Discover own ways to help harmonize work, family life

As a work and family researcher, I have taken the opportunity to ask many men and women how they harmonize the demands of the workplace with the needs of their home. Here is a smattering of what I have learned:

A mother was concerned that her young teenagers were home after school without anyone to monitor their activities between 3:30 and 5:30 p.m. each day. She did her best by taking advantage of her employer's telecommuting program. She worked in the office until 3 p.m. and then finished out the day working on her laptop at home. By working at home she could monitor her adolescents' activities.

Another father is a nationally recognized motivational speaker who did more than 200 speeches around the world last year. He does his best by transacting all of his business on his laptop while on the plane. That way, when he's at home he can focus exclusively on is family.

A female manager colleague is a rising star in a major

corporation. She wanted to be more involved with her two children. So, she did her best by approaching her management and requesting a part-time work schedule. The request was granted, and she now manages with great focus and urgency from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. each day, and then she goes home to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening being an active mother and wife.

While traveling on business, one mother did her best to keep on top of her elementary school-age children's homework by using the hotel fax.

Her children would fax their completed assignments, and she would review their progress over the phone. They also exchanged handwritten notes, poetry and pictures in this way.

Let me conclude with a personal example. A few years ago, I found myself being drained by a 90-minute daily commute through heavy traffic. In the spirit of "doing my best," I decided to think outside the box and try something new.

I took a back road to work, which was much less traveled but took about five minutes longer. Then I brought along a little handheld cassette and started recording bedtime stories for my children. I could almost imagine them sitting in the back seat in their jammies. This made the time pass quickly, and I would arrive at work and at home refreshed. The kids loved the tapes and have listened to them many, many times over the years.

E. Jeffrey Hill is an associate professor in Brigham Young University's Marriage, Family and Human Development Department and is a research associate for the BYU Family Studies Center.

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