Cricket World Cup: I never want to go through all that again

THE last week has been the worst, the most testing, time of my life. I never want to go through anything like it again.

I came here to play in the World Cup and at the age of 33 I have always known it would be probably be my last chance.

Instead I spent four days cooped up inside hotel rooms in Cape Town and then, when we finally got into the nets to practise, my rib muscle started to play up again.

To have to go through the agonising debate and the endless meetings on Zimbabwe was bad enough for us all.

But to then emerge from that and within 24 hours have my hopes of playing in the World Cup threatened again by injury was the last thing I needed.

From the start of the meetings about the match against Zimbabwe I thought I knew exactly where I stood.

As had been made clear in our players' statement issued a fortnight earlier we all had political concerns about going to Harare. But my main worry was always our safety.

But then we had so many meetings listening to so many arguments that there were times when I became confused. It was mind-boggling.

There were also times when people mentioned the money side of it. The millions that might be lost if we didn't fulfil the fixture. I am sorry, but it has to be said. That to me was shallow.

I couldn't understand how people could even think of money when there could be lives on the line.

How could we be sure, whatever we were being told, that the threats that were being made against us were hoaxes?

I had to think about the lives that might be lost among people protesting at the matches. My life and those of my team-mates and those of our families.

And it wasn't just a case of what might happen during the World Cup. The long term was also very much on my mind.

If the people making threats were as serious as they said, I did not want my family over the coming weeks, months and even years worrying that at some time in the future someone might come after them.

I felt a great sense of relief when it became clear that we were not going to Harare, but no sooner had we all started thinking about cricket than I had something else to think about.

And I'll never know for sure whether it was the four days of sitting around doing nothing that contributed to the injury.

When I had finished bowling my 10 overs against Border the previous week, I felt stronger than I had done for a long time.

But by the time we got back into the nets I hadn't done anything for a week and I had gone cold again.

I took a couple of overs to loosen up on Tuesday and Nasser came over and said he was worried that if I did that in a match Ganguly might have taken 15 off me and the pressure would be on us.

So I started going flat out, tried a bouncer and the old pain returned. I bowled three or four more deliveries but then I had to stop.

I have suffered similar rib-muscle injuries enough times in my career to know the symptoms, and the pain had returned.

Fortunately, in the past couple of days a scan has revealed no new damage, just some problem with scar tissue.

Now we know that we have forfeited all four points from the Zimbabwe match it's important that we are at full strength and playing well for every game.

Qualifying for the Super Sixes from our group was never going to be simple and to start off today against Holland with the equivalent of a defeat already marked down against us, will make it even harder.

We know now that we virtually have to win every game, but we arrived here from Australia playing well and with a new sense of confidence.

If we can recapture that quickly, qualifying is not out of the question.

Interview: STEVE HARDY

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