Bushwhackers united

As George W Bush settles into the White House, he might want to avoid venturing too far online - it's open season on the new US President, says SUSAN WRIGHT

WHAT a wheeze ... with the arrival of George Bush Jr in the White House, the nonconformist legions of geekery have found a new target for their, er, creativity.

Removing all the Ws from the keyboards in the White House (as happened the other week) was just the beginning. Out on the net, Bushwhackery is kicking off in earnest ...

The message was clear in an email raging online last week. If you typed the phrase "dumb motherf***er" (in all its glory) into the search engine Google (www.google.

com), the first site to appear was the official George W Bush merchandise store (www.georgewbushstore.com).

But this is only the tip of the IceBush. George W Bush Is The Anti- Christ (www.geocities.com/trebor_92627/ Bush. htm) attempts to prove that Bush Jr is not perhaps as godlike as his supporters assume, by demonstrating a few too many links between the President and the number of the devil, 666.

Less sinister, and more hilarious, is the Bush Or Chimp site (www.bushorchimp.com), which proves conclusively George W's links to a more advanced member of the animal kingdom: each photo of a chimp is paired with one of George W in identical pose. How did they miss the chattering teeth and pouting lips? As in low burlesque, so in online art: at GWBush Art (www.geocities.com/ gwbushart/index/ index.htm), the multimedia taunts include a short animation that explains The Divine Right Of Junior to rule the most powerful country in the world.

But it's the sites that sound authoritative that are currently exercising the Oval office most ... such as www.gwbush.com, which comes with the tagline "not a crackhead". In addition to satirical "welcome" messages, you can see ESPN coverage of Dubya picking his nose at a ball game, and take up the invite to join a chapter of SUDS (Students For An Undemocratic Society).

And on a dark night when another peace process has failed, or another oil tanker run aground, don't read Bushisms (www.bushisms.com), a site detailing all the stupid things the 43rd President has ever said.

And as for practical jokes - if George W's reputation for hard justice is warranted, we can expect retaliation for that W-less keyboard prank. There is plenty of online ammo available: the internet is awash with software that can turn the most competent PC user into a gibbering tech-support phone junkie.

Install Button Shy Mouse and the victim will find it impossible to move the mouse pointer over any dialogue box buttons or even the Windows Start button.

Load Swapping Icons and icons on a Windows desktop will swap places at random intervals, enough to make anyone think they're going mad.

Drifting Windows makes Windows move around the screen a few pixels at a time. Fake Format makes it look as though your hard disk is being formatted.

Fake Start Menu does exactly what it says on the packet.

Who knows what they used on the computer that did those exit polls?

Copyright 2001
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