Emotional Intelligence / The Space Between Us: Exploring the Dimensions of Human Relationships

Ruthellen Josselson. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 1996. 292 pp. $19.50.

On rare occasions one is fortunate enough to stumble upon two books, which, though seemingly unrelated, together coalesce into a more coherent and complementary presentation of their subject matter than would either alone. Thus, a combined review of these two books, in an effort to correlate their subject matter, engenders a delightful synergy between important topics.

The first, The Space Between Us, was previously and favorably reviewed in this journal but has recently been reissued by a new publisher. And Goleman's enormously popular Emotional Intelligence has had a long run on best-seller lists. The latter book begs the mind's attention to emotions, whereas the former affirms the heart and soul of human relationships. Emotional Intelligence uses broad stokes to cover an important but long-neglected subject. The Space Between Us is better written, appealing to both our emotions and sense of relationship with others.

Both books examine phenomena connected to the art of human relating. Josselson immerses us into the nuances of the bonds and emotions that bind us together. Goleman, on the other hand, touches that same topic but takes a more cognitive focus on the properties and attributes of individuals and the individual mind.

Emotional Intelligence has received and deserves wide attention. Basing his definition of emotional intelligence and main theses on the work of others, Goleman suggests five domains or expressions of emotional intelligence: selfawareness, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing emotions in others, and managing emotions in others. Although the last term struck me initially as somewhat controlling and manipulative, the concept is referred to later as "handling emotions in others."

The book begins with a rather cerebral, dispassionate presentation about the neural circuitry linked to emotionality and sensory input and the likely development and purpose of emotion in the evolution of humans. Goleman suggests that the human brain has two memory systems-one for ordinary facts and another for emotionally charged ones. Drawing from research, Goleman also suggests that the emotional makeup of humans is formed via contacts between infant and caretakers and that much of this stored information is ineffable because it was formed before the individual had the language abilities to express it.

Goleman suggests that emotional intelligence is a meta-ability that determines how well people are able to use other mental capacities. He relates stories about persons whose neural circuitry has been surgically damaged. They can still achieve intelligence-test levels consistent with those achieved before the surgery, but they lose their ability to make decisions. Without emotions, their intellect is not well utilized. Goleman suggests that people who are able to synchronize their emotions with others make good teachers and parents.

It seemed odd to me that Goleman makes no reference to the interesting studies of Condon (1978), who suggested the possibility of an innate neurological basis for the harmonious and rhythmic interplay of people's movements, their relating, and their affect. Josselson, who uses terms and concepts similar to those used by Condon, also does not refer to his work.

Goleman supports his thesis that knowing oneself is part of emotional intelligence and that control of passions is necessary for optimal functioning by exploring the roots of empathy and the art of being social. He relates emotional intelligence to management and to the health and medicine fields. Goleman believes that if we are to remedy problems such as depression, school failure, and stress we must devote as much attention to the emotional part of the mind as we do to the cognitive and intellectual.

Josselson's The Space between Us is a joy to read. I've recommended this book to many students and friends who appreciate the art of relating and wish to understand, via language, that which they have intuitively sensed. The following passage evokes the book's perhaps unintended spirituality as well as gives a sample of Josselson's use of language.

Through our experience, we are "connected" in the same way to another person and therefore to the stream of human existence. In this sense of us-a participation in the space between a you and a me-that affords us a deeper and richer sense of our existence . . . mutuality, then, does not exist only in the presence of someone, mutuality changes our way of experiencing. Josselson's writing echoes the tenor of Martin Buber's thought in a refreshing and readable manner. Her attention to the narrative and empathetic knowing of people serves to bring a much needed appreciation of "the space between us" and the ties that bind us.

Josselson explores holding, attachment, eye-to-eye validation, idealization and identification, mutuality and resonance, and tending, using case examples or situations to clarify the concepts. Implicit in Josselson's writing is that such matters cannot be well apprehended without due attention being paid to the empathic and subjective understanding of others.

Both books bring a needed focus on the role of emotions in human reasoning, behavior, and interactions. Although the books take different approaches, they present alternative paths to a similar goal.

William E. Powell Department of Social Work University of Wisconsin-Whitewater Whitewater, Wisconsin

Copyright Family Service America Jan/Feb 1997
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved