Dear John and Bonnie

OUR MESSAGE FOR THE GRIEVING

We have had so many letters from readers full of guilt and unhappiness because they weren't there to say goodbye when loved ones died. It is impossible to answer them all individually.

All of you are asking if your loved ones know that you are hurting and unhappy. The answer is that they are very aware of how you are feeling and they wish you would remember the love you had for each other through good times and bad. Though you didn't get to say goodbye, they are never far from your side. They also want you to have a loving thought for them instead of a guilty one, and ask you to remember that one day you will all be together again. So give up the guilt and replace it with love . . . and allow peace into your life and the lives of your families.

DEAR JOHN & BONNIE

After 29 years of marriage, I have left my husband because of his unreasonable behaviour. I feel depressed and lonely and wonder if I have made a mistake. My husband says he has realised he treated me badly and would like us to try again, but I hesitate to give him a second chance. Do you have an answer for me?

Yours, Mrs V L

I have consulted the cards and I am surprised that such a strong woman as you put up with so much for so long. When you look back on the good times you must also remember the negativity and the torment that your mind endured.

You have had to listen to a lot of hot air and empty promises. Consolidate what you have now, control your mood swings and trust your intuition, because you have already made up your mind. Get on with your life and go forward. There is a change of house coming up for you which will require sacrifices, but you should not worry - everything will be fine.

DEAR JOHN & BONNIE

When my partner of 30 years died I was devastated. We were very close and very much in love. Last week when I entered the bedroom we shared I could smell his Old Spice after-shave.

I felt as though he could be near me. I sat daily at the hospital and held his hand and told him I loved him always. Is he is aware of my suffering?

Yours, B A

Your partner Jimmy loves you now as much as he always did. As he comes closer he shows me that he loved the sea and walking along the shore. He treasured the time you shared and shows me a wedding ring which he says will be of particular importance to you. He is also showing me a picture of a wardrobe in your bedroom and is expressing some concern. He asks that you do not grieve for him. He is with you so much of the time and is very happy that you are able to smell his after-shave, because is it his way of showing you that he is near to you. He also shows me how he cares for you as you are sleeping at night.

DEAR JOHN & BONNIE

My little daughter was stillborn over10 years ago and I cannot get over it. I wonder if she sees me, and who she is with. I never got to cuddle her or hold her hand and tell her that I love her. Does she know I love her? Since then I have had other children but I just cannot fill that empty space in my heart. Yours, C J

Coming close to me is your daughter. She has a beautiful head of brown curly hair and with her is your grandmother Kate and your grandfather Peter. They have given her so much love since she came over to them and they have tried hard to take your place. They see your suffering and longing but would like you to know that she is safe with them. They named her Rose because you love roses, particularly white ones. As your little daughter approaches she asks that the white rose she holds is given to you so that every time you see one you will know that she loves you.

DEAR JOHN & BONNIE

My darling wife Babs died of cancer in 1995. She fought it for over four years and was so brave. We did everything together and I am now lost. I have made friends with a lovely lady who is in the same state as me. I would like to see more of her, but she just can't let go of losing her darling husband, who died in 1994. I knew him well all my life and went to school with him. Do you think she will change? Life now does not seem worth much. Yours, BH

Your loving wife shows me how she suffered with cancer. She wants you to know that she is now free of pain and thanks you for all your loving care. She sends her love and support and wants you to be happy. She is sad that you feel your life is not worth much after all you both shared and built together. She knows about your new friend, and explains that this lady suffers from great depths of sorrow and is living in the past with her memories. She needs a friend at this time who will help her, be patient and things will work out. Financial help is also on its way to you.

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