Mongo intervention: how to save your friends from a lifetime of stank foot - Brief Article

STATISTICS SHOW THAT ONE OUT OF THREE SKATERS IS ACQUAINTED WITH someone who, tragically, uses their front foot to push, a mongo-pusher. Although we see their problem, they cannot. We offer help, they refuse. When we talk to them about it, they blame us or pretend not to hear. It feels hopeless, but it isn't. An "intervention" is often the most effective technique friends and families can use to help someone suffering with a shit-foot. It's easy to make fun of your awkward-footed friends, but this doesn't change anything. The challenge lies in actually reforming a mongo. There is hope. An intervention can break through denial and create a moment of clarity for the mongo-footer; it can open the door to treatment and help victims begin rebuilding their pushing technique, as well as their lives. Once you decide to have an intervention, planning and preparation are the keys to success. The following are commonly asked questions regarding the logistics of a mongo intervention

What exactly is a mongo intervention?

Technically, it's defined as a pre-planned gathering of people who work to confront a mongo, who, under normal circumstances, will not confront himself. This is not an emotional ambush or a practical joke. It's a carefully planned process based on a solid foundation of trust, as well as a common distaste for mongoism and the aesthetic damage this disease wreaks on its victim's skate style.

How many people should be involved?

We suggest three to eight people. These are people the mongo-footer loves and respects. They may be fellow skaters, friends, parents, teachers, counselors, and members of the clergy. They should all be people who are important in the mongo's life.

Where's a good place for an intervention?

Avoid holding the intervention at a skate spot or park, as this will only embarrass the victim and lead to further mongoing. Choose an environment where the mongo will feel safe and nurtured. Interventions are typically held at the home of the afflicted, although you might also choose such "neutral" places as a church, a counselor's office, or out behind a dumpster. If possible, provide beverages and nutritious snacks for everyone involved.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The mongo-footer should NOT be informed of your plans to hold an intervention. Insure their arrival at the pre-planned place and time by telling them you're throwing a "party" in their honor.

Once we've settled on a place and time, how exactly do we proceed with the intervention?

At this point, it's important that each member write a short letter or compose a brief monologue detailing the concerns they have about the mongo and his self-destructive pushing behavior. It's important to remember that it isn't entirely the person's fault; mongoism is caused by a combination of genetic inheritance, family upbringing, geographic location, and poor decision-making. Make sure to edit out all blame, anger, and judgment from your personal letters.

Once he arrives, tactfully inform him about the nature of the intervention, and then begin reading your letters, Clearly describe the ways in which you've seen the victim destroying himself with front-foot-pushing. You might also consider showing video footage that depicts the person in embarrassing mongo action.

Won't the mango get angry and leave?

Anger is rarely seen during an intervention that uses a respectful approach. More likely the mongo will become embarrassed or even tearful. However, if the mongo has a history of violence toward others, we advise that you include some of your biggest friends, or consider acquiring the services of a professiona1 interventionist.

Isn't it true that you can't change a mongo unless they want to change?

False. Mongos don't spontaneously decide to get help. Something happens in their life that causes them to want change. Ask yourself this: "If my mongo-foot friend won't change until he wants to change, what will get him to want help?" It can be years of tragedy caused by a crappy skate style, or the caring intervention of friends.

What is the goal of mongo intervention?

The goal is getting the mongo to admit that they have a problem. This is the first step on the road towards a normal, back-foot-pushing recovery.

RELATED ARTICLE: 12 STEPS TO A MONGO-FREE LIFE

If the intervention is successful, and the mongo admits to his problem, it's important that you immediately engage him in Thrasher's 12-step Mongo Treatment Program:

Step 1) Admit you are powerless over your shit-foot, that your skateboarding has become unmanageable.

Step 2) Admit to the skate gods, to yourself, and to another human being the exact nature of your wrong-footedness.

Step 3) Watch Bam Margera's mock-mongo footage in Toy Machine's Jump off a Building, or any video with Bill Danforth. Ask yourself, honestly, if you wish to emulate these particular skate styles for the rest of your life.

Step 4) Come to believe that a complete shedding of your dick-foot is possible, and humbly ask the skate gods to remove your shortcoming.

Step 5) Make a list of persons you've harmed, shins you've dented, and friends you've embarrassed with your silly-footedness.

Step 6) Make amends to such people. Wherever possible, apologize in person. However, if the person lives in another town or refuses to see you because of your past transgressions, you may write them a letter.

Step 7) Avoid spending time at locations where you've grown accustomed to mongoing, such as the top of the pyramid at the skatepark, mall parking lots, and rural areas of the mid-western United States.

Step 8) Discard all accessories associated with your mongo-ness, such as Flyway helmets, cut-off jean shorts, tennis socks, wrist guards, Airwalks, and Marilyn Manson stickers.

Step 9) Similarly, it's essential that you give up all mongo-related tricks, such as roast-beef grabs, early-grab Madonnas, sloppy no-complies, and pressure flips.

Step 10) Put your front foot on the front of your skateboard.

Step 11) Push with your back foot.

Step 12) Congratulations! Now, having transformed your pushing style as a result of these steps, try to carry this message to all others afflicted with mongo-ism.

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