You'll just love it on board a dreamboat

YOU'RE woken up by the sun glinting off the brilliant blue sea and the most demanding task of the day awaits you...working out just where the hell you are.

It's a tricky problem. Sunday was Majorca, Tuesday Rome, Wednesday was Florence and oh, Pisa as well, Thursday Portofino. Yes, it's Friday, it must be the French Riveria.

But hey, it's a tough life keeping track of things when you're on a cruise.

I had intended to take it easy on the 23,149-ton Airtours cruise ship MS Sundream. Just watch the Mediterranean go by, I thought to myself. Stuff yourself silly on the fantastic buffet lunch, snooze in the afternoon. Then there's dinner and a few drinks in the evening watching the entertainment.

Couldn't be easier or more relaxing, I thought.

Then I watched the video showing the many sight-seeing tours on offer...and booked every one.

Having vowed to gaze at nothing more than the spectacular views floating round the Med from Palma, Majorca, I ended up jostling with crowds at the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican, admiring Florence's spectacular 15th Century domed cathedral, wondering just why I was in Pisa looking at the leaning tower, envying the riches of Monaco's ruling family, and wondering why in Britain we don't have magnificent football stadiums like Barcelona's, which I visited with my rather reluctant partner.

And there was a lot more besides.

I'm usually pretty lax sending postcards but one of my friends, who had irritated me with his tales of a luxury holiday, ended up with enough from me to fill a photo album. Sweet revenge.

I couldn't find fault with the Sundream.

A pounds 10 million refurbishment has created a stylish vessel with swimming pool, bars, disco, theatre, shop and comfortable dining rooms and more than enough room to sunbathe on deck.

But if you're on a diet you'd better avoid cruising.

There are endless supplies of good quality food, from the superbly cooked breakfast kicking off at 6.30am until the midnight buffet. Drinks are very reasonable with bar prices cheaper than in pubs and wine at about pounds 10 a bottle.

The entertainment on board provided by a first-class crew was a hoot. A mixture of game shows, comedy routines and song-and-dance spectacular went down a storm on the Med's wonderfully calm seas.

With prices starting at just pounds 499 for a one-week cruise, Airtours are justifiably proud of their value-for-money package.

Our cruise stopped at Civitavecchia, Livorno, Portofino, Villefranche and Barcelona, although there are alternative routes.

The only problem you might have is deciding which one to take.

FACT FILE

AIRTOURS Sun Cruises (08701 577 775) One week's cruise on Sundream leaves every Sunday from Palma and will call at Livorno (for Florence/ Pisa), Elba, Villefranche and Barcelona. Alternative cruise itineraries include Naples, Sicily, Malta and Tunisia. A one-week cruise on Sundream is pounds 529 per person in May or pounds 679 per person in August. The price includes flights to Majorca, all meals, entertainment and port taxes.

CRUISE NEWS

A RECORD number of 700,000 cruises are expected to be sold this year.

COSTA have a bargain four-night Med cruise for pounds 295, leaving on March 28. The fly-cruise from Stansted or Manchester takes in Genoa, Menorca, Majorca and Cannes. The price includes flights, all meals and entertainment on the ship.

THOMSON have a choice of four Mediterranean itineraries aboard four ships this summer. The seven-night Mediterranean Mosiac cruise, aboard Rembrandt begins in May and calls at Naples, Palma, Barcelona, Villefranche, Rome and Sicily. Prices start from pounds 619.

GRAND Princess, at pounds 300m the most expensive passenger ship ever built, leaves Southampton on May 14 on its first 12-night Mediterranean cruise. It will call at Lisbon, Barcelona, Cannes, Livorno, Naples, Athens and Istanbul. Prices start at pounds 1,995 per person.

WORTH checking out is World of Cruising, published twice a year by The Cruise Line. It has all the latest deals and useful tips for first-time cruisers and is available free on 0990 67 33 94.

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