Gay-marriage option best for society

Growing up, every one of us learns the American dream: find someone you love, get married and build a stable and loving home for your children. Last Tuesday, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that people who choose to make a lifelong commitment to each other cannot be denied the right to marry just because they are gay or lesbian. The court, in its wisdom, realized that denying loving couples the ability to create stable and healthy families limited our ability to create a stable and healthy society.

Nobody is arguing that marriage is bad for civilization. In fact, we all agree that marriage is a wonderful institution and everything should be done to promote and encourage it. We know that marriage strengthens a relationship and opens up a world of benefits and protections that safeguards a couple's relationship and offers critical security for children.

Marriage provides basic protections like hospital visitation, health insurance, Social Security surivors benefits, pensions and inheritance. And most Americans agree that gays and lesbians should be treated equally under law. People recognize that gays and lesbians, just like heterosexual Americans, are keeping America safe as police officers, firefighters and military service members. We are tax-paying citizens who work to provide for our community and families just like everybody else. Certainly, gays and lesbians should not be denied the protections and benefits that marriage provides.

In fact, it's impossible to explain how we are better off by denying a child Social Security benefits from both parents; how Americans are more secure by stopping someone from visiting their life partner in the hospital; or how we are a more stable society by denying a widow her partner's pension. It is clear that we are a better and stronger America when we remove these burdens from families, not add them on. That's why these important legal rights are given to couples who commit to each other through marriage.

Many are concerned with changing an institution that we have come to know and be comfortable with. And change is never a painless process. But it's almost hard to believe that not long ago our country did not tolerate marriages between people of different religions or different races. And no matter the level of support among many for those marriages now, overwhelmingly we recognize that the law should allow adults these choices. We have ended the legal discrimination against interracial marriage, and now it is time to remove the legal discrimination that exists for two gay adults who want to make a lifelong, legal commitment to care for each other and each other's children.

It is important to remember that religions can, as they always have, come to their own decisions about which marriages they will solemnize. But it is the government's duty not to discriminate. After all, the Catholic Church will always be allowed to refuse to remarry someone who has already been divorced, but the government cannot refuse them a marriage license.

Marriage is about love and commitment and trust and compromise. Marriage is joyous and difficult and beautiful and demanding. Gay and lesbian couples who want to make lifelong commitments to one another are undoubtedly pro-marriage. It's time to stop denying them this critical legal right and the protections it bestows.

Adam Bass writes on behalf of the Salt Lake Steering Committee for the Human Rights Campaign.

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