SOPHIE: GRANDEST ROYAL OF THEM ALL

SOMEONE really should have a word in the Countess of Wessex's ear... this just isn't the way the Royals behave any more.

While the rest of the family are desperately trying to develop the common touch, Prince Edward's wife Sophie is going in the opposite direction.

Her regal airs and graces were on full display yesterday as she undertook her first solo engagement as goodwill ambassador for the Queen.

She appeared among the kids at a pre-school spring fair in Surrey wearing a military-style tweed jacket, formal navy skirt and pearls.

She looked like a younger version of Margaret Thatcher, complete with the haughty posture which always makes her look as though her entire body, as well as her hair, has been sprayed with lacquer.

From the moment Sophie emerged from her car, with her practised wave and well-rehearsed smile, the words written in the invisible thought bubble above her head seemed to be: "I'm here, I'm Royal, and you are very lucky to be in my presence."

With a Diana-style hairdo so rigid it would take a Force 10 gale to put a strand out of place, she beamed at her welcoming public. "Hell-ooo," she gushed. "How lovely to see you all."

The 50 kids at the Heatherside Pre-School in Frimley lined up to meet her were eager, happy and carefree. But Sophie moved through them with all the tick-tock precision of a Swiss-made watch. There wasn't any of the spontaneity that Diana did so well.

Sophie seemed to think that just being there was enough. What she doesn't appear to realise is that you don't automatically get respect just because you've married a prince. These days you have to earn it. And you don't earn it by walking through life with your nose permanently turned up at an angle of 45 degrees.

Let's not forget that before Sophie met Prince Edward, she had no royal connections whatsoever.

Yes, she is the product of a well-off, middle-class Home Counties upbringing - but her background is certainly not aristocratic.

In fact her father, Christopher, is a former car salesman who once sold tyres to Eastern Europe, while her mother, Mary, brought her up in their pounds 200,000 Victorian farmhouse near Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

Sophie's best friend at secretarial college, Jo Last, revealed how the two girls would go out after morning lectures and gossip about boys and eat crisp sandwiches and half a Bounty bar each for lunch - a far cry from the banquets she now attends.

Since being ordered by the Queen to give up their disastrous business careers, Sophie and husband Edward been given an extra pounds 250,000 to trek round the world as her emissaries. Nice work if you can get it.

In an exclusive Sunday Mirror poll earlier this month, she and Edward were voted the royals who have contributed least to a positive image of the Royal Family.

Sophie's prime concern on her engagements seems to be to retain her dignity. At a visit to a nursery school, with the children around her busying themselves splashing water-colours on paper, Sophie was clearly anxious that none of the paint should get on her designer suit.

Already aides are beginning to cringe at her arrogance and condescending manner. And not only aides. While she has ingratiated herself with the Queen and Prince Philip, Charles is less impressed by her over-familiar style.

After the Queen Mother's death, she talked to well-wishers in front of TV cameras about "Prince Charles". He snapped to an aide: "If my sister- in-law expects me to get on with her, could someone tell her my name is the Prince of Wales."

But what has irked some of the royals more than anything is Sophie's penchant for pushing herself forward at every available opportunity - sometimes literally. On a recent balcony appearance she even shoehorned herself to the front, next to Queen and Prince Philip.

The Queen and Philip ignore her pushiness because Edward and Sophie's marriage is the only one among their children which has lasted.

The former PR girl is always quick to see a picture opportunity which will get her to the fore - whether it is inspecting the Queen Mother's flowers or twanging a bow at an archery demonstration.

Sophie has also taken to affecting a grand way of speaking. At Prince Andrew's 40th birthday she asked Fergie sniffily: "What we want to know is what it is you really want?" Fergie was speechless but smiled and said "to have a great night."

A partygoer said later: "Sarah wanted to tell her where to go. She was so condescending. Did she mean, 'we' the nation, 'we' the Royal Family or 'we' Edward and I?"

On another occasion at Balmoral she told a guest that she really should change into something smarter before church. She then feigned mock weariness and said: "Oh God, we're going to have to wave at the public again."

Sophie so wants to win favour she has taken up carriage-driving, Prince Philip's favourite hobby, and even takes lessons off him.

She has grandiose plans, recently demanding extra butlers, a chef and equerries for her new Buckingham Palace suite.

Her new role as roving emissary for the Queen will take her on countless foreign trips from which she will return laden with gifts from heads of state and dignitaries. She has told friends that she'll have plenty of space for them as she's creating Chinese, Indian and Oriental themed rooms at her and Edward's 50-room Bagshot mansion.

But yesterday Sophie never once slipped out of her role as the perfectly behaved, rather aloof royal. At least one well-wisher was so impressed by her royal demeanour she mistook her for the Queen herself - but little Anna Williamson is only four years old.

"She's so little she doesn't really understand the difference between the Queen and a Countess," said Anna's mum Fiona, 38.

Trouble is, neither does Sophie.

s.martin@sundaymirror.co.uk

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