The new phoney war

Can't decide which phone contract to sign up to?

Let the in-store computer tell you. KULWINDER SINGH RAI tries to sign on the dotted line

SUPERMARKETS are selling prepay phones in their millions and look set to break all records again this Christmas. Is it any wonder? Yes, they cost a fortune in vouchers, but at least it cuts out the anguish of phone salesmen and their evil annual contracts. Which is why said salesmen are frantically trying to think up ways to lure back the punters.

"The prepay boom's been terrific for networks but nightmarish for specialist dealers," says What Cellphone magazine editor Phil Lattimore.

"They have been desperately trying to persuade the mobile-phone networks to make it more difficult for the supermarkets to slash prices, but with little success."

And those labyrinthine and impenetrable monthly tariffs don't help.

"Insanely complicated," say Lattimore.

"We compile a monthly update on all UK mobile-phone tariffs and even we find it difficult to get our heads around all the options."

Richard Branson's Virgin Mobile network, which is promising to take the complexity out of mobile-phone tariffs when it launches its imminent prepay service (cue the sound of hollow, cynical laughter from Virgin Rail users), is unlikely to make life any easier.

Recognising that desperate tactics are called for, some phone dealers are busy trumpeting new ways of cutting through the complexities which traditionally sent folk scurrying to their

specialist shops for advice. The Link, for instance, has come up with a wizard wheeze to help customers cut through the "mobile maze" it helped to create.

Its new software package, dubbed Easy Link, is designed to sift through the 1,000 or so possible combinations of mobile-phone tariffs available in the UK. The folk at Carphone Warehouse aren't impressed. They claim to have had a similar program running for ages: "You don't even have to come into our stores to use our program," bristled their spokesperson. "You can phone in with your enquiry, log into our website, or access it via Sky Digital's new Open Interactive service."

In a bid to avoid the two resorting to fisticuffs, we decided to put them to the test. We asked each of their respective programs (going online with Carphone Warehouse and doing it the manual way with The Link) to work out the best tariff for somebody (me) who made: 100 minutes of business calls to fixed-line phones every weekday between 7am and 7pm (national rate), no evening calls, 35 minutes of calls each day at the weekend (national rate) and picked up 15 short voicemail messages a week Here's what they came up with: The Link (cost per month) 1. One-2-One Precept 720 . . . . . . . . 164 2. Orange Talk 1300 . . . . . . . . . . 467.95 3. BT Cellnet FCP . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . 611 4. Vodaphone 240. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 598 Carphone Warehouse (cost per month) 1. One-2-One Anytime 60 . . . . . . .

22.86 2. Vodaphone 30 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66.52 3. Orange Talk 1300 . . . . . . . . . . 374.31 4. BT Cellnet Frequent Caller Plus (LCS) . . . .

. . . . . . 489.32 The results showed hardly any correlation, save including Orange's Talk 1300 tariff. The Link's system came closest to reality, and Lattimore reckoned it found the best deal going. The Carphone Warehouse's online system seemed to have gone loopy. Its first two quotes bearing no relation to what they were asked (shame it can't be held to an online quote).

Would I take The Link's suggested tariff over my existing one? Hardly. On my One-2-One Precept Daytime National tariff, the number of calls specified costs me just 66 a month. Which probably goes some way to explaining why One-2-One axed it this year. Only one rule in this game: the best deals are the ones you can't get any more.

Copyright 1999
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