Joyless, dirty and uncool . . . can they mean us?

A JOYLESS, decaying place where the locals are more likely to attack you than extend a welcome. This may sound like some nightmarish city in eastern Europe but in fact it is London, as described in the latest Lonely Planet guide book.

While recognising London's continuing allure for tourists, the guide is scathing on many aspects of life in the city. Londoners, the guide advises, would "no more speak to a stranger in the street than fly to the moon".

It warns tourists exploring on foot: "When a yobbo in a car - radio on full blast, mobile glued to the ear, indicator controls untouched - nearly runs you over at a pedestrian crossing and you protest, he dissolves into road rage as only Londoners know it."

There is also the problem of rough-sleepers: "The number of homeless is a stain on the rich robes of this, Europe's richest city."

Last year the Lonely Planet Guide to Britain described London as " horribly overcrowded" and full of "lager louts".

This year the guide says: London can hardly be called 'cool' when most pubs and many restaurants close as the rest of Europe is choosing its first course; Trafalgar Square pigeons are "dirty, flying rats"; Oxford Street visitors have to "run the gauntlet of permanent closing down sales"; There are pockets of bigotry all over the capital Visits to Buckingham Palace are "overpriced and disappointing".

The guide describes the public transport system as an "exhausting, debasing grind".

Yet, it says, the Tube continues to be cited by visitors as one of the highlights of a trip here.

Despite the criticism the guide says London is still "a world- class city".

Copyright 2002
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