Life has become a living hell ... I'm depressed, I want to give up

PAUL Gascoigne has decided that he will have to quit England to "find some peace" in his life.

He told the world at Bisham Abbey after last week's late-night celebrity pub crawl: "One kebab doesn't make me unfit for France" - but in an exclusive interview the Sunday Mirror reveals a far bleaker insight into Gazza's pre-World Cup state.

He says he nearly moved to the United States earlier in the season to escape the pressures which are driving him mad, and he fears all hell will break loose if England fail to win the World Cup.

GAZZA ON ENGLAND:

"The pressure on us is immense. Especially with the World Cup coming up.

"People in this country don't tolerate failure.

"It's all very well finishing ahead of Italy to qualify but as soon as you lose a friendly the media, the nation, are on your back.

"You don't have much say in the matter. If you fail, you know you're going to get stick.

"Even when we beat Portugal, who are a world-class side, people still had a go.

"It's not easy being a footballer at times, but you just have to live with it.

"But if we fail to do anything in the World Cup we will get slaughtered.

"People expect us to go out and win it and if we don't, all hell will break loose."

GAZZA ON THE FAITH HEALER:

'Eileen Drewery? She's been knocked but nobody's been forced to see her.

"She's there if anyone wants to see her.

"A few of the lads have. If they don't, they don't.

"All Glenn's trying to do is make sure that whoever's picked, their mind is totally concentrated on the World Cup.

"He's trying to give them every best option he can. As for whether I've seen her, it's private. None of your business."

GAZZA ON KEBABS:

"I've got a great lifestyle. I've travelled the world, I've got a couple of nice cars, a few quid in the bank and I really enjoy myself.

"A couple of nights out don't make me a bad footballer.

"I'm getting slaughtered all the time. I can't understand why that happens, just because I go out and have a kebab. What's wrong with a kebab anyway? We're talking about one night."

GAZZA ON THE MEDIA:

"I can't do anything because b*******s like the media who I can't f***ing stand don't give me a life and follow me everywhere I go.

"I go and see my son Regan, who I haven't seen for about a week, and as soon as I come out of the house, there's a photographer.

"If I go down the local pub and have a Perrier water, I'm having a gin and tonic, that sort of stuff.

"At the end of the day, they don't give me a life.

"I try to keep as low a profile as I can.

"But if I just pop down to the pub they say I've been out to a nightclub.

"If I come in at nine in the evening, they say I was out all night until nine the next morning.

"I can't win and it depresses me to the point where I just want to give up.

"It's the media who have made my life unbearable - at times it's a living hell.

"And that's why I tend not to speak to them as much as I would like because they just turn me over all the time."

GAZZA ON 1990:

"I've had some great highlights in my career. Italia '90 was great but not the best because we didn't win it. Since then, I've won an FA Cup winners' medal, and four championships at Rangers.

"I also enjoyed Euro '96. I know we didn't win it but the atmosphere was brilliant.

"And who knows, I might have a World Cup winner's medal this summer.

"I've never watched videos of 1990. That's in the past.

"I always look ahead.

"Now I'm looking forward to whatever's next for me. "I'm still just as keen on football as I was in 1990. It's like Middlesbrough gaining promotion. It tends to get sweeter with age.

"You know if I get picked for the World Cup it's my last chance to win it. I know that's it for me.

"In a way it makes you more determined. You have a greater need to succeed. But it's not just me.

"There are plenty of other players in the same boat like Ian Wright, Paul Ince and Tony Adams. They are just as fired up as I am.

"Chances like this are not going to come around again, not at our age.

"I've had to survive a lot to make it back to the World Cup again.

"First the media, then the injuries, in that order.

"I just think as long as I keep my fitness right, I have the will- power to succeed because I've come back from so many injuries.

"I do have great memories of 1990 but hopefully, if selected, I can make this an even better tournament. But you don't take anything for granted.

"I have to prove myself, prove my fitness and show the manager that I can offer him something nobody else can."

GAZZA ON SELECTION:

"I'm playing for my place in the squad until it is announced on June 1. After that it's anyone's guess who will play in the team.

"At the moment I'm just taking it one day at a time.

"I get enough stick without putting my head on the block.

"I want to play, like everyone else. But the manager will make that decision for me.

'If you're in, you're in, if you're not, you're not.

"It means a lot to me because I get sponsored by Adidas, and if I go to France I get paid more - and that'll do for my next holiday!"

GAZZA ON BORO:

"It was great getting promoted with Middlesbrough - but I never needed to defend my decision to go there.

"The main aim when I went there was to get promoted and that has been achieved.

"But even if we hadn't gone up to the Premiership, I would have stayed with Bryan Robson at Boro and played a season in Division One.

"I knew the situation when I joined Middlesbrough and I took that into account.

"I felt the move was right for my career. It wasn't a gamble. When I was up with Rangers in Scotland I won 15 England caps and I played in Euro '96 when I was there.

"There was no hidden agenda when I left Rangers for Boro, it just happened that way."

GAZZA ON RANGERS:

"I didn't look at Scottish football in the same way everybody else did, trying to knock it all the time. Rangers are a massive club.

"They've beaten all but one of the last 11 Premiership teams they've played. People say they're only friendlies or testimonials but that's not the point.

"It's probably the only club I've ever been at where the team has to be winning at half-time and at full-time. That's what's expected up there and that's what the media expect too.

"That's some pressure to play under, so it was tough being up there. Scottish football gets knocked a lot but as Terry Butcher says... 'Don't knock it until you've tried it.'

"You ask any player. It was a great challenge. If the media didn't knock it so much, Scottish football would end up with more quality players."

GAZZA ON THE STATES:

"I've got three more years left with Middlesbrough and I'll enjoy that, then I'll look forward again.

"If I wanna go to America, I'll go to America - yeah, I'll probably go there. It's in the back of my mind. I nearly went this year but then I opted out.

"For the moment I'm just going to enjoy my time at Boro and then I'll think about it.

"The timing has to be right for me.

"But in America I can relax. I don't get hassled all the time.

"I want some peace in my life, that's what I'm desperate for."

GAZZA ON MANAGEMENT:

"I don't know about becoming a manager. After seeing Walter Smith and Archie Knox and Bryan Robson on the bench, I wonder.

"It seems a tough job. To be honest, I'd probably avoid it. It's bad enough being a player!"

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