Christmas present really went down a storm for me!

Busk Off, Noel!

Had Noel Gallagher been around a few centuries ago he would have been thrown in the dungeons for his outburst about the Queen. The good citizens of this country resent his comments. He is nothing but a jumped- up little upstart who would be better off busking. - Mrs G. Cooper, Loughborough, Leics.

pounds 100My boyfriend and I had a wonderful Christmas this year! The storms on Christmas Eve left us with half the roof blown away and without power for several hours, which all but ruined our turkey dinner. I opened my presents in the morning and found I had been given a fluffy spectacle case even though I have contact lenses, and FOUR boxes of talcum powder to add to my collection.

To top it all my boyfriend bought me a stress reliever which was pushed, pulled and pummelled to death by the time Boxing Day was over! - Miss Georgina Eddy, Southport, Merseyside.

Look on the bright side...at least you had a better day than the turkey!

pounds 5New Labour in government is proving indistinguishable from past Thatcherite regimes, resulting in public disillusionment. An angry series of costly gaffes, scandals and reneging on pre-election pledges is tantamount to a two-finger message. Needy and aged benefit claimants continue to be harassed and castigated for being a burden on the State while enormous resources are squandered on the Millennium Dome and Downing Street showbiz shindigs.

If New Labour is really sincere about radical reform of the Welfare State, cuts should begin where most of our money evaporates - financing the lifestyles of the privileged elite. Targeting only the vulnerable makes nonsense of New Labour's pledge to create a more equal society. - Norman Wall, Wallsend, Tyne and Wear.

Be fair, Norm, new societies aren't built overnight. After all, it took the Tories 18 years just to level the site!

pounds 5Mr Blair surpassed himself by giving old age pensioners an extra 25p a week. It won't even buy a loaf. As if this rise wasn't miserly enough, I understand he has spent pounds 7 million on entertaining while in power. - E.M. Smith (OAP), Hayle, Cornwall.

Young 'uns take note: save for your old age so you don't spend your dotage whingeing about the pension!

pounds 5The Royal Family should distance themselves from the cruel and outdated practice of fox hunting. Why in this day and age hunting is allowed to continue I just do not understand. Royalty going hunting is no exception. It is cruel no matter who is hunting the fox. - Mrs Magrath, Bellevue, Manchester.

Forget foxes and royals! Does no one care about PEOPLE any more?

pounds 5Footballer David Beckham and Posh Spice are said to be "so in love" that he splashed out at Christmas buying her a pounds 13,000 cross as a present. They also now have matching Rottweiler pups. My wife and I have been forced to buy matching presents too - sick bags. - Robert H. Griffiths, Denbigh, Denbighshire.

They're young and daft with more money than sense - thanks to us!

pounds 5Surely 1997 will go down as the most disastrous year in living memory. Every week we hear of another plane or helicopter accident. There have also been dreadful floods, volcanic eruptions, forest fires, earthquakes and other national disasters. Let us hope 1998 will prove to be the most healthy, disaster- free and pleasant year on record to compensate. - Margaret Wilkinson, Middleton, Manchester.

pounds 5The day politicians stop using their cars, the public might be persuaded to do the same. As this will never happen, perhaps the new Lord Mayor of London should have the power to stop MPs parking near the Houses of Parliament until they practise what they preach. - M. Williams, Blackwood, Gwent.

Better still - reimburse their bus and train fares, scrap mileage allowance!

pounds 5Now I know where the Gladiators get those bulging biceps. They obviously work part-time as Christmas cracker testers! I could have done with their help as anchor- men during what became a tug of war over our festive table with Christmas crackers. - Frank Austin, Ilfracombe, Devon.

It's ages since I had that sort of Christmas problem, Frank...the girls were a LOT friendlier down our way!

pounds 5I Can't believe the cheek of the weather presenter saying at the end of the forecast "generating electricity whatever the weather". Is she barmy? Think of the poor souls who shivered at Christmas when bad weather put the lights out. - Edna Morgan, Urmston, Manchester.

And think of the power workers who gave up THEIR Christmas to put the pilot lights back on again!

pounds 5I Was tickled by the unnamed Labour MP accused of doing a Sharon Stone by going knickerless at the Commons. Does this mean Neil Hamilton did a "Clint Eastwood" by asking for a few dollars more in the cash for questions scandal, and will Tony Banks keep doing a "Stan Laurel" and get the Government into another fine mess? - D. Mills, Kirkdale, Liverpool.

As for Tory Knickerless Soames...!

pounds 5I Wish all those endearing qualities about the late Princess Diana referred to in the Queen's Speech had been applied by others when she was alive. How could the Queen sit there on Christmas Day and talk such rubbish? It was she who took Diana's title away. - P. Burns, Kettering, Northants.

Unfair! Quit the job and even a Princess loses her clocking-on card!

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