Dear John and Bonnie

DEAR JOHN AND BONNIE

My father died shortly after returning from holiday. It was sudden and I never had the chance to say goodbye or tell him how much I loved him. The night he died I dreamt that my dad came to me, surrounded by butterflies. The next day I found a butterfly in the house and set it free. But it stayed on the window a few minutes before flying off. Since then I have seen butterflies at odd times, the first when I

went to put flowers on dad's grave, and my daughter talks about seeing butterflies. This has happened in October, when they are not frequently around. Is this my dad's way of comforting me? A.L., Coventry

Your father came to you in your dream to say goodbye because you could not be with him when he passed over. He knows how much you loved him and in reply to your question: yes, this is your father's way of comforting you, and to show how much he cares. A butterfly is a thing of beauty and is free and that is exactly what your father is now - free from the cares of this world, but he wants you to realise that he is around you and loves you and wants you to talk to him. Hence the butterflies.

DEAR JOHN AND BONNIE

My husband passed away a year ago. He was my life and I miss him so much. A few months ago I ran down into his study, his favourite place, and nearly fell over his feet. He appeared to be sleeping in his favourite position but enclosed in a shimmering blue veil. Seconds later he vanished. I love him so much and did not wish to keep him Earth-bound. I changed the room back into a bedroom. Did I do the right thing? H.L., Doncaster

This was your husband's way of letting you know he is now fully recovered. He is very grateful for the love and care you gave him in the last five years of his life. Yes, you did the right thing in changing the room back, but it is not the room or the house your husband is interested in - it is you and he is never far from you. We hope your experience will help readers who have lost loved ones realise that they are never far away. Remember the good times you shared (and the not-so-good times) and most importantly talk to them.

DEAR JOHN AND BONNIE

A couple of years ago my brother

died of AIDS. We were very close and I miss him so much. Because of the stress of watching him die I wonder if he forgave me for at times being really spiteful. I loved and cared for him deeply and wonder if he is no longer in pain and if he's happy. So many things have gone wrong with me since falling out with my family and a close friend and I often wonder if this is my punishment. Will I ever stop feeling guilty when I think of my brother and remember the happiness and joy he gave me? M.M., London

Stop bringing all this unnecessary guilt and negativity on yourself. Your brother knows how deeply you cared for him and understood that your anger was out of frustration. Every time you think about your brother, think happy, caring thoughts because he is home now and free of pain. He is not judging or blaming you - he loves you. As you start thinking positively things will get better.

DEAR JOHN AND BONNIE

I have never had much to complain about. I have arthritis but after a hip replacement all is wonderful. I have a new home and everything is good for me. So why I am so afraid it is all too good to last? I live alone, but am not lonely. D.J., Leicestershire

Despite the fact that you say you never had much to complain about I feel that life has not been as easy for you as you say it has. I am being shown a picture of a classroom and a teacher named Martha. She is a lovely, tall, thin woman with greyish hair. She asks me to send you her love and reassure you that everything is fine. She is asking you to relax for the first time in a long while and to trust in providence.

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