Khalida Saed

For Iranian-American Muslim lesbian Khalida Saed, navigating seemingly conflicting identities is a way of life. A 20-something who serves on the board of the LGBT Muslim group Al-Fatiha, Saed (a pseudonym) contributed an essay to Saleemah Abdul-Ghafur's Living Islam Out Loud: American Muslim Women Speak to make her voice heard as a lesbian in a homophobic religion and as a Muslim in a blindingly white queer community.

What made you decide to get involved with the book?

It will probably also be one of the first times that [mainstream Muslim] readers have heard voices like the ones showcased here. While it is scary to be the only lesbian voice in the book, I am also convinced that it is necessary and long overdue.

You're out to your mother, Are you out to the rest of your family?

I'm not out to my family. I don't want to lose any ties. It's a personal safety matter, There's a real feeling of family honor that needs to be protected--not just in my family, but culturally-and it just absolutely puts me in danger. I know Americans have had the privilege of coming out as a way of establishing identity and joining a larger community. But I don't think there is a network or community for me to come out to.

Is there any tradition in Muslim culture of women getting together under the radar?

It's actually very common. Society is so segregated male- and femalewise that it's really easy. Most people's first sexual experiences are actually with a person of the same sex. But in the end everyone is expected to get married and produce children. Its really sad.

In your opinion, why is there so much racism among gay people?

I don't know. I have a lot of theories. I think we don't really have the tools to deal with other races in our community. And we uphold [certain] standards of beauty. In gay culture--mainstream lesbian culture--the standard of beauty is still the white woman.

COPYRIGHT 2005 Liberation Publications, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2005 Gale Group