Abandon hope, all ye trying to turn left here

It started innocently enough. I was just returning to my office in Liberty Lake from a business trip to Idaho.

My defense is feeble. I wasn't thinking, being engrossed as I was in some vital-for-mankind's future conversation on sports radio.

But there I was, waiting to turn south onto Harvard Road from the top of the westbound freeway off-ramp. My hands froze to the wheel with the sudden realization that I was caught in the Liberty Lake Labyrinth - the toughest left turn in the Spokane Valley.

I looked around for clues of hope, surveying the long line of cars ahead of me. In front of me was every make and model of every SUV ever made, plus a Studebaker, an Edsel or two, a Model T, and at the front of the line, a covered wagon.

My watch read 2 p.m. I was hoping to be back to my office, which I could see less than a half-mile away, before 5.

Things were not looking good.

(It's important to note something here. Most of the drivers waiting to turn left are male. From this spot, one could turn right, go down to the gas station, pull a U-turn and head back south. Not us men. A right turn when we actually want to go left is a sign of weakness and there's no telling where that weakness will end. Make that right turn and the next thing you know, well, you're pulling over and asking for directions from - gulp! - a lady.

At 3 p.m., no movement. Just a steady parade of vehicles moving north on Harvard. What is this parade celebrating? Liberty Lake's incorporation? I think we have elected a mayor while I am sitting here. I'm losing track of time.

More bad signs. The traffic helicopter air-drops food bundles to us. A couple of the more industrious dads are van schooling their kids via cell phone.

At 4:30 p.m., I'm still here, ready to abandon all hope of making the office today. I readjust my sights. I just want to get back before my retirement party.

Night falls. Is that a coyote's wail or the guy in the Edsel losing it? I was worried about him. I'm pretty sure whoever won the mayoral election is running for re-election by now. I'd vote for anybody even thinking about traffic reform.

OK, maybe I'm stretching things just a little bit. But the westbound Harvard Road off ramp certainly deserves the title of the toughest left turn in the Valley.

Unluckily, we are not without other candidates worthy of dishonorable mention.

Ever try to turn left onto northbound Sullivan Road from the strip mall that houses Hastings and Godfather's? Of course, sitting there with a take-home pizza and the latest copy of the Sporting News isn't all bad. Well, except for the waistline.

And if there is a potential rising star in this race, it has to be the intersection of Mission and McDonald. It's bad now, but once the Evergreen interchange opens and starts funneling more traffic onto Mission, it's going to take a court order - and a bailiff to enforce it - to make that left turn off McDonald.

To qualify among the Valley's toughest left turns, an intersection must meet these requirements: There can be no stoplight involved. There must be a mind-numbing wait. There must be enough degree of difficulty involved to make a Russian figure skating judge smile. However, researching this article did clear up some things for me about left turns at traffic signals. I was told by someone at work that there is a plate under the pavement that detects a vehicle's presence and triggers activation of the the left-turn signal.

To be honest, I was more likely to believe my former in-laws controlled all Valley left turn signals with a remote-control device than to buy this subpavement vehicle detector plate concept.

Then I called Bob Brueggeman, the Spokane County traffic engineer, for the straight info. He told me that, indeed, almost all left-turn lights in the Valley have a detector loop that extends from the stop bar about 40 feet back into the turn lane. This detector, he said, is activated by the size and weight of the vehicle in the turn lane.

That's good to know.

The weight I gained eating that pizza while waiting to turn onto Sullivan is going to come in handy.

Copyright 2001 Cowles Publishing Company
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.