Graduating student to enter work force at home

When I started back to school three years ago at the age of 33, I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I had narrowed it down a little bit, based on my interest in the written word and prior job experience, but I had no clear-cut idea of how I would use my degree.

I think I hoped that some mysterious person would knock on my door the day after graduation and tell me, "We want to hire you to be creative. Here's a lot of money, a list of our outstanding benefits, and tickets to your employee orientation, which will be held in Paris."

I'm still waiting.

Three years ago, going back to school with no set agenda seemed exciting. I don't regret this approach, but I now realize that the real challenge begins after graduation. It's then you discover if all of the experiences and "head knowledge" accumulated at school will make a difference in your real life.

It's easy to feel conflicted, because education has two very important but philosophically different roles: opening and strengthening your mind, and preparing you to make a living. But even if you never intend to hold a "real job" (a redundancy - name a job that isn't "real"), I think we owe it to ourselves, our kids and society to get as much education as possible. Education is an investment in ourselves that pays dividends to all around us.

One of my primary motivators to finish my bachelor's degree has been my son, Tristan. I want him to see - up close and personal - that education is worth both effort and sacrifice.

Before I returned to school, my husband and I briefly considered whether I should return to work. At that time, another income would have made a big difference to us.

I've never regretted our decision to hang on to my old car, live a few more years in our little brick ranch house and accumulate yet more debt in exchange for my diploma.

During this time, Tris and I have spent many afternoons doing homework together and discussing our studies. Often, when my child care arrangements fell through, my professors allowed Tris accompany me to class, which he loved.

He told me once he was a little bit jealous, because college was a lot more interesting than third grade. (When he said this, the voice of my "inner mom" shouted "Yes!") If returning to school did nothing more than teach my son that learning should be both a blessing and a life-long adventure, it was time well spent.

However, there's also the practical side of an education, as I can't pay the telephone bill with high ideals. Money must be made, and I'm still considering just how I'll join the work force.

Since I want to spend as much time as I can with my son, I've decided to work primarily from home.

I have friends who work as editors, and I'm hoping that some of them will throw free-lance jobs my way. Admittedly, this is not a well-defined plan, but I believe it will work out.

I've also decided to take a year to focus on writing essays, poems and fiction.

I've been scribbling down notes on used envelopes and Happy Meal Bags for years, but I've never written with any set hours or goals. During the next year, I plan to sort through my bulky and ketchup- stained files to see if there is anything worth salvaging.

When I think of the next year as one big independent study project, I feel the same excitement I experienced three years ago when I walked into my first class. It's a little bit scary, but in a good way. I know there will be laughter, and disappointment, discovery and boredom, doubts and adventure.

In other words, the process of education continues, even as I secretly imagine that mysterious stranger with one hand poised to knock on my door, the other hand holding what could be tickets to Paris.

- Robin Murray Krug is an English major at the University of Colorado in Colorado Springs, and will graduate this spring. She has lived and worked in the Springs since 1984.

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