying throughout dinner. "No way," she says. "There's a play rehearsal at school tonight, and I'm late already."

And so it goes . . .

For years, marriage and family counselors have urged that parents spend more "quality time" (a term that has become a cliche) with their kids and that husbands and wives reserve an interval each week just for each other.

Sounds so simple? Right! All you have to do is pull the cord on the computer, tear the telephone out of the wall, then hang a sign on the front door that reads QUARANTINE."

Yet, there's an easier way. Long ago, we discovered that nothing works better for creating uninterrupted family time than a camping trip. Every family who owns an RV has the means, right at hand, for forming closer bonds. Nothing else can compare.

"How'd the day go?" I'd regularly ask my kids when they came home. Their response: usually a hurried "OK"-and that was that. But on a camping trip it was entirely different.

Beneath a blanket of stars, we'd sit around the campfire for hours, discovering more about our children's interests-their hopes and dreams-than would ever have been possible at home.

Camping before RVs became as common as they are now meant tenting. Today, family camping is far easier-and far more essential. Yet, even with an RV, finding time for a weekend trip (or the yearly holiday) requires a little strategy. Here are a few shortcuts that seem to help:

When you have a family trip coming up, keep this in mind as you do your regular weekly shopping. Work out a menu for camp meals. (Keep it simple!) Then add these items to your usual grocery list-eliminating a second run to the market and the loss of an hour from your busy life.

Although initially it costs more to supply your RV with separate sets of pots, knives, cooking utensils, tableware etc., it pays big dividends as a time saver. Keep a supply of such non-perishables as soap, paper towels and toilet paper in your vehicle. Also include inexpensive towels and washcloths. To avoid the chore of hauling linens from the house every time we go on a trip, I store older sheets and blankets in our rig and keep one or more beds made up.

Maintain a basic list of all the items you and your family usually need when you travel. Then it's easy to add those you'll want for a specific destination-like bathing suits if you're headed for the beach. In the week before your planned trip (if you're lucky enough to have your RV parked nearby), take a couple of minutes each day to throw a few things in your rig. By the time departure day rolls around, you'll be nearly packed.

Now that we are enjoying our second generation of campers (children of our children), we find that, in many ways, not much has changed. Needs of the very young remain constant. So does their awed delight in the kind of experiences camping offers: a chipmunk hiding its acorns or an army of ants parading up a tree.

Over the years, we've learned that for a successful trip with little kids it's essential to give them a sense of security. A young child should bring along his "blanky" and a favorite toy to sleep with. As much as possible, we try to serve familiar foods that kids enjoy.

As children grow, it's important for them to take part in the planning and preparation for trips. (Obviously, if you're involved in a project, you're far more likely to be interested.) Even 5year-olds can help carry food and other items out to the RV At 10, they can fill the water tank, and pack their own clothes.

With teenagers, involving them in every aspect of the trip is doubly essential. Teens who are unhappy with the idea of a weekend or more away from friends and television, can develop fresh enthusiasm when they're in charge of arrangements.

It's easy to be fooled by the appearance of bored sophistication typical of many of today's teens. Yet, when they are away from contemporaries that they're anxious to impress, surprisingly, kids are often willing to reveal the immature child within. (We're amused on camping trips when our teenage grandchildren insist on playing juvenile games like "hangman," enjoyed years earlier. As their mom says, "They wouldn't be caught dead doing this if friends were around.") Camping gives kids a reprieve, creating an atmosphere where they can feel comfortable being themselves-even disclosing some of their deeper concerns.

Ads for weekend getaways, appealing to over-worked, over-stressed couples, abound. Accompanied by soft music, the sound of gulls or the chirp of crickets, they promise that for "only" $200 a night (or more) you can be transported into a world of peace and quiet.

RVers can do all this and more for the cost of a few gallons of gasoline. Family time is vital, but so is time alone together. There's nothing wrong with leaving the kids with Granny or a good baby-sitter to slip away for a couple of days. "We're so busy with work and kids," one friend has said, "that a weekend away gives us a chance to get acquainted all over again."

In an increasingly automated, impersonal world, couples as well as parents and their children need each other more than ever. Camping trips offer families one of the finest opportunities for meeting this need.

Copyright T L Enterprises, Inc. Feb 1999
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