Micky had planned to dress up as Santa for little Liam's first

TWO weeks before his first child was born, stockbroker Micky Cunningham decided he wanted to buy a Santa Claus suit.

It didn't matter to him that it was only August... he wanted everything to be magical for his new baby.

"I tried to tell Micky that the baby would be too young to appreciate his efforts but he was having none of it," says his wife Teresa. "He would just put his Santa Claus suit on and practise his routine."

Tragically, little Liam - who was born on August 29 - will never get to see his father in the Santa suit.

He was just 13 days old when his dad was killed in the World Trade Center disaster.

Micky, who moved to America from his home town of Barkingside, Essex, 11 years ago, was in his office on the 84th floor of the South Tower when it was struck by the second aircraft.

He had been off for two weeks on paternity leave but was called into the office to deal with some urgent business.

He had kissed baby Liam on the forehead and hugged Teresa before he left, telling her he would be home soon. She never saw him again. As she speaks Teresa cradles baby Liam in her arms. She had lived an idyllic life with Micky in a beautiful house in Princeton, New Jersey.

Now the house seems empty without him. "This was meant to be our first Christmas as a family," Teresa, 36, says.

"All Micky wanted was for our son's first Christmas to be a special one."

Micky would have celebrated his 40th birthday this Christmas Eve. Teresa had secretly planned to make his birthday extra special too.

"Micky had always dreamt of spending the run-up to Christmas somewhere warm and sunny with me and our family."

Without telling her husband, Teresa had booked a surprise holiday for the three of them in the Bahamas and invited 20 of Micky's friends to join them.

"I had been planning it for weeks and weeks," she says. "We were going to pack a case for myself, Liam and Micky and drive him to the airport.

"We were then due to jet off for a wonderful holiday in paradise. Micky would have really loved it. He didn't have a clue what I was planning. Now I half wish I had told him." When Micky died, a resilient Teresa and her friends decided to turn the holiday into a wake instead.

She recalls: "We made the holiday a celebration of Micky's life. But it was so hard being there knowing how much he would have enjoyed himself

"All his close friends came and we just imagined that he was there with us on the beach, sunbathing, fooling around and joking as always."

Now Christmas will be a far cry from the idyllic celebration she had planned.

This week she and Liam flew to England to spend the festive season with Micky's father, three brothers and two sisters in Barkingside.

Yesterday the family gathered for a special memorial service at their local church for the man who never forgot his British home.

Teresa says: "It seems so strange to be mourning Micky at his favourite time of year. He always said he would spare no expense to make sure me and our kids would have the best Christmases ever.

"I cannot celebrate. I haven't bought a tree and I threw Micky's Santa outfit away because I couldn't bear to look at it. It just breaks my heart to think of how Micky would have held our son on Christmas morning.

"I cry when I think of Micky singing his favourite West Ham anthem, Blowing Bubbles - he used to sing it to my tummy when I was pregnant.

HE was there throughout Liam's birth and he held him for a full hour after he was born.

"When Liam began gurgling and blowing little bubbles out of his mouth, Micky's eyes lit up and he launched into the song at the top of his voice. All the nursing staff were falling around laughing. There was a look of total joy in his eyes that I had never seen before."

Securities trader Micky, who worked for the London-based firm Euro Brokers, was one of 60 of the firm's employees who perished in the September 11 massacre in New York.

Micky loved Manhattan but was determined his little boy would visit England as much as possible.

He had even bought three tiny West Ham strips for Liam - one for when he was six months, one for 12 months and another for when he was two.

"Micky fell in love with the States, but he was an Essex boy at heart," says Teresa. "And he definitely never lost his English sense of humour.

"But just before he died he told me his home was well and truly on this side of the Atlantic with me and our child.

"He wanted to visit England regularly with Liam when he got older, but he wanted him to grow up here in the States.

"His greatest dream was for Liam to go to Princeton University and for his son to see as much of the world as possible."

Teresa adds: "I'm going to make sure that Micky's hopes and dreams for Liam are carried out. It'll be tough on my own, but I'll make it happen."

Yesterday's service was the second to be held in memory of Micky, whose remains have never been found.

The first was combined with Liam's christening in New Jersey, days after the disaster.

Teresa recalls: "It was a beautiful but bittersweet service. On the one hand, I wanted to mourn my husband, but I also wanted to celebrate our son's baptism.

"There wasn't a dry eye in the house. It is only now that I'm starting to accept that Micky will never be coming home.

"The whole thing is still surreal and horrific. I can't even have a proper funeral for him. So far we have nothing to bury."

Teresa constantly replays the last conversation she had with her husband over in her mind. The first tower had been hit and Micky assured her in a frantic phone call that he was getting out of the danger zone.

"He told me not to worry about what was on the news because they were evacuating the second building and that he was OK," she says.

"Then I got another phone call from Micky saying that the second plane had crashed close to their floor and they were having difficulty getting out.

"I didn't hear from him again after that. The whole morning was a blur, and all I can remember is dozens of frantic phone calls from Micky's friends and family trying to find out if he was OK.

"As the hours wore on, I began to fear the worst. I just clutched Liam tightly and tried to believe that everything was going to be OK." Little Liam will never know his father but Teresa is determined to preserve his memory.

She says: "His favourite songs were Life On Mars by David Bowie and any disco tune you could think of.

"He was so fanatical about it that he had every song on CD, carefully filed away in his office.

"I'm making a time capsule for Liam with pictures of Micky and press clippings from September 11 so that he understands that his daddy did nothing wrong.

"He just went to work one day and didn't come home."

Teresa, an American who was born in Japan, is at least grateful that Micky's life insurance payout and their savings mean that she can afford to stay in the luxurious five-bedroom home, complete with a swimming pool and a gym, that Micky had bought before his death. "It was really important to Micky that Liam lived in a safe place and went to a good school, so I'm staying in our family home in Princeton," she says.

"I'll use our savings to make sure that Liam has as normal a childhood as I can give him.

"He will also be well aware of how brave and kind his daddy was."

Teresa knows she will never meet anyone to love her as much as Micky did.

"I want the world to remember what a wonderful and loving man Micky was, and that he was just one of thousands of mums and dads killed in this atrocity," she continues.

"Their only crime was going to work that terrible morning.

"Micky was a grateful, happy, generous person who worked hard for everything that he had, and he shared it willingly with everyone around him.

"He led a life filled with joy, but I know that his happiest days were the 13 days he spent with Liam."

During her pregnancy Micky attended every ante-natal class and had collected a library full of books on child development.

"He had read so many books on childbirth that he seemed to know more than some of the nurses in the hospital," Teresa says.

"I just miss him so much," she adds, holding a picture of him while cradling baby Liam.

"He wanted to be the best dad in the world. That chance was taken away from him on September 11.

"He came to every birthing class and no matter how busy he was at work, he would drop everything to be with me.

"He held my hand every step of the way during the labour and was delirious about having a son.

"I couldn't have done it without him. When Liam arrived his face just lit up. I will never forget that wonderful image.

I INSISTED that he held the baby before I did, and he gently cradled his new son for a full hour, without taking his eyes off him for even a moment."

After the birth, Micky presented Liam with a teddy bear birthday card.

The tender words he wrote inside cause tears to well up in Teresa's eyes as she opens the card to read them.

"To my dearest Liam,

You have brought me so much pleasure by your coming into this world.

I will cherish, love and adore you from here on in. So get used to it!

Happy Birthday, Daddy."

But Osama Bin Laden's terrorists have made sure that Micky will never be able to fulfil his promises to his son.

Copyright 2001 MGN LTD
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.