Losing a friend - and working through it
Raymond, Allen AThe title for this month's memo to you is not original with me; it appeared in The New York Times on Sunday, February 6, 2005. The serendipity and/or appropriateness was uncanny.
That is because many of us, scattered all over the country, are "working through" the loss of our friend, Carry Cleveland Myers, III, who died of a heart attack on January 26, 2005.
During our lifetime you and I will experience the deaths of many who are dear to us. It is never easy - and this is very hard.
My first experience with death (that I can remember) was my grandfather, who died when I was probably eight years old. The next death was a year or so later when "Auntie," who was taking care of me while my mother was with my father on a business trip, dropped dead at my feet.
Both deaths were very scary and made worse because my vivid imagination gave me terrible nightmares. "Will it happen to me? Am I going to die, too?"
While time has helped me deal with death, I'll probably never learn how to cope successfully with the loss of those who unexpectedly die young.
One's frame of reference adjusts with age, of course, and while death of those in their 30's is devastating, death at any age especially when unexpected - is very hard to accept.
The loss of Dr. James E. Allen, Jr., and his wife, Florence, who were killed in a plane crash on a tour of the Grand Canyon in 1971, hit me very hard. A widely known and respected educator, his role as Chairman of our Editorial Board when we launched this magazine in 1971 lent tremendous prestige to our fledgling enterprise. Jim was only 60 years old. Too young.
Then there was Dr. Ernest L. Boyer, who was president of The Carnegie Foundation for The Advancement of Teaching. Dr. Boyer had just launched The Basic School movement (see page 42 of this issue) when, in December 1995, he died of cancer.
Our first article about the Basic School appeared in our January, 1996 issue (mailed in mid-December, 1995), and was delivered to Dr. Boyer's bedside just before his death. He was 67. Again, too young to die.
Which brings me to Garry C. Myers, III, a grandson of the founders of Highlights For Children magazine, and CEO until his death of the corporation that publishes it. The corporation also owns Teaching K-8, plus several other educational companies, including Zaner-Bloser, Stenhouse, SDE (Staff Development for Educators), Boyds Mills Press, Highlights-Jigsaw Toy Factory and Highlights Catalog.
Garry was only 59 years old (also far too young to die) and, like Jim Allen and Ernie Boyer before him, Garry's good works will be celebrated for generations to come.
Garry was smart, of course; you don't remain CEO of a corporation for 25 years, even if it's family-owned, unless you've got a lot on the ball. He did.
And you don't make hosts of friends all over the country - such as Imogene Forte of Incentive Publications and Mark Levine of Kids Discover, both of whom were among the many who called me when they heard the news about Garry - unless you're the genuine article. And he was.
He was funny, too, and - God rest his merry soul - his laugh was unforgettable.
Yes, we'll work our way through this but, oh my goodness, it won't be the same.
Copyright Early Years, Inc. Apr 2005
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