Every cloud has its silver linings - and Bush is a big cloud

Michael Moore tries to look on the brighter side of the new administration - and takes comfort in the thought that Bush will be too busy playing video games to preside Dear friends, Hail to the Thief! On this dark, dark day in American history, I prefer to see the next White House as being half full instead of half empty!

That's just the kind of kooky optimist I am. Instead of brooding over the antics of our Supreme Court jesters, I'd rather focus on what makes this country great. Such as all that hooey our seventh- grade civics teacher told us about how anyone can become president of the United States. She was right! It's true! Anyone just became president. Let this be a lesson to my younger readers - listen to your teachers!

You know, I always like it when life is a win-win situation. Gore won the "popular" vote, so I guess that means Bush won the unpopular vote! Everyone goes home with something.

OK, put away that Gillette double-edged razor and flush those sleeping pills down the toilet - tonight is a night for celebration! It's time to count our blessings, to thank the Lord for what we have been given, to reach out and touch someone, to To make a list! A list of all the silver linings in this cloud on its way from Austin to DC Yes, there are a number of good things that will come out of all this madness.

Consider these silver linings:

Silver lining number one:

Someone is going to count those votes in Florida.

That's right. Thanks to one of the best Freedom of Information Act laws in the country, any citizen or media outlet in Florida may demand to have the election ballots hand-counted.

The Miami Herald has already filed their request. If they don't do it, I will. Within the next month or so, this one truth will be proven and revealed: Gore got more votes than Bush in Florida. Gore won. Which will lead us to our next silver lining Silver lining number two:

The Bush presidency will be crippled.

The nation will know Baby Bush only as an illegitimate president. He will be nothing more than an illegal squatter in the Oval Office. Not only will he have no popular mandate, he will have no business being there. He will get little or nothing done. Put a fork in his administration. It's cooked before they even have the parade.

Silver lining number three:

George W. Bush likes naps, video games and taking the day off to go fishing.

We can be sure that Bush is just lazy enough and just dumb enough so that he won't find the time to do too much damage to the country or the world. The people to keep an eye on will be the cabal he brings to Washington with him. They will require the rest of us to give up napping or going fishing. The video games we keep.

Silver lining number four:

Everyone finally knows the awful truth: "one person, one vote" is a lie.

Good. Now we can do something about it. We need a system of proportional representation. That would guarantee that everyone's voice is heard. Remember that other civics lesson - "majority rule, minority rights"?

Proportional representation means if your party got 10% of the vote, you get 10% of the seats. A number of local governments in the US have switched to this much fairer and representative system. In the meantime, we have our best chance now to dump the Electoral College (or, at the very least, reform it so that every states' electors are proportioned to the percentage each candidate got).

Silver lining number five:

We will never have to look at James Baker or Warren Christopher again.

'Nuff said.

Silver lining number six:

With Bush in the White House, evil has no mask.

From now on, unlike during the Clinton-Gore years, when the poor are forced into greater hardships, when the innocent are executed, when our First Amendment rights are stripped from us, when our family's jobs are shipped to sweatshops overseas, when a record number of personal bankruptcies continues to rise, when abortion remains unavailable in 86% of the counties in the country, the liberals and Democrats will not sit silently by.

It's hard for them to organize any real opposition to a Democrat in the White House - "I mean, he's one of us! At least he's not a Republican! We must support him against those evil Republicans!"

Bush won't get away with it. Liberals and Democrats will be forced to finally take a stand.

All will be well until the next election. Sleep tight, my friends, and don't let the bogeyman scare you. It's only a dream it's only a dream www.michaelmoore.com

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