A case of flit and miss

THE wait is over, the results long gone and the next step in your life beckons; you are going to university. The coming month will be a blur of loan forms, accommodation lists, last drinks with your schoolmates (promising to stay in touch with all of them), and watching your mother make packing lists.

You will, of course, be apprehensive, but your mind will be fixed on one thing freedom.

Very soon you will have the pleasure of being able to call yourself a student. And what does that mean? It means your life becomes a parent-free (hence stress-free) environment, allowing you a sense of independence previously only dreamed of. Rules are few and far between; no one to drag your bedraggled body out of bed in the morning, nonexistent curfews and no hanging out of the bedroom window, fag in hand, with aerosol at the ready.

The day will come, the bags will be packed (and probably repacked by your concerned mother) and you will be ready with BT Chargecard in hand. It is only, however, when you actually arrive at uni that the realisation dawns.

Your room, unless you are incredibly lucky, is reminiscent of something out of Cell Block-H and the only saving grace is the good pub guide left behind by the previous inhabitant, along with his/her odour. Don't worry, though - you have the freest of all weeks to follow, Freshers week, and your home comforts won't be missed at all.

Then suddenly (probably around the time you sober up) a strange ache kicks in. First the absence of materialistic comforts provided by your parents - which have been taken massively for granted - can leave you agitated and homesick.

Cooking in its cheapest and simplest form becomes arduous and frequently nonexistent; a diet of pasta and beans for a week provides an assured shock to the bodily functions.

Little things at home take on a far greater significance at college.

If, like some, your mother is constantly clearing up after you in the kitchen and checking whether you've left the oven/grill on, do try to make sure you do this for yourself. An oven at university if left on for the night can explode and destroy your kitchen. I speak from experience.

The absence of your very own maid (yes, your mum) begins to become apparent when you realise that the sheets haven't been washed since day one, and they crawl off the bed around you. Then you arrive at the laundrette and realise you are in a different part of the galaxy and the 1950s high-tech equipment is way beyond you.

The obvious happens: your whites get mixed with the coloureds and your designer woollen jumper has been boiled then tumble-dried, and has become a matted top suitable for your old teddy.

All those simple things you took for granted are suddenly gone like fresh uncurdled milk or crashing out on your favourite armchair in front of the telly.

It may, of course, seem amusing at the time to be able to say: "I haven't washed my sports gear for two months," but eventually the smell from your football socks ceases to have any entertainment factor. Your life becomes a strange vacuum. Where at first you revelled at the release from rules and regulations, you begin actually to miss a degree of authority. After driving yourself to exhaustion night after night going out to the local cheesy club, you subconciously realise it would perhaps - just now and again be good to have someone to utter those immortal words "Be back by one".

WHEN it comes to managing your finances and understanding that every penny counts, it would again be handy to have just that bit of extra support and - above all just a little bit of cash in hand once the copper jar has been emptied.

When the credit card bill arrives and you look at the horrendous total, plus the credit charge on top, you begin to realise why your parents advised you to pay it off each month. Your bank statements have a petrifying effect as you slowly total the cost of joining so many clubs and societies in that first flush of enthusiasm.

Everyone at some time has needed to turn to their parents, whether it's about not fitting in, trying to keep to schedule or keeping up with what will be your "huge" workload. This is where you pack your bags and head for home with that end-of-term "I'll never take it for granted again" rule fixed firmly in your brain, as you dream about clean clothes and hot meals on the table.

But then of course, you're back to hanging out of the window, having to be back by one, actually doing some washing-up and, above all, no sleeping in till the early evening. Suddenly, the student life takes on a rosy glow again Whatever happens, university is whatever you make of it; grab the opportunity with both hands and live life to the full. Do remember, though, that your parents will be there for you regardless. And until you have done what they have done, take their advice - they've been there already.

Copyright 1999
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