Banksy

Hospital movies may turn out to be a grave mistake

Have your say and win pounds 100

pounds 100THE charity Medi-Cinema's plan to show movies to hospital patients needs strict vetting. After all, who wants to see films such as Coma, Crash, starring Rosanna Arquette (pictured below), or even One Foot In The Grave when they are recuperating in hospital?

Miss J. Jones, Churchtown, Merseyside

On the other hand, Hart To Hart might cheer 'em up on the transplant ward!

pounds 5ONCE again a few strong gusts of wind have caused chaos to the electricity supply. Surely it must be clear to those responsible that the right place for cables and pipes is underground? Mr W. Tickner, Dagenham, Essex

Gerroff! Just rewiring our KITCHEN almost bankrupted me, never mind recabling the entire country!

pounds 5SHOCKED as I was to read last week of the 11-year-old who became a mother, I was even more shocked to hear of the Government plans to charge for the Pill. Single mothers will cost much more in the long run. Miss N. Akhtar, Leyton, East London.

Prediction: the Government will try to dodge THAT bill too!

pounds 5 DIANA'S grave has to be the most expensive memorial site in the country at pounds 9.50 a time. A family of four will pay pounds 29, and I wonder how much of this will end up going to charity.

We have been told that the proceeds will go to the Diana Trust. Even so, a lot of ordinary families will find it hard to stump up the cash. Somehow, the rich always get richer.

Stuart R. Burns, Guisborough, Cleveland.

Most expensive memorial HAS to be the House of Lords, a mausoleum that costs us all millions. The aristocracy make money out of THAT, too!

pounds 5HOW long will it be before water companies raise our water bills "because the country is suffering from a drought"? Where has all the floodwater gone? Mr D. Dean, Leicester.

Try looking at the bottom end of my garden, mate!

pounds 5SUSPECTING the voice on the phone was a salesman, I said politely "No thank you." He rang again so I told him to clear off. Later the steward at my local club announced the winner of the Christmas raffle. "I rang the winner's number twice, but the man was so rude we gave the prize TV to charity." Mr J. Eagle, Chelmsford, Essex

Ouch! Any other phone call clangers?

pounds 5WHEN two friends said they were to marry, my husband put his foot in it, saying: "At least you won't need something borrowed and something blue - you already have a mortgage AND varicose veins." Mrs G. Miller, Leeds.

Borrowed AND blue? Give them Bernard Manning's Joke Book as a gift!

pounds 5DRUNK drivers who have caused death or serious injury should be banned from driving for life. The light sentences and fines often handed out by the courts are a joke.

P.K. Burns,

Kettering, Northants.

Cold-blooded murderers only serve six to eight years. Is a lifetime driving ban a harsher or lighter sentence?

pounds 5YOUR reply to the OAP grumbling about the 25p extra pension is what I tell all the young people. By the time my daughter reaches pension age there won't be any money left.

Mrs W. Lind, East London

Precisely the point I was making - you just did it politely!

pounds 5DO you ever say anything nice? According to you, pensioners are always whingeing but you whinge more than anyone. You're a regular miserable Victor Meldrew! I shudder to think what you will be like at 70. D.R. Richardson, Hull

Dead, if you lot get your way!

Write to DEAR BANKSY, Sunday Mirror, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5AP.

Or e-mail Dbanks@media.co.uk There's pounds 100 for our letter of the week, pounds 5 each for all others used.

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