Dead man writing; Open your mind

CONGRATULATIONS to all the women who ran (or walked) the Glasgow 5k in aid of cancer charities. Among the runners were Elaine C Smith, who is very generous with her time when it comes to cancer and frequently drops me a thoughtful line, telling me, to keep my chin up. Pauline, my former partner, also took part and has been bitten by the running bug. There is a 10k run at the end of the summer and she is now training for that. Even if you just walked the 5k, it is five more than I could, so well done.

I have been upsetting people again. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that a close relative was upset after a mammogram. This caused a flood of emails defending the need for mammograms and the good work done by the trained staff who operate the machines. May I apologise for any distress this may have caused but the traumatic part was not the mammogram but the horrible long wait where she did not know if she had cancer or not. I never have a bad word to say about nurses, who I feel carry the whole burden of the NHS on their shoulders, which must grind down their morale.

On my last visit to the hospice in Ayr, I discovered that one of the nurses who treated me on a regular basis had left to join the police. I feel this is a terrible loss and she will be sorely missed.

I have written a lot about the inadequacies of the NHS in Scotland recently but I was still surprised to see my story appearing in a Scottish Sunday tabloid. Someone decided to follow up one of my stories. It also must have rankled with the Scottish Parliament because nurses themselves are usually barred from speaking to the press.

I had a weird dream the other night, involving my first real girlfriend. They say you never forget your first love but, to be honest, my last love has been by far the hardest to get over. We are still friends, but as her social circle widens and she meets new people, new boyfriends, I sit in my room and wonder "What if ..."

I have friends who still love their first girlfriend. I was really upset when my first relationship broke up and I lost the girl to an older man with his own place and a fancy car. I was struggling at uni, lived with my parents and drove a VW Beetle. No contest, if you are into the whole money thing. It took a while to get over being dumped but, as I grew older, I realised that I was still in love with the person I met all those years ago, but that that person did not exist any more. Once I got my head around this, I no longer had a broken heart.

This would be my advice to those teenagers dabbling in romance for the first time: it's fun, great while it lasts, but there are plenty, and I mean plenty, of fish in the sea. Unfortunately my particular ocean has no fish. It must be the pollution or something.

Meanwhile, there is a storm brewing in the world of cancer treatment. On one side you have the doctors, consultants and even patients who decry and abhor "alternative" therapies. They feel that chemotherapy, radiotherapy and surgery are the only options open to cancer sufferers. On the other side, but not so dismissive of conventional therapies, are the practitioners of these so-called alternative therapies. There seems to have been an explosion of people claiming to be therapists; reiki, reflexology, kineseology, aromatherapy and acupuncture, to name but a few.

There was recently an alternative medicine fair in Ayr town hall. I went with a friend and was astounded by all the different methods of healing on display.

Did you know that your "lifeforce" can be photographed and displayed as a colour? Or that there are crystals which re-align your body's energy? You could have spent hundreds of pounds on all the unusual wares on show.

As I have tried both approaches, I am sitting firmly on the fence. I can afford to: my GP is also an acupuncturist and my alternative medicine consultant also sees the benefit in conventional medicine. I trust both of them implicitly and reckon this lets me attack the cancer from two angles. I just worry that the charlatans that are springing up will colour the reputation and integrity of genuine healers.

As it is, my recent course of acupuncture seems to have helped my sciatica. No more tormented midnight walks through the house, no more frustrated tears of pain. I have another appointment tomorrow. Fingers crossed ...u You can email Jonathan at Deadherald@aol.com

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