Folio:, The Movie - rated G - Buzz magazine plans to work with Paramount Pictures on making films from print articles - Editorial

Now that Buzz has teamed up with Paramount Pictures to explore the possibilities of turning print features into film fodder, what's to stop any of us from doing the same? (See "Late News.") Sure, Frank Lalli, president of the American Society of Magazine Editors, panned the deal--but, baby, it's pure genius. Try this:

Scene: A modest office in a publishing company. Movie Mogul #1 and his faithful toady, Mogul #2, are meeting with the editor of a trade magazine to discuss editorial features that might lend themselves to the big screen. As the ads for Coca-Cola, Pizza Hut, etc., fade out, we join the meeting in progress.

Mogul #1: Last month you had a story on newsstands, for cryin' out loud. What can we do with that? Nothing!

Mogul #2: It's static. Lacks appeal to the modern movie-goer. We might as well use the surveillance video from Barnes & Noble.

Editor: This month we're taking a look at how employee training programs are making a comeback at publishing companies. They were the first things killed in the recession of '91, but now they're back because the job market is tightening up, and employers want to keep their most promising workers happy.

Mogul #1: That's death! They'll be sleeping in the aisles! I got it. Publishers sending their employees to training--with the Navy Seals! And suddenly, a huge European publisher attacks New York, and the employees have to defend the U.S. magazine industry! I see car chases! Black helicopters around the U.N.! Tina Brown with a bazooka! Efrem Zimbalist III on top of Times Mirror with an anti-aircraft gun!

Editor: I don't think so. We actually have people who pay to read the magazine for the information we provide. If we're not true to our mission, we lose their trust.

Mogul #2: But you're killing us with this line-up! It's all about business trends and ideas for better direct mail. Death!

Editor: If you can't make a movie treatment out of that, how about "The Confessions of St. Augustine"? I hear it's in the public domain.

Mogul #1: Yeah, I heard some good stuff about it at Sundance. No copyright, you think? Where can I get it?

Editor: Try Barnes & Noble.

Okay, so it's not the stuff movies are made of. That's why people pay for magazines--to read more about it, as it actually happened, or really is. They have faith that the story's true, because it's in your magazine. They trust what you and your advertisers are telling them.

But if something, anything, happens to shake their trust in what they're reading in your magazine--say, massive car collisions occur as lawyers look for more people to join a class action suit against AFP--you've lost them. And it's going to be a long time before they give you another chance.

Ciao, baby.

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