We have sensational sex, we spend wild weekends in bed ... and we're
Caroline SuttonStephen Love and Beth Hemingway are madly in love. They live together in Wakefield - and are planning to marry in a couple of years. But there's one thing they do not do...have sexual intercourse. Both are virgins and are determined to remain that way until their wedding night. Here Stephen, 22, who works in promotions, and 20-year-old Beth, who works for an insurance firm, explain to Caroline Sutton why pre-marital sex is not for them - and how they came to their decision...
STEPHEN'S STORY
I FANCIED Beth as soon as I saw her. I used to go to a shop where my friend worked and she also worked there. She's lovely looking with a great figure and I wanted to get to know her. My friend told me I had no chance.
Then one night, I bumped into her in a nightclub in Leeds, we got chatting and I asked her for a date. From then on we were together all the time.
On one of our first dates we began to talk about sex and she told me that she was a virgin. I told her I was - but I'm sure she didn't believe me.
As we carried on dating, we got closer and closer and it seemed natural that we were moving towards having sex.
One night we were kissing and getting carried away. I sort of moved away and said, 'Let's wait a bit longer'.
Beth seemed shocked, and I explained in a bit more detail. I said how I thought things were going really well between us, so why didn't we wait a bit longer before having sex. She said she understood.
Our relationship continued and we began to talk about sex. It was then that I suggested that we wait until we got married. Beth agreed.
We've been together a year now and it is not a problem. We're getting engaged on holiday soon and plan to marry in a couple of years. We're both happy to wait for sex until then. Of course we do have a sex life. We do everything but penetrative sex - and I do mean literally EVERYTHING. It is amazing how imaginative you can become.
There is not a day when we don't have sex in some way and sometimes we spend whole weekends in bed. We both have orgasms every time we do anything.
I'm probably better at satisfying Beth than most men would be. Other guys just jump on women. I feel that by not having sex we are saving something special for our marriage.
I want to prove to other people that we can do it too. Everyone thinks that all young people want is to have sex. We want to prove that our relationship is based on the emotional, not the physical.
We want to show that young people can have old-fashioned values.
That is why Beth and I decided to go public about our decision. Last week we appeared on ITV's The Time...The Place, which was about people who are determined to stay virgins.
I know my parents wondered if I was homosexual. But I know I'm not and it's never been a consideration to me.
I suppose it's become a bit of an endurance test for us now. It's become a real test of will-power. Beth has sometimes tried to manoeuvre me into going further, but I've always managed to resist.
BETH'S STORY
I'D NEVER had a long-term relationship until I met Stephen. When all my friends were talking about what they'd got up to with their boyfriends I always felt excluded because I'd never had sex.
I just thought that it would happen at the right time for me. When Stephen and I started to go out together, it seemed to be moving that way. I'd not made a big decision about losing my virginity but I thought if it happens it will be OK.
One night when we'd been together for about three months things were getting very heated between us. Stephen suddenly said that we should wait. My first thought was, 'What's wrong with me?' I felt terrible - as if I wasn't sexy enough. But I didn't say anything.
I talked to a friend, and she told me she thought it was really odd and did I think he was gay. She put the idea into my mind. But deep down I knew he wasn't. Then we started to talk about sex and Stephen said that he thought it would be good if we waited until we were married.
My first reaction was that he was really nice. It meant he wasn't like other guys who are only after one thing.
I put myself in his shoes and thought that if a lad had pressurised me into having sex before I was ready I'd think it was wrong. It was just the same for him.
If he did not want to have sex I had to respect that.
The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be a good idea. My Mum knows our decision and I think she's proud of me - she likes Stephen more for it.
I know people who have had sex for the first time and wished they hadn't because it was not very good - or they did not love the person they were with.
We know that it will be special for us because we will be married. We do a lot of things, but don't have full sex. I know lots of women say they prefer the foreplay anyway, and what we do we both find extremely satisfying.
I like the fact that Stephen is a virgin too. It means that when we do have sex together we will be learning together. I don't think I would like to be with someone who is experienced, I'd feel under too much pressure that I wasn't doing it right.
There are times when I get frustrated. Sometimes I just want to go all the way, but I say nothing to Stephen - I don't think he even realises.
Two years is a long time to wait, and if Stephen said he wanted to go all the way I would.
It's more his idea than mine. But I respect him and I'm proud of myself for sticking to it. I love him and want to marry him.
After all sex is only a minor part of relationships - and we've just got a normal relationship really.
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