Leaving a legacy may cost dearly

By KENT S. COLLINS

DEAR SENIOR FORUM: My husband has been talking to a financial planner lately. They have met three or four times. This last time my husband wanted me to tag along so I could hear what they have been cooking up. I am glad I went because now I am mad at them.

This planner has my husband poised to sign papers leaving various parts of our estate to our three children. That is all well and good. But to do it in the way the planner says will "maximize our estate" will cost us plenty of spending money in the meantime.

After the meeting, I told my husband I wouldn't pinch pennies in my old age so that my children can be richer at my funeral! I think I hurt his feelings.

Explain to me whether this "maximize our estate" business is a good idea. Ease my troubled mind that a retirement budget can afford this sort of thing. --- C.A. IN L.A.

DEAR C.A.: I can't tell you, explain to you, or even ease your troubled mind. You have it figured right. Maximizing your estate for the benefit of your grieving adult children will cause you to pinch pennies, turn off the heat in winter, and maybe eat dog food.

Well, probably the plan won't cause quite that much suffering, but your husband has apparently fallen victim to two strong forces: his need to be remembered as a rich and gracious father, and the financial planner's need to make commissions.

What is it with an old guy who thinks he has something to prove from the grave to the children who love him, or who he wants to love him? Leaving an inheritance is the common man's substitute for erecting a statue, and the poor man's substitute for funding a university building. At the very least, he wants to leave money for his adult children, maybe to pay college tuition for grandkids.

That is certainly a legacy worth leaving, but the price is dear, especially for you. The investment plans some of these misguided retired guys make with financial advisors could eventually make their widows' lives miserable.

Now that you have wagged your finger in the face of your husband, do it to the financial planner. Then, a couple of days later, demur sweetly and tell them they can "maximizing the estate" with some of your income and assets --- but not all. And demand that the plans be written so you can halt contributions the day after your husband's funeral. As a widow, you likely will want to hold tight to every penny you can pinch.

If there is an estate to be maximized for your adult children, it should be up to you to do so. But you should, of course, discuss with a financial planner and attorney an estate plan to minimize taxes and probate costs.

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