Think Menopausitive

The red coats have landed!

They fan out across our white beaches

o no my clean clothes, not again!

To the barricades, o whitewashed army!

In the name of freedom

take up your pads!

Hoist pantyshields on high!

Take wings! Tamp ON!

At hist the monthly clash subsides

The curse lifts, the troops lay down their

arms

Soon it takes place only

periodically.

Logic shifts:

Then: No period baby

Or: Period no baby

Now: No period

No baby

Period

Periods

mark the ends of cycles and sentences

This sentence

ends

with no baby AND no period

period

O no not again and I just put them on!

Who will love you now

love this bleeding, farting thing

this bag of shattered bonos

the caving feet crumbling back

raveled joints

No sleep? Relax!

you're switching over to Estradiol

And, unlike salmon,

you'll live to raise

any child you have at 50

to an adult

O no a spot on the restaurant's silk chair!

Nature to the rescue!

With the change, the climacteric peak

when menses cease

when eggs no longer drop & roll

Yes, just think menopausitive!

When men, perverse as usual

denounced your new virginity

cling to their natural advantage

& clamour for the big bellied women

they can

knock up

(for what is potency without potential?)

Just say, lover, over here!

Sex without fear! Come and get it boys!

You're safe with me

for I can offer you no progeny!

Yes, lay down your arms.

Farewell, slim regular super plus

plastic paper NO

applicator!

Be gone deodorant/unscented

love over with/without wings!

Dry weave mince/thin ultra plus long

mini maxi pad!

No more New Freedom Stayfree Carefree

Always Sure and Natural with the

Dryweave Topsheet!

Shed those ultra-thin Always Ultra Maxis!

Out out Always Ultra Plus Long Maxi

with Wings!

Never again ultra-absorbent lockaway

corse!

No belts

No pins

No pads

No twist

No accordion

No tabs!

Goodbye goodbye goodbye!

Age has released us

to live on unbloodied and unbowed

Free & clean

with our brand new natural

feminine hygiene.

Copyright Initiatives for Women's Health, Inc. Jan/Feb 2003
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved