Contract J.A.C.K.

If you can catch a shuttle to the new moon colony, do so now. In this standalone No One Lives Forever 2 prequel, Monolith has dropped the ball so soundly, it has penetrated the Earth's mantle and is heading pell-mell for the molten core, thus triggering a planet-destroying catastrophe that will annihilate us all. Spin-offs are a tricky thing, and sadly, Contract J.A.C.K. lies well south of After M*A*S*H.

To its credit, Monolith has said that J.A.C.K. isn't meant to be a NOLF game, and that's a good thing, because this game lacks the wit, originality, enjoyment, polish, and even the collision detection of the NOLF franchise. How this can be set in the NOLF world and not be a NOLF game is puzzling, but I guess saying "J.A.C.K. isn't a NOLF game" sounds a lot better than "J.A.C.K. is a crappy game."

This non-NOLF game casts you as the eponymous Jack, a killer for hire working for H.A.R.M., the evil syndicate from the NOLF games. This non-NOLF game also features specific characters from NOLF and ham-handed references to NOLF heroine Cate Archer. OK, whatever. The gameplay is decidedly non-NOLF as you mow down endless waves of bad guys during your quest to reclaim a mad scientist from rival bad-guy club Danger Danger.

Shoot, Wince, Repeat The run-and-gun action is unrelenting, as are the bad guys; crash-test dummies can take less damage than the enemies you'll empty clip after clip into in this game. OK, so Monolith wanted to make a straightforward shooter. Did it have to make such a flat and uninspired one? Weapons are so ineffective at dropping enemies that they blur into one abstract "kill thing." There are some vehicles—a snowmobile and a moped—with guns mounted on them so you can drive and shoot, but those brief sequences are dull.

Boss battles are so routine as to be laughable, and that's about all the laughter you'll be doing, as NOLF's great comedic dialogue is noticeably absent. The entire game feels slapped together, especially the featureless levels, including the Arctic and a moonbase. Collision detection is so incredibly flinky that half the time you run over a dead enemy's gun, you never pick it up. There's a workaround for this, but just because I'm a bad guy doesn't mean I should have to jump up and down on the bloody corpses of my enemies—an act that's also needlessly time consuming when another dozen killers are pelting me with bullets.

In some ways, this is a towering triumph for Monolith: Contract J.A.C.K. is definitely not a NOLF game. And that's a shame.

Verdict: No franchise shines forever—J.A.C.K. is the first blemish on the NOLF series.

Copyright © 2004 Ziff Davis Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. Originally appearing in Computer Gaming World.