Nosferatu: The Wrath of Malachi

Here's a very important lesson not only for the victimized Patterson family of Nosferatu, but for each and every one of us: Before you marry off your daughter, make sure her potential husband is not a vampire. Don't forget! It will save you a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. Mostly blood.

The Pattersons have tried to marry their daughter to a bloodsucker, and are now trapped in Castle Malachi. Purchasers of Nosferatu will feel just as hopeless.

Drives You Batty This titular story is mostly forgotten once you're forced to continually search the dark corridors of the castle to retrieve your stupid relatives and put an end to the nefarious vampires. Dungeon layouts are randomized, so every time you play, the castle is "different." Why anyone would want to play this game twice, I don't know—once feels like too much. Still, each time you play, you'll long for a mapping system. Far too often, you will be damned to wander aimlessly in repeating corridors, failing again and again to find that one special door.

Nosferatu's one specialty is nailing its chillingly ominous sound and music. Echoes in the background and faint whispers put your hair on end. However, this effect is broken by the game's visuals. It's like listening to bloodcurdling screams and sounds of terror but watching a kid in a white sheet trip over his own feet.

It's too bad, since for all of five minutes, Nosferatu generates some atmosphere, thanks to a fuzzy-filter overlay that gives it an old-movie look. But once you look past that cheap effect, the dated and blocky environments are unmistakable. There are shoddy textures, simple objects, and, worst of all, horrible animations that underline how bad most of the characters look. Only two character types manage to come across as scary: a dark shadowy thing and an invisible beast marked by a circular shadow on the floor.

The billowy shadow creatures are defeated by waving a cross in front of them. Vampire bosses are finished with the jab of a stake. All enemies have a particular weakness, which is clever in theory but awkward in play, as you must slowly flip through your items to find the weapon that will kill a particular foe. However, you are given a machine gun for the final leg of the game, and then Nosferatu feels more like traditional blasting fun.

Enemies come in two flavors of A.I.: They make a straight beeline toward you or stand in place and take potshots. When an enemy does land a hit, there's an awkward jerk reaction, and a triple slash of blood appears across the screen. I believe this is on purpose, but it's so sloppy that I can't be sure.

Count On Disaster You want real problems? I watched as my computer-controlled companion dropped 100 feet onto solid stone, only to pick himself up and wait for me by the foyer. I stood by as an angry devil dog pogoed in place like a puppy. Is this programming or a randomized series of ones and zeroes sold for profit?

Others have called this game bloodcurdling. I have called them in need of better blood. What am I afraid of? Bad games, and Nosferatu seriously scares me.

Verdict: Well, at least it sounds spooky.

Copyright © 2004 Ziff Davis Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. Originally appearing in Computer Gaming World.