Fathers should just do their best

A few years ago I sat in an auditorium with several hundred other men as we listened intently to George Durrant motivate us to be better fathers. I will always remember what happened when he asked if there were any questions.

A middle-aged, working-class man with muscles and a mustache gathered courage to stand up and emotionally ask, "What you say sounds great in an ideal world. But what do you expect me to do when I have nine kids and a wife to feed and I have to work 14 hours a day at two jobs just to keep body and soul together?"

He went on to list many additional reason why his job situation made it so he just didn't have the time or the energy to be the unhurried, sensitive and playful dad being described to the group. He glared at Durrant as he concluded with the terse question, "So, what do you expect me to do?"

Durrant took a deep breath, paused and then with emotion in his voice replied simply, "I would think that your wife and children would expect you to do your best. My friend, just do your best."

E. Jeffrey Hill is an associate professor in Brigham Young University's Marriage, Family and Human Development Department and is a research associate for the BYU Family Studies Center.

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